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Lesson learned the sad way

post #1 of 4
Thread Starter 
My aunt just celebrated her 101st birthday in March, just days after my 60th birthday. We were planning on either going down in March or better yet, over Memorial Day long weekend.

So I get home from work on Wednesday to find a voice mail telling me she fell on Saturday, broke her hip, and hit her head. She never regained conciousness and died on Tuesday morning.

Funeral was on Thursday, so we drove all the way from the Twin Cities to the Quad Cities, got there 15 minutes before visitation ended and the funeral began. I even became a pall bearer at the gravesite memorium.

Just imagine the things she saw in 101 years (since 1908). That was the year Henry Ford released the first Model T @ $800. Lived through 2 world wars, the Great Depression, seen electric grids installed almost all through the country, television, computers that you can hold in your hand, and on and on. Had I thought about it, it would have been a great biography to write. She was totally lucid right up to the end.

So, lesson learned. We figured out it was way back in 2004 since we last visited her. I can't believe I let 5 years go by without going down there.

And she dies about 1 month before we really were going down to see her.

So let this be a lesson not to put off till tomorrow what you can do today.

post #2 of 4
Sorry to hear about your lose.
But just think of all the wonderful things and experiences she had in all those years.
post #3 of 4
ddoc -

my mom was living independently, developed some health issues, placed in hospice care.

I was stunned when the doctors recommended hospice; that's usually a somewhat short term situation. she didn't quite seem to fit that classification. my grandmother, my aunt, my dad - all went through hospice - I was fresh out of questions regarding "what does hospice mean" - been there.

eventually she came to live with us, what became a 4 yr journey, still in hospice care.

when she died, we heard from all sorts of people saying how sorry they were they were not able to come see her.

she was in hospice care from Oct 2003 until Sep 2008. she died, unexpectedly, in her sleep - an apparent massive stroke / hemorrhage.

these folks had five years to do something about what they reported to be thinking about.

some folk did come to visit, some repeatedly.
a niece from Australia - _multiple_ times. what an excuse she opted to not use.

at least you had real plans - sometimes plans don't work out - but that's seldom in anyone's control.

aside from the primary caregivers, few can be there "all the time" - I trust you did see her before all the end stuff - whether that was the last week or the last month is not an available option for choice.
post #4 of 4
Condolences to your family, DDoc.
We have all been guilty of putting off until tomorrow...
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