First, I have a huge responsibility to the employees to make sure that the restaurant is lucrative. All our salaries, benefits, livelihood and health insurance come from that source. It has to function. I found thinking about myself as working for all the employees to insure that they have a safe work environment and job security is the bases of the relationship. The employees don't work for me, I work for them.
Second, I can't make all the choices in the kitchen and dining room all the time. Each employee has to have the confidence to make their own decisions at every moment. I've come to learn letting employees make decisions that are different than mine is important, because I don't want to undermine their confidence. When people ask me how things should be done I give them options, then ask which of the options do they think is the best solution. Almost always they answer with the same option that I, myself, thought would be best. I also respect their decisions if they are different than mine, shaking my head and thinking to myself, "Ok, let's see how this works." After a while, I didn't have to make any decisions for anybody, because everyone else was making the correct decisions all the time. Keep in mind that one person sitting in the hot seat of Who Wants to Be a Millionaire rarely gets all the questions correct, but the ask the audience lifeline produces the correct answer 98% of the time. No one person knows everything. Collectively, we do much better.
Third, I define a manager as someone who manages to get things done. I strive to be the hardest working and most producing person in the restaurant. It's not fair to sit around, maybe pick up an inventory list and criticize a line cook while expecting the other members of the team to work their butts off. I work so hard and I can hold everyone else to that expectation. Restaurant management should lead by example.
For those few moments when an employee needs to experience what I call the 'wrath' and the other employees call 'Mr. Hyde', I'm entitled to it and I have to do per first item, as responsibilty to all the other employees making sure the business is lucrative.
Last, I depend on my employees and they know it.