Emily,
Smaller knives are easier to point and handle generally -- and not just for smaller people. The step from a 7" santoku or an 8" chef's to a 10" chef's comes with a learning curve. It's a little steeper for shorter people with smaller hands (women), but it certainly can be surmounted.
The best way to control longer knives is with good "fundamentals." Those are a proper grip (for most people that means a pinch grip), a soft grip (death squeezing makes the knife hard to steer), a reasonably straight wrist, and reasonably good posture. Of course, good technique will make your santoku work better, too.
There are several good ways to sharpen. Freehanding on stones is not the only one by any means. However if you have all sorts of knives, it is the most versatile. It's another skill, though. It takes some time and effort to learn.
It's a little easier to learn how to use a rod guide setup such as an Edge Pro Apex. It's an excellent method for people who want a lot of precision without a lot of learning; AND are willing to put with the rather tiresome ritual of unpacking, setting up, and repacking.
Another very good method is to use a Chef's Choice machine. It's really for people who can accept the same edge geometry on all their knives, and don't want care if they get the best possible edge. Consider the last statement in light of the incontravertible fact that very few people have the skill or tools to get the best possible edge with any method. Chef's Choice isn't a great choice if you want all sorts of different angles and edge geometries. But if you can settle on 15* and/or 20* with a double or triple (trizor) bevel, and your knives aren't incredibly thick (no heavy duty meat cleavers), they've probably got a model which will suit your needs. No question that they're the lazy girl's friend. You just leave it on the counter and freshen your edge whenever you get the whim. Because they're so convenient they get used. You should ask yourself whether something more difficult to learn and/or less convenient will get used as often as it should.
There are many other alternatives such as ceramic "V" sticks; pull-throughs like the Chef Choice, MAC Rollsharp, Minosharp, etc.. The best of these take a lot of work to sharpen a dull knife (best not to let them get too dull); and none of them are as effective as the better alternative I already discussed. Some people who can freehand keep a set of "V" sticks (the best are the Spyderco Sharp Maker, Idahone, and Lansky "crock sticks") around for "touch ups." However, it's my experience that people who are satisfied with a "V" stick aren't effective sharpeners.
Then there are the "V" guide pull throughs with carbide discs and/or rods. Almost all of them will do a lot of damage to your knife. The exception to this rule is the Myerco aka Blackie Collins sharpener which is pretty good for small knives and usable for large.
Something else to consider is whether or not you're going to be using a rod-hone, aka "sharpening steel." A knife such as your little Wusthof can definitely profit from appropriate steeling. One of the two or three best steels at the price is the Idahone 12" fine (ceramic). MAC's black, fine ceramic is just as good. Fortunately, they're both reasonably priced. If you're going to learn freehand sharpening, or are planning to buy an Apex, you're going to need a steel. Although they're not exactly the same technique, learning to freehand and learning to steel will reinforce one another.
Hope this helps,
BDL
PS. There's a lot of nuance, and a lot of complicated interdynamic relationships when it comes to knives, sharpening methods, and sharpening tools. The only "stupid questions" are those which go unasked.