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Silliest Things... - Page 3

post #61 of 76
Small thing, really, but pretty typical. I had one of the kids who's worked for me for almost a year and a half scrub potatoes and wrap them in foil for a catering job tomorrow. I told her how many guests we have, but didn't mention that the potatoes should be rather uniform in size. When she had finished all of them, I noticed that some were smaller then my fist and some were almost as big as my foot.

Sigh. Just sigh......:beer:
post #62 of 76
 This happened the day before yesterday.  I was walking in the corridor past our employee dining room where their dishroom is and I saw an empty container marked "Waldo Salad."  That made me laugh.  
post #63 of 76
I like them
Here is another, I bought  a variety of salads at local Publix Market, last minute surprise guest. Got them home ,chicken salad was bad. Took back the next day /went to service desk/ waited till no customers around ,and told girl it was bad. She asked me how I Knew it was no good .I looked at her and said, the guest I had, ate it and died at the table. She turned colors and went into the back room.
CHEFED
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CHEFED
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post #64 of 76
Quote:
Originally Posted by ED BUCHANAN View Post

........I looked at her and said, the guest I had, ate it and died at the table. She turned colors and went into the back room.

Bwaha haaaa...I do that to telemarketers.
"In those days spirits were brave, the stakes were high, men were real men, women were real women, and small furry creatures from Alpha Centauri were real small furry creatures from Alpha Centauri. "
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"In those days spirits were brave, the stakes were high, men were real men, women were real women, and small furry creatures from Alpha Centauri were real small furry creatures from Alpha Centauri. "
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post #65 of 76
Quote:
Originally Posted by A_mak View Post

 This happened the day before yesterday.  I was walking in the corridor past our employee dining room where their dishroom is and I saw an empty container marked "Waldo Salad."  That made me laugh.  

I have to admit, that made me spit Guinness. 
Dammi un coltello affilato e vi mostrerò l'arte più belle del mondo.
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Dammi un coltello affilato e vi mostrerò l'arte più belle del mondo.
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post #66 of 76

It was my day to run the restaurant kitchen at the school I go to, and the person I assigned to bread seemed a little hesitant and unsure of himself. I reassured him, and told him as long as he doubled the recipe infront of him, and followed it, it would turn out fine. No worried. I go to other stations, and everyone seems to be doing fairly well, although the food order was missing a few things and I had a fair bit of running around to do to get the missing items.

By the time I finish my running around and get back, I see him working away at his dough, with beside him... A friend's pet project that was in the fridge across the kitchen.... a sourdough starter. I have no idea how guy who where it was or even that it was yeast-like, because he seemed to not know it WASN'T baker's yeast.

That batch had to be scrapped. It was like 80 grams of sourdough culture in something like 3kg of dough. It made my head hurt.
 

post #67 of 76
 "Chef, I was boiling the water for pasta like you asked me to, but when I came back from lunch, it had all disappeared."

"Chef, did you know that they make instant mashed potatoes?"

Chef, why do we have to put salt & pepper into EVERYTHING??!?
post #68 of 76
We had a commis in our kitchen and we gave him a lobster to cook - i said " these are special blue lobsters they are very expensive, I want you to cook it for eight minutes, remember it is a blue lobster if it starts turning red you need to take two metel spoons and start hitting the side of the pan as hard as you can, it must stay blue to retain it's expensive value"

As i walked to my office the sound of frantic banging got loader - pour lad
 
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post #69 of 76
Quote:
Originally Posted by chefinchina View Post

 "Chef, I was boiling the water for pasta like you asked me to, but when I came back from lunch, it had all disappeared."

"Chef, did you know that they make instant mashed potatoes?"

Chef, why do we have to put salt & pepper into EVERYTHING??!?

 
1: Facepalm.
2:"Yes.  They do, but we don't."
3:"Because everything needs it."
Dammi un coltello affilato e vi mostrerò l'arte più belle del mondo.
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Dammi un coltello affilato e vi mostrerò l'arte più belle del mondo.
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post #70 of 76
 I almost had a young, and very green, culinary student reaching into a steamer before I explained that it was a joke when I told him to steam the clams open but don't let any of the juice run out or the ensuing sauce would be ruined.
Dammi un coltello affilato e vi mostrerò l'arte più belle del mondo.
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Dammi un coltello affilato e vi mostrerò l'arte più belle del mondo.
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post #71 of 76
I had once a waitress ask what du jour was. As in soup du jour.
Fluctuat nec mergitur
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Fluctuat nec mergitur
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post #72 of 76
Line Cook: "Chef, why do I have to season both sides of the fish?"
Me: "Because the guest will not only be eating one side of the fish." 

another Line Cook: "Chef, after the Lobsters swim and get clean in the boiling water, how do we kill and cook them?" 

and most recently from right here in China - 

(Chinese) Customer to Waitress: "Please send this salad back to the kitchen, the bread (croutons) on top of it are crunchy."
Waitress to me & my Chinese Sous: "Chef, the customer doesn't want this bread on her salad, she says it is crunchy."
As I explained to the waitress, and ultimately my guest, what a crouton is, my sous chef went into the cold kitchen and fell on the floor laughing. 
post #73 of 76
"Steak - Half Rare, Half Well Done"
post #74 of 76
That would be the first w/d order that actually requires a deep fryer....suspend & dip!
"Life is what happens to us while we are making other plans."
Allen Saunders, 1957.
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"Life is what happens to us while we are making other plans."
Allen Saunders, 1957.
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post #75 of 76
Restaurant patrons
 "OK, so the guy at 61 wants his tenderloin rare but closer to medium and no blood" "so mid rare?" "I asked him that and he said NO, Rare but closer to medium and no blood

the FOH manager "this lady says that this lava cake is under cooked can you re make it?"
"Its supposed to be under cooked, that's the whole point" "grrr" 


on a chit
"Burger 
MOD ONLY allergy to tomato's sub Relish with Ketchup" On a side note WHY do people lie about allergy's? If you dint like tomato's I'm OK with that. or the "I'm allergic to fish except salmon" 

"Ribs
MOD ONLY can you fry them hes a trucker 'nuff said"

Servers
"is there dairy in the cheese cake?" "no, no dairy in our CHEESE cake... that one brings new meaning the term Lactarded" 

"whats Parmagono?" "uhhh cheese.." "I wasn't sure so to be safe the gentle men at 24 asked to hold the Parmagono, and sub it with parmagon?" "uhhh sure" the rest of the line is trying not to laugh 

Server "can I get extra chili oil?"
Me"it's a garnish but if you want it spicy I can add some sambal"
Server "no I just want chili oil"
Me"Its actually pretty much food colouring is just to make the plate look nice."
Server"But I like it spicy"

Me "OK chili oil It is than..." Twenty minutes later "spicy enough for you?"

Server"i think you put in too much chili oil"

I really don't bother arguing with them any more, for some of them there is no hope. Ive had my moments too 

"I think every woman should own a blowtorch"
-Julia Cild http://therestau-rant.tumblr.com/
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"I think every woman should own a blowtorch"
-Julia Cild http://therestau-rant.tumblr.com/
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post #76 of 76
 AHHHH I forgot 

"Lamb shank
MOD ONLY Split order"

Me "MANDY to the line please! I cant split it"
Server "its for too older ladies I said we can split it, I know its against policy but.." 
Me "no no no I literally cant split it"
Server "come on Why not?"
Me "well for starters Its atached to a bone..."
"I think every woman should own a blowtorch"
-Julia Cild http://therestau-rant.tumblr.com/
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"I think every woman should own a blowtorch"
-Julia Cild http://therestau-rant.tumblr.com/
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