I’ve moved to Vancouver to pursue the dream Ive had since as long as I remeber, getting out of chilliwack and becoming something bigger. That “something better” has changed over the years. if you asked me 10 years ago I wanted to be an actress, five years ago I wanted to be a screen writer, three years ago it was an author but today and for the last three years I want to be a chef. I wont settle for a kitchen manager, I will NOT setter for a “Chef” I want to create food, real food. Beautiful cakes, tasty steaks and happieness. Thats all I want, I’ve never wanted anything quite as bad, trust me Im not amazing or anything. Trust me I probably would make a hell of a better writer, thats somthing that comes easly to me, this s*** this “blog” I write is nothing. this blog is how I get out all my frustrations and happy moments and share them with really know one because I dont have any followers. I dont have any followers Im good with that, I dont have anyone other that family that eats my food either. When I say “my”food I mean thisngs I create with raw ingrediants, not adding franks red hot to bbq sauce and passing it off as “x” restuarants famous Chicken wings.
this is why Im writing this blog Im furstrated with my job, I havent ever since Ive started cooking Hated my job so much. Ive worked a s***** job with a boss that f***ing hit on me and cooks who continuilessly sexually harassed me but I had fun and I felt inspierd. Ive worked a dish washing job that made me feel totally retarded, but I worked for awsome people who made amazing food. I worked my last job and learned really how to to cook, and felt totally retarded for a long time. I met so many great people who changed my life, I laughed every day for ten months and I miss that. When I take my 40 minute buss ride through the heart of the city past the hotels and fine dineing resturants of vancouver to my job. I hate myself. I Megan M do not settle for any thing, I don’t have a boyfriend, I don’t have an apartment because I dont f***ing SETTLE.
I f***ing hate my job, I cant think of an upside, I get free beer after work but I have zero desire to drink with my coworkers. I can carry my phone around but theres nothing interesting to say. I asked my trainer probably 10 times, “so this job is really easy?” and she said “yeah really easy” I didnt move here for an easy job, I moved here to challange myself. to become something else, somthing better. I didnt come here to be embaressed of the food I put out. I didnt come here to hate myself. I put so much pride in what I do, What I create that I f***ing hate myself when I go to work.
I dont know what to do, I need advice.
Taken form My blog http://www.tumblr.com/tumblelo