There are a lot of good knives in this world, and Wusthof makes some of them. Is a Wusthof, or any western made knife better for you than a well-made Japanese of similar price? Based on what we know about you and your situation, probably not.
As good? More likely, but still probably not. Given what I know about you, my guess is that you'd get more from a Japanese knife.
Before going any further, I should say that one of the best knife retailers in the US, Epicurean Edge, is in Kirkland at 107 Central Way.
EE actually has a wonderful inventory of Japanese made choices, and will also give excellent advice. So, you're in the rare position where you can actually go and play with some knives that most people only meet on the net. Whether or not it's worth the drive is not for me to say.
Also before getting into the analysis, I have a generic recommendation for people who want to move up to their first very good chef's knife, and/or their first Japanese chef's knife, and aren't terribly constrained by price and that's the MAC Pro. More about it later.
Some Preliminaries:
The first thing to understand about kitchen knives in general is that at its most basic it's a way of bringing a sharp edge to a task.
The next thing to understand is that a complex level a knife is part of a system which also includes knife skills, cutting board, sharpening kit, and sharpening skills.
No matter how much you spend, no matter how good the ergonomics, no matter how good the fit and finish, no matter how good anything else, no knife is better than your ability to get it and keep it sharp.
How much sharpness do you want? How much sharpness do you need?
There's no such thing as a knife which is too sharp. And, it may come as a surprise to you, but the "factory edges" on OOTB (out of the box) new knives are seldom very shap at all. Good sharpeners can produce much better. But, you don't have to be the world's best sharpener to get a knife productive.
Yesterday my dad, his girl-friend Fonye, my own SO, Linda, and I went to "Duck Restaurant" in Monterey Park. As it happens, I'd repaired and sharpened a few of Fonye's old Henckels not long ago, and the subject came up. Linda and Fonye agreed (without any input from me) on the same things I'm raising here: A really sharp knife makes a lot of difference, including making cooking more fun; "factory sharp" isn't all that sharp; and they added that a cook won't realize how much of a difference true sharpness makes until she tries it.
It's safe to say that sharpness isn't so much a priority as THE priority. But understand, that how sharp a knife is when you buy it is barely -- if at all -- a consideration.
I mentally divide sharpness into a number of levels: Too dull to use; needs sharpening; adequate, very sharp, extremely sharp (which polishing the edge); and absurd. I'd put the sort of factory edge you'd get on a new Wusthof in the "adequate," class. As a general rule, I sharpen most of my own knives to "extremely sharp" whenever they hit the lower limits of "very sharp."
That lower limit is a knife sharp enough that to cut tomato slices without using the tip to pierce the skin, cut mushrooms which may have gotten a little dry without crumbling, cut onions with almost no effort, and so on, and do fine cutting, such as julienne or brunoise, or fish work without too much thought or effort. An extremely sharp knife feels like it "falls through" onions, cuts glass-smooth fish, and so on. If you don't do much fine cutting "very sharp" is good enough.
Your reality, that of wrestling with a cabbage is not good enough. Whether the problem is with the knife itself or with your husband's sharpening is up in the air. Probably both. So we have to consider what the two of you are going to do about that in addition to buying a new knife. Is he willing to develop his skills? Invest in a better sharpening kit? Et cetera.
Unfortunately, you can't really get and keep a chef's knife sharp with very many methods. With a few expensive exceptions, the possibilities are pretty much bench stones, a better jig and tool system like the EdgePro Apex, and Chef's Choice electric machines.
I know there are people who swear by things like "V" sticks (Spyderco "Sharpmaker," Idahone, etc.), manual "pull throughs" (Wusthof, Henckels, Chef's Choice, etc.), gizmos like the rolla-sharp, and so on. By and large they're either too "slow" to move enough metal to do necessary thinning and occasional re-profiling; or they're so aggressive they (a) create an edge which is too toothy (serrated) and not fine enough; and (b) actually wreck the knife.
Now Apply That to Knives:
When you go choose your knife, you want to look the edge characteristics of edge taking -- potential for absolute sharpness, difficulty in creating a sharp edge; and edge holding -- how much and what type of maintenance is required to keep the knife sharp without going back to the stones (or EdgePro, or a Chef's Choice electric) for a complete re-sharpening.
This takes us back to your question about Japanese knives.
Nearly all western makers limit themselves to a few stainless alloys -- none of which have good edge characteristics. On the other hand, Japanese makers use a variety of stainless alloys -- nearly all of which have good to excellent edge characteristics.
That's it in a nutshell.
Take a Breath:
Enough for now. You're probably overloading and I've got to take care of some other things. You may also have some additional questions.
Let me know when you're ready for more,
BDL