Okay, I need serious help.

OK, question: What is your position on the line or in the kitchen, EC, SC, HLC, LC? What I'm getting at is who is your boss/superior and who is her boss/superior?

 

Now, in my limited experience, I find it highly unusual that a FOH wait person would have ANY reason to tell any BOH personnel what or how to do their job.

 

Woah slow down and relax. We all know how you feel and it has happened to all of us before, the simple answer is 'deal with it'. The fact that a customer likes it cooked this way or that way is none of your concern, you are there to cook it exactly how the customers like it. Just because you think it should be eaten rare does not mean that the customer wants it that way. And your only link to the customer is through your waiting staff, so look after them and they will look after you. At the end of the day you are there to do a job, not give your opinions on every customer and how they want their food cooked. Is it mandatory to wear gloves??? If yes, then wear them and stop complaining, if not then ignore the stupid comments from front of house.
 

She obviously has a crush on you.  The best thing to do is be nice and not snipe back.  Change the subject.  Look at her and tell her something like

 

OK I'm going to start working on this ticket

Table 2 is mid rare?

.

.

.

etc.

 

Make it abundantly clear to her that you are not going to listen nor get into an argument over this.  People shut up when they figure nobody's listening.

 

OR

 

you can just put all her food up three tables at once.  :D

You went out of your way to accommodate this rude, well, I'll hardly call her a woman, GIRL'S, problem with you. You are a line cook. She is a 18 year old waitress trying to tell you how to work. Unless your food isn't coming out on time, or your putting out bad food, she has no right to reprimand you. Don't apologize. You already tried that. She's looking for a fight, not a mature solution. Keep doing your job. If she confronts you again, get a manager, your chef, or some one else involved. Tell them that she is keeping you from doing your work, and acting unprofessionally. Ultimately, if your putting up good food, your far more valuable that a trouble causing waitress. Every one will know that. Don't engage her any more, you'll just give her fuel. Let her dig her own hole. If she can't provoke a reaction with you, she'll try some one else. Eventually every one will get sick of her. 

You can just maybe have some fun with it if you want to and in the process you can develop some very good people skills!

When food comes back from a customer and your little angel decides to verbally berate you and your skills you can let her rant while you keep working and maybe half paying attention to her and when she is done blowing attitude you can just smile and say something like " so do you want more fire or a new plate?"

Showing a person like this that there treatment of you will get them no where is one of the best ways to stop it. Some of the beautiful people on the outside can be the most ugly on the inside. Just dont have anything to do with her (including explanations) and kind of  follow what they taught us in the military the 3 Ps, be Polite, be Professional and be Prepared to defend your self from every person you deal with. 

Totally ignore  her, don't acknowledge  her .Do not say a word. This will p     her off more then anything, and she will bury herself.

First off, we try to keep this a "family" friendly website, and even though you are in the professionals forum we have people of all age reading these posts so please refrain from the use of foul language.  Think of this forum as the FOH.  No matter how rude a kitchen you work in, once  you walk through those doors and into the dining room you are in "civilized" mode.

 

Now to the issue at hand.  I definitely would not apologize to her.  If she ever throws attitude your way, let her know if she has a problem with you she can talk to the chef, then keep quiet.  That will tick her off.  Chances are, unless you really are a problem or your chef has no backbone, your chef will back you 100%.  I've been known to throw servers out of the kitchen for going off on my cooks.  Let him know what went on and let him handle it.  That keeps you as far from the drama as possible.  I know this server type and the minute you confront her, or go off on her she will go straight to the FOH manager with it and then you will have to answer for it.  By then it won't matter who started the whole thing, you'll end up looking like the bad guy, because let's face it, all cooks and chefs are "pyscho egomanics with short tempers."  Best to put your chef on alert so that he can watch your back.

I think all of us who have been in the kitchen deal with that at one point in our career. It is never enjoyable and can be so incredibly frustrating when you are already dealing with an incredible amount of stress from the kitchen. I think the best course of action when this happens is to recognize the situation apologize and move on. The fact may be that the other person doesn't want to move on simply because they won't feel like a simple apology is enough to make up for your wrong. Apologize and consider the case closed. I think the important piece of the puzzle is not to try and explain your perspective. The reality is the other person is so upset at this point they are really not interested in your view point it will only give them more reason to continue on giving you a hard time. It is easier said then done but apologize (sincerely not with sarcasm or disgust) and move on. You are not responsible for the other person no matter how poorly they choose to act but you are responsible with how you act. Be professional and courteous and it will go a long way. Hope that helps man I know how tough these situations can be.

I really don't see you as needing to do anything in this situation. Just keep your head down and do your job. IMO, the Chef needs to go into a closed door meeting with her and make her feel like shes about an inch tall to remind her of who works for who,  and who runs the show.

Remember who is the chef, if you weren't doing your job right then the chef would have you booted.  Ignore her rants and raves about how your doing your job and you do not need to explain, let the chef deal with that.  But if your food is coming back for a refire, just deal with it because that is your customer who your satisfying and not her.  Whatever her personal problems are, she has to leave it at the door like the rest of us.  Just because your boyfriend dumped you, your BBF called you a fat s***, or you just simply woke up like someone p***ed in your Corn Flakes, that has no place in the kitchen and people like that won't last long. 

One response that comes to mind: "Just what is your major malfunction?".

perfect

Just as I said above, She will bury herself.

WHat you have faced is a people management 101 question.  In your career you will find that people will always misunderstand your purpose attitude and actions.  In most situations these people will look actions and reactions the longer they have had the opportunity to know who you are and what you are about.  With that said the situation is exacerbated further by  her reaction and fueling the debate in a disrespectful and childish reaction.  Your next step in this situation is two levels framed by your role.

 

As a member of management, you would take the individual in question with another manager and have a private, and the emphasis here is private conversation.  Begin this conversation by talking about one of her positives (everyone has one, even servers.  Eventhough that is hard to believe).  At this point you will need to get to the point.  The conversation is about respect and maturity and not about your attitude.  No matter what her interpretaion of your actions or attitude, it is her disrespect and immaturity that will curdle the milk in your kitchen.  Conclude with how valued she is, (another difficult moment) and have her depart.  You can further cover your butt by having her sign a document stating you have talked. 

 

Most importaintly this conversation is NOT A DEBATE. Her opinon of your actions or her discussion is not to be allowed. Her only words in this conversation should Thank you or I'm sorry thats it.  You control the conversation.  Make it short quick, expressive and let her know how you felt and how it is disruptive in your kitchen.

 

If you are an hourly.  Find your Chef and have them have this same conversation with them.  Hopefully, they haven't had their head in the pot and will already be aware of the situation to begin with.  You will not and shouldn't be invited to this conversation.

Hope this helps.

It's really simple.  First of all by taking time to talk with this bimbo about how you responded you are taking time not paying attention to your job.  The only response that is appropriate is  "Talk to the chef" period.  I never allowed service personnel to interact with my people, and if they gave any attitude to my cooks they were banned from the kitchen.  Whoever is in charge of the line on any given night is the go to person.  Period.  This eliminates giving her an opening to harass you.  Also, in my kitchens any non essential talk and the person was put on notice.  Three strikes and you're out.  We are not playing games.  We have a job to do, it's serious and it's important, stop the nonsense.

 

Chagal

You could have just said she's eighteen years old and stopped there.  That pretty much explains it all.

 I think we have all had this happen and it is definitely not fun.  I personally would not apologize either.. and I would go the do not talk to her route.  From your update though it sounds like she buried herself.  

OK. It's cool and all that everyone chimed in how it was all the 18 yr-olds fault. I think that was an easy guess, and LuckySlevin came out like a pro. Now, to the other part, a part that really gets me grilled (so-to-speak), the gloves. I'll tell you what I've been directed from an NSF guy (who drinks in my bar, never ever orders any food but still yet criticizes what I make). If you're handling any food that will be going directly to heat (and it better be proper temperature), then you do not need gloves. If you are handling food that will not be cooked and/or will be going to the plate, then you need gloves. That's the way it is. I hope I helped out. 

 

Yeah, RIGHT! Just after ringing up the customer before while answering the phone and writing up a ticket!

 

IF the gloves are changed EVERY time something other than the ready to eat food is handled, you may be correct. Otherwise, it is simply a way to keep the server/kitchen help hands clean and does nothing to prevent cross-contamination or enhance food safety!
 

LOL. Pete ............... I'm going to allow for the fact that I am new here, and don't have a lot of posts. 

 

"I'll tell you what I've been directed from an NSF guy (who drinks in my bar, never ever orders any food but still yet criticizes what I make)."

 

Did you at all catch the sarcasm and/or bad feelings here? I completely agree with you.

 

Your point is correct, and well taken, but in Lucky's situation, I don't think it's the same. 

"Line is basically divided into 2 sides with the chef in the middle .........."

That sounds to me like guys @ stations who are just doing their job and who do fit into the glove-wearing population of kitchen staff. However, I could of course, be wrong.