I have been in my job for around 5 months now and everything was going great until my new head chef came in. He is French and really mean! He also does things which freak me out, for example the other day he was whisking eggs and he was just staring at me while violently whisking. He also does other stuff like when he's tasting my sauces he sticks his finger in and slowly sucks it while looking at me! It's creeping me out. It's my first big job what should i do? Should i complain? I'm worried if i do i'll lose my job :(
well creepy finger sucking is kind of gross. I don't like cooks that put fingers in sauces to taste, we invented the spoon for more then one reason.Maybe talking to the owner about that can put an end to that at least. looking at your avatar you look like a real cutie, so I can understand a bit of staring. I can also understand your not there to be stared at and made to feel creeped out. Again you maybe should bring it up to the owner and see what, if anything they can do about it.
As far as being mean, I have come across plenty of French people that sounded a bit mean and or rude. I have just decided it's a cultural thing with them. They have a very direct way of saying things and sound really serious about it, but they also forgive and forget just as readily. it's a bit upsetting if you've never dealt with some french people before. I used to get really irritated with a French customer we had come in all the time when I worked in a copy and shipping store. He would seemingly blow up over the smallest thing say things in French I knew (I think, i don't speak french) were insults. then when everything was done to his satisfaction he would smile, say what a great job I did and wish me a good day. I just didn't know how to handle it. It took meeting several French over the years for me to change from disliking them in general to shrugging my shoulders and saying it's just how they are and they don't seem to really mean it. Course I have also met some that I would gladly kick back across the pond, but that's like folks everywhere.
I'm with Gunnar, you should bring this up with the owner if it is really making you uncomfortable. It could just be this person's way of working and you aren't used to it.
I also agree that the finger sucking is just gross.. .spoons were invented for a reason and should be used just for that reason. I'm guessing you are in a closed kitchen.. in an open one I'm sure the finger sucking would not be an issue.
Here in Canada we have a completely French province, Quebec and things are definitely very dfferent there than they are in English Canada. My sister in law married a French-Canadian and for years lived in a very small villiage north of Quebec City. She was the only person in town who spoke English and instead of referring to her as Mary or Mme LaVoie, in town she was known as "Mary the English". She did learn French and learned their way of life but still she was always treated like an outsider. Whenever we were there the townspeople were nice to us, well at least to our faces, anyway.
I hope your situation improves.
Thanks for the replies guys :) Problem is it is a closed kitchen and he is the boss of both the kitchens we work in as well as head chef. I work in a hotel so he was brought in specifically to run the kitchens. I really don't know who to talk to about this, would it be wrong to see the hotel manager? He has changed my schedule around without telling as well recently so i missed prep by a few hours and he screamed at me in front of the rest of the staff and i was close to tears to be honest.
I moved to Manchester recently and don't have many friends here yet so i really appreciate the help :)
Don't let him get to you so much that you want to cry. I know it's easier said than done but keeping the stiff upper lip seems to be the way to go. I had an argument last month with the FOH stupidvisor and the owner that left me in tears... it was tears of frustration as they just would not listen to me so I said eff it and did what they insisted I do. Then when the owner came to me (after crapping on the KM for my bad decision making) and asked how we can prevent disaster days, I said.... listen to me and take my word for it when I tell you I have a weak kitchen and need owner support... He has been pretty good at taking my advice since then.
I just made the mistake of calling and asking for the KM.. I am on booked off days this week but the stuff has hit the fan (both dishwashers walked out yesterday) so I am giving up a day to help them out. The owner tried to take a strip off of me because of the time my daughter has booked off (she is a buser) and I told him... I booked it too.. not last week as I was unsure as to how one of the cooks would be after her surgery but I wanted this week as I have had to give up every Holiday weekend I have booked off, and we want to hang out together as a family. He was sort of ok with it but I suspect my daughter is going to be unemployed very soon. Not a big deal for her... she hates busing tables and is ready to move on. I'm sure I will hear more from him tomorrow when I get there.
I'm prepping for a BOH staff meeting.. it must be done as the KM and I are at our end and the guys need to know what is what.
Sorry for hijacking your thread..
Who is your chef's direct supervisor? I think it would be appropriate to take your concerns to him/her.
Stay in touch and keep us posted as to how things are going for you.
I sympathise with you. I have worked for some chefs who were very proficient and professional, but conversely, I have worked for some chefs who were utterly despicable people, and completely miserable to work for. I won't elaborate on my current work situation, but I intend and hope to find a better job next year. I cannot advise you as what you should do, but perhaps you could talk to the hotel General Manager, as the GM is above the Executive Chef. The Restaurant Manager is usually above the Executive Chef, but the GM is above both of them. Otherwise, it might behoove you to be seeking another job, and keep your options open. I understand that it is very expensive, and even cost-prohibitive, to be packing up your things, and moving elsewhere. I have done that for several years, and it wasn't adventurous nor profitable. I have gained knowledge, but have nothing else to show for it. Sometimes, I felt like a culinary vagabond or hobo, traveling the country in search of work... [Anthony Bourdain wrote in So You Wanna(sic) Be a Chef, "When you get out of culinary school, try to work for as long as you can possibly afford in the very best kitchens that will have you--as far from home as you can travel. This is the most important and potentially invaluable time in your career. And where I (expletive deleted) up mine..."]
The job-market is dismal in the U.S., and I bet that it is likewise, dismal in the U.K. I won't tell you a trite answer, such as, "try to make the best of a bad situation," but I could only merely suggest that you try to be strong, mentally-tough, professional, but don't take things personally, it's only business, and it's just a job. You found that job, and you will find another. You seem to be a bright, intelligent, thoughtful, conscientious, attractive, young lady. You will eventually find a better job and better boss someday. I don't take it personally, when the chef excoriates, lambasts, denigrates, insults, offends, affronts, me, and accuses me of having no culinary skills, or that I am a "loser," etc. I hope that you will never meet any chefs like the aforementioned chef, and your strange boss in the trade. Conversely, there are good, proficient, professional chefs in the trade, but they are few and rare, and much appreciated by someone like me.
Sometimes, I feel burned-out, and fed-up with the cooking trade, and feel like changing careers, but I am too old, to be changing careers. Not to mention, I do not have any money to pay for tuition, books, supplies, living-expenses, etc., to return to school.
I don't know if anything I have typed is of any comfort to you, but know that you are not alone, and I hope that your work situation improves for you soon. Otherwise, I hope that you will be able to find another job, in which, you would feel comfortable, and be appreciated for being a professional pastry chef, and not merely being "eye-candy" for some lecherous chef.
Man in Black: Life is pain, Highness! Anyone who says differently is selling something. -- The Princess Bride
Miracle Max: Sonny, true love is the greatest thing, in the world-except for a nice MLT - mutton, lettuce and tomato sandwich, where the mutton is nice and lean...
While Pannini's advice is great and should be followed, don't go reporting anything to anyone until the finger sucking elevates to something like: Theft, gross ignorance of sanitation, racisim/sexism, violence, etc. etc..
It sounds like he (Chef) was brought in to do a job, and he's having fun trying to "pigeon hole" you. By this I mean finding out what your strengths and weaknesses are, what you're capable of, and, of course, what will set you off running and screaming to someone above his head for some minor detail that will, in all likely hood, not be even brought to his attention by that person. While this may sound sexist, I've known many a female Exec Chef behave the same way--both to male and female employees.
Chefs are managers, hence the term "Chef, and "Cook". They must have control over thier food and labour costs, as this is how they are judged, and they do have the right to cut back shifts when and if they feel it necessary. If this technique is abused, by all means, report it to the right people. If things have slowed down a bit after Christmas and everyone's shifts are cut back a bit, let it slide.
If "being mean" includes: sexist/lewd jokes, erratic behavior, violent behavior, verbal abuse, physical abuse, cruel practical jokes, or foul language, by all means record and report this to HR or your State labour board. But it sounds like he hasn't done any of this, other than staring at you. I've had more than one "staring contest" between myself and German/Austrian/Swiss Chefs and I usually win and usually earn their respect within a few months.
Hope this helps...
I have worked for French Chefs in a few places and yours fits the profile. The French Chefs go through some pretty difficult apprenticeships and think nothing of denigrating Americans for their lack of culinary knowledge, expertise or any other human frailty. We had one that so evil he ended up being offered to the French Embassy in Washington DC so he could be in his own element with a entirely French kitchen at his command. He was happy, but not as happy as we were the day he left.
Idiot? That's the worst he called you?
Honey, I know grandparents who call their grand kids worse.
As the guys would say, "grow a pair", or, toughen up.
It's your avatar that gets me thinking.
It ain't you in a turtleneck and tweed skirt infront of a concert grand piano, and it ain't you in Chef's whites in a kitchen setting. It is, however the image you choose others to see of you.
Perhaps this is the image the Chef sees?....
Oh i'm sorry, maybe i should wear a suit with a copy of Dostoyevsky's "The Brothers Karamazov" in my hand to show a side of me more suitable to you? It was a holiday pic of a great time, sorry it offended you so much. And he hardly uses my name, he refers to me as "idiot" which is rude whatever way you look at it.
OK, can you supply some additional information/details, such as:
- Kitchen staffing, atmosphere
- What is your job/position
- What is your culinary background, i.e. experience, training, etc.
- How does the Chef refer to others
- How do others respond to the Chef
Specialties: MasterCook/RecipeFox; Culinary logistics; Personal Chef; Small restaurant owner; Caterer
There is two teams for the two kitchens, one is mainly for the daytime menu and the other for the evening. There is around 6 staff in each team at any given time.My position is pastry chef along with another, this is my first main job since i left university. He seems really friendly with others, i hear him laughing and smiling with other kitchen staff all the time, it seems i'm the one who he picks out. He made me attempt to fillet a salmon even though i haven't done that since college. He then made a huge thing about wrecking it (even though it was done fairly well, despite my lack of experience doing it) and said he was taking it out of my wages. He slammed it in the bin and screamed "useless fool" and walked out. Which was nice because that was my second day.
I know i seem like i'm moaning but i just wanted to know is this normal? I knew the kitchen was a hard work arena but i didn't expect this :(
Is it normal? yes and no. Chefs give the newbies a few kicks in the pants to see how they are going to react. That being said, they should help you learn what you are doing wrong or correct your technique while calling you estupido. Compliments should follow in about a month of doing it "right" or " their" way. If you can stick to your guns and hang in there you should be able to earn some grudging respect. Best advice for now? Next time he says your useless ask just what it was you did that was useless and what he would have done in your position to be useful. Also don't moan to co-workers, that goes right back to Chef one way or another. tell your friends or family or your cat. Stay chipper, nothing disarms people more that don't like you then smiling and asking with sincerity what the problem is and how can you help fix it. as always, best of luck chica.
Do any of you know the term "hostile work environment?"
Finger sucking, lewd staring while whisking, assigning test tasks unsuitable to the job description (since when do pastry people filet fish?) and singling one employee out definitely leans in the direction of harassment.
I suggest you document all these instances and go talk to someone at the local labor board-just to ask questions and get information. Then go to Human Resources if you have what they deem legitimate complaints.
It's the chef that sounds like a real idiot. What fiscal sense does it make to give a whole salmon to a pastry cook to filet, then throw it in the trash? If I was that GM, I'd fire the guy. Takes a lot more energy to throw your weight and anger around at an inexperienced cook than to just teach that cook how to do it properly. The result is an asset to the kitchen brigade, not another employee too scared to take initiative and help when the going gets tough.
It takes 3 months for a new employee to really become a useful member of the crew and get used to that particular kitchen's systems. Alienation of new hires just lengthens that time and encourages employee turnover due to a hostile environment.
I understand these CT chefs advice to toughen up and kill him with kindness, but there's also no need for you to put up with harassment. Toughen up your skills, work efficiently and respectfully, but don't accept any kind of creepy behavior directed toward you either.
You're saying here she deserves to be treated poorly because she posted a cute pic of herself here? Or, she's cute, so the chef has the right to be a creep because he's in a position of power?
That's a reeking load of it, my friend.
Crumble, I hear ya. Being a woman in this industry isn't easy. I have worked in many a kitchen where I was the only female. I got a lot of what you are describing happen to me when I was in college. In all honesty I just tossed it right back. The guys would make a lewd comment to me, I'd toss one right back, just a little nastier. They stare at me licking their finger, I'd do it right back. It would make them laugh and we'd all move on. I worked at a steak house where the head chef would regularly ask me when I was gonna "join him in the stock room on the sacks of potatoes". I won't say what I said in response, but in my experience most of them are all talk and no follow through.
Now that is when I was a single girl. I didn't mind the banter. Now being a married woman with kids, I don't know how comfortable I'd be with it. I know my husband wouldn't like it.
Luckily I have managed to find a little cafe that is an all female staff (not intentionally that way) that I am the chef at so I don't have that issue anymore.
Your mean chef could be posturing, exerting his dominance over the kitchen. He is new, he probably feels like he has to be an a-hole so everyone will respect/fear him. If it makes you feel un-comfortable you should talk to someone higher up. There has to be some one over him. Everyone answers to someone. ;) The finger licking thing skeeves me out tho. If he does that I can't see him washing his hands immediately after and I am sure the health department may have something to say about a chef who licks his hands then handles the food. Maybe try offering him a spoon.
Good luck & hang in there!
Momandchef your comments remind me of our "30 year veteran" and how he handles himself in the kitchen. He once said to me (and this was shortly before he got fired the first time... don't ask...lol) that working in a kitchen is hard, and it's not many women who can handle it. I wasn't sure if he was expressing sympathy for my bad luck in the gender pool, or actually telling me I was doing a good job and could hold my own. He is difficult to work with on the line, and as soon as the Christmas rush is over, he is going to be enjoying a shift cut as he does not work well with our kitchen staff and annoys us more than he helps us. Today he grossed me out and then mouthed me off when I told him to wash his effing hands. He sneezed and coughed INTO HIS HANDS and then went back to the line without washing them. UHM...EWW. I made him trash everything on his station, send his tools to the dish and remake all of his food. He was LIVID at me.. hmm.. what would he prefer... remakes because of HIS bad habits or sick patrons and lawsuits? Crumble, just because they have alot of experience doesn't mean that they are good at working in the kitchen or working with people so please always remember that when you have to deal with them. Just do your job, say "yes Chef" when appropriate, keep your eyes and ears open and learn as much as you can.
Crumble, shame on your chef for making you filet a fish.. I wonder as well.. since when is that a pastry task? I could see it if salmon strudels or something were on your menu and you had to prep the salmon but otherwise get a grill guy to do it. Double shame on him for wasting the fish after he deemed it unsuitable. Could he not have turned it into filling for ravioli or tortellini, , the basis for a sauce for a seafood lasagne, part of a quiche, or even individual salmon pot pies? That fish was salvageable with some creative thought and did not need to be wasted. That is just my opinion and I don't know how your kitchen works or if there is room to make changes to dishes, so I may be out of line with my comments. But, he should have looked at what you did, saw what you had gotten right and then showed you your shortcomings and how you can improve on them. That will help the team in the end and not create the discourse his actions did.
May I ask.. how old are you? I know it sounds irrelevant but age can affect how we deal with the goings on in our workplace. I am in my early fourties, and this is a second career for me. Twenty years ago I would have been eaten alive in the kitchen and I am fully aware of that.
Hang in there my friend, better days are ahead.
Thanks for saying that, Crumble, I may sound like a jerk, but I am a survivor.
True, I'm not a woman, and haven't experienced situations that woman do. One of my first jobs (16 yrs old) there was a nasty waiter who tried to dry-hump me every opportunity he could. Everyone knew, of course, no one did anything, but all were anxious to see how I handled the situation. My solution? Opened safety pins--in the appropriate places...
Hey, I've had my feet kicked out from under me by my chef when I stood on one foot, or --god forbid- tried to sit down, knives thrown at me, I've had the "royal treatment" given to me because: I was the only white guy, I was the only straight guy, I didn't speak French, I did speak German, I spoke "improper" Swiss-german, because I don't have rings, plugs, or tats, you name it. Later on, whenever I was hired in to a new kitchen I automatically looked for the "jilted one", the one whose promotion I got, because in most cases there was sabatoge, lying, cheating and vandalsim done to me until either I or the "jilted one" left. Even later on, I was fired in one place because I questioned the owner of the hotel on why the GM had "kidnapped" my entire crew of 6 --on company time-- to work for him on a private-for profit venture. Obviously I was not informed. The irony of the situation was I was fired for having a lousy labour cost.
By all means record and document what you feel is improper, but remember the reality of the situation. The HR is there for the benifit of the entire operation, not just for one or two chosen employees. Lodge a complaint that has no real weight, and one of two things will be the outcome:
The first is nothing. If no racist/sexist remarks or behavior, physical abuse, or cruel treatment took place, or could not be documented, it's not worth the effort to prove anything.
The second is that the complaints will be brought to the Chef's attention. Nothing will be done. Maybe if he's smart he'll wash his hands a little more often.
Remember, "horse lattitudes" is just around the corner. This is the period from Jan 2nd to about mid March when sales are lousy and the Chef and F&B are scrambling to keep food and labour costs in line, scrambling to keep their own jobs. Hours get slashed--dramatically, people get laid off. I know, It's happened to me, and I've done it to many as well. Only the "chosen" remain.
Maybe your chef is "thining down the herd" in preparation for this period, maybe he's a sexist pig, maybe both, maybe neither.
Good luck and don't think too badly of me
I don't think that the experiences some of us endured while coming up through the ranks should be used as any kind of justification or excuse for tolerating this type of behavior in a kitchen by a chef. What we went through wasn't right then, but it was the status quo. It still isn't right, but things have been changing, as well they should. If a chef behaved in this manner here in the states at a hotel with even a modicum of professionalism, that chef would be looking for a new job in fairly short order. That is today's reality; all our stories of mistreatment are the reality of 20+ years ago.
As for HR being there for the benefit of the entire operation only, I'd have to disagree; that's an oversimplification and it doesn't really make any sense. Even if that were true, it would benefit the entire operation to avoid litigation brought about by a manager creating a hostile work environment (at least by US labor law) as foodnfoto mentioned.
Definitely tread lightly here though, as foodpump mentioned. Make certain you have all your ducks in a row as far as proof of bad behavior is concerned before you bring the matter to the attention of your higher-ups. If there's anyone you can talk to off the record in management that you trust, it might be a good idea to do so before you bring any type of formal complaint. That will maybe give you some idea of which way the wind is blowing.
Dear Crumble, whats up girl? Dont sweat him, and also dont put up with that. Heres what you do,,,, bring it to the attention of a couple of people you work with and trust. Keep it all on the low down and observe how he interacts with you. Now you have wittnesess. Get it.. Then if you have to make your move, with justification mind you. Hope this helps, good luck girl. Bye the way Happy New Year. Later, Dave
The world has changed greatly regarding this types of situations. Often both men and woman simply had to put up with this type of behavior. This is no longer the case as sexual harassment suits are becoming more and more a reality even in small institutions like this. Here are a couple of suggestions.
- Don't wine about it. Seriously. Be an adult and handle it like one. Don't sit around and feel sorry for yourself and say "what should I do what should I do". Too often people do this and it only gets worse. Come up with a plan and execute it. You or anyone for that matter has a right to a "safe" work environment.
- Don't give back what you are getting. Never, never works and only makes things worse.
- Document each incident with the chef's boss. Allow them to deal with it in the appropriate manner.
- If nothing changes you can handle it legally or you can just leave. Cooking jobs are a dime a dozen so you can probably find a new job quickly. Do your research, talk to the cooks (especially the female ones) about if working for the chefs is a good experience.
- Seek out a great female chef to work for.
- If the behavior continues then hire an attorney and let the owner of the restaurant know that you have hired an attorney and will be filing a formal charge against not only the chef but the restaurant. Ask around for help on finding an attorney.
- Accept that fact that no matter what job you have, cooking, computer software, finance, you will have to deal with people like this from time to time. Learning how to handle these situations appropriately is a good skill to have.
My personal choice would be to just leave. It is sad but often the restaurant industry attracts a lot of unsavory people you have to work with. I am a guy and I had to work with a lot of jerks and you just have to learn how to deal with them. What I learned was that the less you pay attention to them the less they hassle you. It is when they see you looking at them and giving them an audience that they keep giving out more trouble. Sometimes though it is just easier to move on then try to fight a fight that won't pay out many dividends. Think long an hard about how you want to spend your time and how much of it (remember your time is valuable) dealing it.
Hope that helps.
This is maybe what we call "working pressure". If you wonder whether it is normal or not to be in such freakin bad situation, i guess you just feel uncomfortable with the chef. Dont cry hey if your chef mad at you. Once my chef screamed and said "Goddamn it!" in front of my face,i kept looking at him and apologize. But afterwards we had a good talk outside. This is not about the french man, for we are here not to judge any nation.
The problem is you are not okay to be badly treated by your head chef. And you need a solution.
Well i think you need to know well your chef first,then let him know you aswell.
When you both can understand each other,im sure your working atmosphere will be good as you expected.
Well yesterday went by without any incident, we were very busy trying out a new menu and it was really enjoyable trying new recipes and showing my pastry skills.
However today was bad. I had an incident happen to me which left me in tears and contemplating if i should ever go back. I came in and put my coat up in the break room, there was a couple of night staff just about to leave. Head chef walked in and quite blatantly pushed past me, i bit my tongue and felt a bit embarrassed as the other staff saw what happened and looked a bit shocked.
When he came back in he brushed past my bum with his hand. It was quite deliberate and so i told him so. He went off the handle saying how i'm a troublemaker and why would he "fucking touch me, some British bitch when he has a beautiful wife at home". Everybody heard it and it seemed like when i went into the kitchen everyone just ignored it. I was shaky throughout prep and i really need a think about what to do
I have just bought a new house and i need this job. The wage is brilliant and i was looking for a job for ages before i found it so i don't know what to do at all. I don't want to bother my Mum with it as she is having problems of her own and my silly little thing shouldn't distract her.
What shall i do? He scares me and i don't think i can talk to anyone in the ktchen as he would probably hear about it.
O.K., this is past "idiot" stuff, guy's a jerk and wants you out, hence his behavior.
If you still want the job, you'll have to deal with him. You were right to make it "public" to the others in the room what he did, probably the best thing to do in that situation. And, considering his snotty reply, it "got" to him.
He also isn't very smart.
In most cases if you go above his head to report his behavior, a jerk will seek retribution. The only thing I could see right now is a pow-wow with the HR, you and him, and looking at options where contact between you both is very minimal. This is a short -term solution, as sooner or later one of you will leave, but it will make an impact on the HR, especially the way the jerk behaves himself during the meeting and his treatment of you afterwards. But it is a short-term band-aid.
But the guy's a jerk and wants you out.
I've never worked in the U.S. and am blissfully ignorant as to the laws there regarding workplace behavior. In Canada, all claims must first be brought to the labour board. I have no idea how it works in Britain. Hiring private lawyers, IMHO, is a money and hair-loosing proposition, as if you must first establish that such behavior actually did take place, and many co-employees will be "reluctant" to witness incidents.
Like it or not, it's time to start sending out resumes again.
It seems to me that no matter what you do, you are going to have to leave. Either you leave because you don't like how you're being treated or you leave because you report him and he wins. If you're the only one lodging complaints, he's probably going to win. From a management perspective, lawsuits notwithstanding, who is more valuable in the kitchen?
Behave professionally. As Nicko said, don't whine about it. I'd suggest that until you have another job one lined up, or you are learning a lot and furthering your career, get a tougher skin. Don't let him know he bothers you. The next time he touches you, though, you need to take that to his superior. I would tell my daughter the same thing.
Hey Crumble...I see you are getting a lot of helpful advice and I really hope this situation clears up for you soon.....I have been in your position with work environment is so terrible and the choices are zilch. I won't tell you you should take my advice because well I would handle it very differently than everyone else, but sometimes lots of ideas can help you formulate a plan that works for you. That said, I am also a decade older than you and have work experience that has helped toughen my skin. Men like him are little, tiny, gum on your shoe. Not a man, not even close. While I see that the majority seem to think this behavior is acceptable on ANY level, it is beyond me that anyone would give this a$$hole reasons, excuses, validation for how he acts. Personally, he would get away with the physical contact once, second time, he gets to find out what it feels like to get his a@@ kicked by a chick:) The staring, "take a f*cking picture, it lasts longer" or "you like what you see? haha you'd never even get close to someone like me" or "do you require an appointment with an eye doctor, seems to me you can't move your eyes much", while lame, the general point is NEVER endure it, you find a way to make it stop. In a way that works for you. But I don't care what any of you men out there want to say or think, I will skin you alive if you think you have the right to invade my space, put your hands on me, or ever make a pathetic attempt to intimidate.
At the very end of the day, the best and most surefire way to deal with ANY hostile, aggressive, abusive person is to KILL EM WITH KINDNESS:)
Be super sweet nice, don't ever let your true feelings show, pretend all is great in your world and that there is nothing that is affecting you.....no one likes a boring show right:P
I would never work in the service industry again due to the ice age mentality some still try to cling to, and I was higher management.
I am not a man hater lol I love my husband very much, and he is a tradesmen (construction), I just really hate the tiny ones that never made it anywhere in life and then to feel "manly" be a total pr!ck to someone, yup, not my definition of a "man"
Good luck Crumble, hang in there, you will figure it out, also could you let us know roughly where you are? Maybe someone might know someone around where you are and can assist in finding you a better job with a company that deserves your hard work.
Happy New Year Everyone!!
LAST NOTE: If you are at the point where you are afraid, do what everyone is telling you and record every incident, date, time, exactly what happened, take it to management and tell them it needs to stop, if they do nothing, take your log and go to the nearest police station and tell them what is happening. Trust me, they will ensure it is dealt with or this guy could be (very likely by the sounds of it) charged with harassment, threatening you in a non-verbal way (staring/glaring), these are against the law. Have his a$$ arrested.