Worst things about being a Chef - Page 5

Here's something that got me today. It gets me all the time, I'm just pointing it out now. It's rich people that have to let you know they are rich, and who think they are anywhere near equivalent to being "pro-qualified" since the biggest percentage of us who are, don't make big money. They explain their "fabulous recipes" that are so good over-the-top because of the ingredients they use. They only use "Meyer" lemons, "Hass" avocados, "Kobe" or "Wagyu" beef and all beef that they used is "prime". Anything they use is like this, and they make sure that you know it. Get a clue. 

Quote:

Originally Posted by IceMan 

First off, it bugs me that FOH can't figure out that it is never the fault for anything of BOH. BOH is never wrong, so don't ever blame them for anything.  Secondly, FOH has no right to say anything whatsoever about pay. As a very decently paid BOH chef, I can't remember ever making more than the lowest, crummiest FOH person, on any given night. Next, FOH should just SHUT UP about ways to order dishes. I make my menu the way it is because that is the way it is. Don't go telling people how you like your regular, standard, been around for a long time, classic dishes all specialized. SHUT UP.

I had that problem at my last place.  The main owner was utterly clueless as to how to run a restaurant (typical in franchises I've heard) and he put all his stock in what the FOH said.  So of course us in the kitchen were ALWAYS wrong even when a server messed up and didn't punch in an order properly.  Hmm.. I failed mind reading in school so I need it either spoken to me or written down for me or I have no idea what is in their mind!

Sometimes in my experience the BOH does mess up and things get put in the window that are wrong.  There are at least another two sets of eyes that see the plate.. the expo and the server and if it hits the table without anyone seeing the mistake well.. we all messed up that time. 

I had a server yesterday come into the kitchen and looked relieved when I had some hollandaise on the stove.. and asked if I could make a serving of it as she forgot to add it to an order.  I said sure I could do that and thinned it with a bit of milk as it was lumpy and set it to cook.  She was in such a rush for it she came in and finished it herself.  She felt bad that she had to put it to me on the spot as I was alone at the time. 

Having friends call in the middle of lunch and ask "what is couscous, and how do I make it"?

Give the obligatory 20 second  response, say I'm busy got to go, ok....but I'm making chicken skewers too, what do I marinate them in?

Quote:

Originally Posted by IceMan 

Here's something that got me today. It gets me all the time, I'm just pointing it out now. It's rich people that have to let you know they are rich, and who think they are anywhere near equivalent to being "pro-qualified" since the biggest percentage of us who are, don't make big money. They explain their "fabulous recipes" that are so good over-the-top because of the ingredients they use. They only use "Meyer" lemons, "Hass" avocados, "Kobe" or "Wagyu" beef and all beef that they used is "prime". Anything they use is like this, and they make sure that you know it. Get a clue. 

LMAO. Funny thing about Meyer lemons. I grew up with a very productive Meyer lemon tree in my backyard, only I didn't now it was a Meyer. I'd sometimes buy Eureka lemons from the market because the Meyers just didn't have the right tang for stuff like guac. Years later, when Meyers became all the rage, I bought some at the local fancy market, and holy cow! I found out that there were the same lemons I grew up with. I guess I was spoiled by growing up in Southern California. We had a Hass avocado tree too.

Worst thing about being a chef, in my experience, is trying to advance your career.  I've been busting my a** at s*** joints for 2 and a half years (and I have the before after 80 lbs photo to prove how hard I work).  I'm not that interested in money, I just want the chance to learn to cook more than grilled chicken, cheap cuts of fish, hamburgers, and choice steaks. But every chef still looks down their nose at me and talks to me like they did 5 years ago when I was fresh out of high school. Like I'm naive, like I'm not willing to work very hard (or haven't already) not yet come to grips with what I was getting myself into. Et cetera... and ultimately seldom taken seriously.

I write this, tonight, unable to sleep. Thoroughly frustrated by my colleagues, and an unsuccessful hunt for a new job.  I need to get up early and get myself ready for a LONG day, but I feel like my blood is boiling in my veins.

i've got a few

-when the front of house manager tries to tell you how to prepare a ticket, because he/she sees food under the heat lamp.

-your boss telling you that you got a raise, but not telling you how much. then you check your paycheck to find out you've gotten 50 cent raise. what the FUCK am i supposed to do with that?!

-people, line cooks, dishwashers, or whatever, who walk out in the middle of a shift. at least be grown-up enough to finish your shift. you just screwed all of us, buddy.

-when my kitchen gets 140+ degrees and the sweat just won't stop pouring.

-when the corn starch disappears from the bathroom

Quote:

Originally Posted by wrenchmetal 

-when the corn starch disappears from the bathroom

-when some smartarse secretly replaced the cornstarch with the powdered sugar to see if we could tell the difference. That was a fun night...

haha this thread is kind of a drag. but i have to add my two cents.

-going to dinner (you remember the one time you did that last year right?), and having everyone ask you opinion, "as a chef!". this kills me, every time. what am i suppose to say? 

-girlfriends still expecting the french laundry treatment after 3 months. im sorry, but i used all my meager tricks to get you naked.

-not being able to sleep until 4 am because you slept til 11, have enough caffeine, booze, and residual adrenaline to kill an elk in your system.

-accidentally slipping into spanish at home.

-laundry.

-sharpening all your knives just how you like em and that dude working next to you just ever so casually uses one to pry open a can.

-making staff meal and having a server who came into work 15 minutes ago complain that shes sick of chicken thighs.

you know what really sucks though? (at least i imagine, this is what i tell myself)

-sitting in an office all morning staring at a monitor.

-not having squeeze bottles of various boozes around when you really need them.

-parking at the grocery at anytime other than 2-3 am or wednesday morning.

-not having any idea what tired is.

-not getting chicken thighs every night for dinner.

ROFL!!!! I just need to find a girl that gets all hot an bothered when I stumble home in the wee dark, stinking of sweat and fish, and won't shrink away from hands that still reek of garlic and bacon and onion, no matter how hard you scrub.

Funny thing about that really sucks list. I took a short break from culinary a couple years ago. My feet were totally blown out (It had got so bad, I couldn't walk on my days off), and I was working on a business degree. On the advice of my accounting teacher, I took a part time job at HR Block (a US tax preparation chain) for some pocket money. It was something of a realization. I made at least twice the money per hour, could do it sitting down, IN AIR CONDITIONING!!!!. I even had a health plan (a miserly one, but still), and all the FREE continuing education I wanted. On the downside, I had to wear a tie and fancy shirt. Also had to police the casual swearing. It's an odd balance between amenities and freedoms we choose.

So many things wrong with this sentence I don't know where to begin. Please tell me you don't make hollandaise from a packet... :)

I wouldn't change my job for much of anything. At this point, it would be nice to get off the line full time, but I think I'm still a couple years away from doing that. 

One of the things I like the least is when people assume that being a cook/chef is like it is on the food network or other TV shows, and they have no idea of the daily grind and repetitiveness of the job. To them its all glamour..but we know better. 

It always strikes me as funny that people seem to think that chefs and cooks have all these "secrets." True, there is a lot of technique that goes into fine cooking, but a lot of it is just basic stuff. I always tell people that, aside from the better quality of ingredients, the major differences in professional cooking are butter, salt, stock, and the fact that I have 12 hours a day to cook you dinner. 

Sadly, Someday it was made from canned powder.  Not the way I would do it but well.. I am no longer employed there and it's not my problem.  I'm just hoping my last pay clears....
 

gnarly. yeah we play tricks on each other like that all the time. keeps you on your toes

Quote:

Originally Posted by wrenchmetal 

gnarly. yeah we play tricks on each other like that all the time. keeps you on your toes

Have you ever 'packed' anyone's mise. You fill most of the mise container, (600 pan whatever) with crumpled paper towels, and then top it off with a layer of mise so it looks full. In the middle of service, he starts grabbing paper towels instead of the diced tomatoes. LMAO, never gets old.

I think the best prank I've ever seen was the battered and deep fried car keys. Serving them on a doily was funny, but the parsley and lemon wedge garnish was over the top.

My car got plastic wrapped one night at work.  I also had a staff invest a lot of time for me on one.  The plastic straps that come on cardboard cases, lines, etc.. drive me ocd when I step on them.  They filled up my whole car and hatchback with these one night; took me almost 45 minutes to clean them all out. 5 or 6 large trash bags full  I couldn't be mad as they are fair game for me daily and I respected the prank; had to laugh while cleaning them out by myself after locking up at close.

Quote:

Originally Posted by fishinchef 

My car got plastic wrapped one night at work.  I also had a staff invest a lot of time for me on one.  The plastic straps that come on cardboard cases, lines, etc.. drive me ocd when I step on them.  They filled up my whole car and hatchback with these one night; took me almost 45 minutes to clean them all out. 5 or 6 large trash bags full  I couldn't be mad as they are fair game for me daily and I respected the prank; had to laugh while cleaning them out by myself after locking up at close.

Always a good idea to keep personal keys and work keys seperate. I used to get tobasco in my coffee, now I always smell before I drink. 

mine used to be my husband ringing up during a saturday when we had weddings and asking what was for dinner .or forgetting where I last left my pint of tea and getting another one,then losing that My sous and others used to follow the temp of the tea around the kitchen in order to find me.

Having your best whites on only to have some bird head waiter go through the wrong door and plaster you with left overs.

Better yet the people at a buffet asking for the crisp parts of the beef I wanted to kill them for making the beef look naked

One of my pet peeves was the people who tried to grab meat off the carvery without tongs I nearly cut one mans fingers off at the knuckles for reaching across the board to grab some crispy bits.

but my biggest grissle was the people who tried to carve the meat themselves when I had gone out to get another joint HOW DARE THEY TOUCH MY KNIVES 

thinking about eating some food that you do not cook but no one can cook like yours in the family..

Here's what really grinds my gears.  I sell quality home-made food for a decent price (not much over 7 bucks).  There's a very popular 'fine dining' restaurant a few miles away.  I've been there three or four times, have ordered the prime rib every time, and it has been crap every time.  Yet people will go there once, twice a week spending 35 dollars for a very low quality steak, and come to my place and complain about a 7 dollar special that has a 40 percent food cost, and took me 2 hours of prep work, plus cook time.

Am so very sorry that folks see Coeliacs as a problem.

Its not a life style choice...its a disease.

I have been stared at as though I have two heads for asking about gluten free....and on the wonderful plus side....I have given a chef (I wont name..he would be so very beetroot red)...a wonderful opportunity to be creative,,...make something a little different...and rise to the challenge. A memorable occasion...and for all the right reasons...

Its not that difficult to cater for gluten free. There are at least 650,000 of us in the UK.

Look around in your kitchen...can you see 10 people?? At least one of them is Coeliac...and they may not even know....

The profile male to female Coeliacs is about 40/60. But is can be any age...from tiny babies to mature 90 year olds.

Yes I am Coeliac...(and diabetic!!). My challenge each month is to read BBC Good Food magazine(amongst others)..and make any recipe from the magazine...gluten free.

Have converted family recipes from 1850 (not 10 to 7)..to Gluten free....

I am not a trained cook..so if I can do it...you can too!!

If you need guidance...email me. (hope thats allowed)

Janet@wellfoods.co.uk

Kind regards

Janet

Quote:

Originally Posted by Apricot 

Look around in your kitchen...can you see 10 people?? At least one of them is Coeliac...and they may not even know....

 

Celiacs does not affect 1/10 people. Most estimates I've seen say something like 1/100.

Celiacs is a disease and not a lifestyle choice... but going gluten-free is a lifestyle choice. :p A lot of celiacs are asymptomatic but inexplicably go off gluten anyway. Go figure.

OTOH, I understand people with noticeable symptoms wanting a gluten-free diet. But it's still a nuisance. I'll cook for someone who's gluten-free, or vegetarian, or vegan, or who has any sort of allergy. I'll do it as well as I can. I'll hope they enjoy their dining experience. I'll take their money. And I'll complain about it to fellow cooks. :)

On the topic of being gluten-free, many autistics also claim going gluten-free (and casein-free) helps. This is highly disputed, though.

I have NO problem whatsoever cooking off the reservation for people with allergies or ingredient difficulties, as long as those situations are REAL. I can't stand those people who want to follow "voodoo of the day" and make special pain-in-the-butt special orders because they think there is something in it for them. They've "heard" that this must be better. Or they've heard/seen some TV celebrity chef say/do something. I can't stand that. I'm also fed up with every so-called "expert judge" on some stupid cooking/food TV competition claiming "lack of seasoning". Scott Conant is the worst. I want to jab a fork in his throat while watching him, and Tom Colicchio is next. THE SALT IS RIGHT THERE IN FRONT OF YOU ON THE TABLE. You idiot morons. Put on as much as you want. The second biggest dietary problem, #2 only to obesity, is high blood pressure. I specifically under-season most all of my dishes for this reason. I go out of my way to use the best quality ingredients so as to show off their flavors. You can put on as much salt after that as you like. You can't however, take it out. Good luck after that if/when your heart explodes. Anyway, back to the idea. Don't claim you're something when you're not. Find out for real if it's important. Don't make chefs jump through "special order" hoops if it's not really necessary. Trust me, you ainte special doing it. 

Listening to my worst cook tell me he is my best

I remember that I worked in place where I needed to go to the fridge, but when I was there I forgot to hold the door openned and I got lock inside! People couldn`t listen to me, but finally someone openned it, not to save me (of course), but to get more cherries

Another bad thing in a Chef`s life:

- you can`t fart when working, while the delivery boy can do it!

- you can`t play guitar very well, because it`s not allowed for a Chef to have your nails long enough.

- you can`t have sex where you work, while some people can, for example "those girls"...

Quote:

Originally Posted by PeixeEscorpiao 

- you can`t have sex where you work, while some people can, for example "those girls"...

 

 Uhhh..... the stories I could tell you!  Like the one wher the garde-manger and waitress were in the walk-in freezer and had sorta/kind "froze" themselves to a s/s shelf.  Or the time...

humm... it`s kinda interesting, i would like to see some good events like those you`ve seen 

You sure?   Those people weren't porns stars, ya know........

Here's one that will make your hair curl.

Worst thing about being a chef......one of your summer interns decides to sell meth and heroin from his dorm room and to top that....sells some to your son who proceeds to overdose and has to be taken away by ambulance to  the hospital and is in a coma .

Now it's freakin 4th of July, the restaurant is full and turns tables a few times, there is also a banquet for 250 and you are down 2 people in the kitchen.

Take that to the bank.......

Quote:

Originally Posted by PeixeEscorpiao 

- you can`t fart when working, while the delivery boy can do it! 

Under the hood vents everything is fair game