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The TRAGIC death of a Sharpie

post #1 of 8
Thread Starter 

I left a Sharpie on the counter last night, only to find I'd forgot to replace the cap this morning.

 

This is a lesson and a warning to cooks everywhere -

 

The innocent death of this Sharpie was caused by my lack of attention to detail. I am utterly ashamed.

 

The Sharpie has few natural enemies. They are hunted and captured with impunity by other cooks, but even they would not harm their prey. No, alas, the great Sharpie heard has one less member in its ranks. This is a sad day for all of us.

 

As I hear the wailing of his bretheren from someone else's station, feel the sense of loss shared by the two rolls of tape in the walk-in -- and embrace the void left in my side pocket -- I am ashamed, horrified and do not know what my future holds.

 

I have killed my friend and companion - The three days we spent side-by-side were filled with trying to remember what year this is, and what day of the month. But our friendship was timeless.

 

As his little fat body lays to rest among egg shells, broken deli cups and potato peels, may he rest in peace.

I shall fill his tomb, which is the bin next to the counter, with memories of this mornings waste and of my own regret.

 

And when the vessel has been prepaired, I shall carry it to the sacred crypt of the front-loading dumspter, next to the hallowed grease trap.

 

Today will be filled with loss, and sorrow. But I shall keep the spirit of the Sharpie alive.

 

     It may be five minutes, or it may be an hour - But as I'm getting aquainted with My Sharpie's brother, another cook will ask . . .

   . . . "Hey, who took my sharpie?!" 

 

The End.

 

Death_of_a_Sharpie.jpg

Do or Do not - There is no Try. - Yoda
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Do or Do not - There is no Try. - Yoda
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post #2 of 8

LOL. Good story Trooper. I used to carry a red Sharpie in my sleeve pocket. That ended when a stupid head chef, in a big hurry at the pass, grabbed it from my sleeve thinking it was a meat thermometer. NO, I don't know why. Maybe it was the red cap, maybe just because most guys keep their thermometers in their sleeve, whatever. The guy was an idiot all the same. Anyway, he jabs it into a big châteaubriand and then yells at me for having a bad thermometer. He was really mad when the sous yelled out for a re-fire because the original was just massacred by a Sharpie. I spent the next 2 days just being quiet. 

"And those who were seen dancing were thought to be insane by those who could not hear the music."

I'm not sayin', I'm just sayin'.

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"And those who were seen dancing were thought to be insane by those who could not hear the music."

I'm not sayin', I'm just sayin'.

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post #3 of 8
Thread Starter 

 

Quote:
Originally Posted by IceMan View Post

He was really mad when the sous yelled out for a re-fire because the original was just massacred by a Sharpie. I spent the next 2 days just being quiet. 


LoL LOL LOL!!!
 

Do or Do not - There is no Try. - Yoda
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Do or Do not - There is no Try. - Yoda
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post #4 of 8

*sniff* poor poor sharpie.

 

 

"In those days spirits were brave, the stakes were high, men were real men, women were real women, and small furry creatures from Alpha Centauri were real small furry creatures from Alpha Centauri. "
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"In those days spirits were brave, the stakes were high, men were real men, women were real women, and small furry creatures from Alpha Centauri were real small furry creatures from Alpha Centauri. "
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post #5 of 8
Quote:
Originally Posted by trooper View Post

 

Quote:
Originally Posted by IceMan View Post

He was really mad when the sous yelled out for a re-fire because the original was just massacred by a Sharpie. I spent the next 2 days just being quiet. 


LoL LOL LOL!!!
 


You got me there! I was thinking of this Sharpie (who was it?) until when I scroll down my mouse and see the Pen! :) lol

post #6 of 8

R.I.P., poor Sharpie.

 

Trooper - if you ever lose your day job, consider writing.  Great story :)

 Don't handicap your children by making their lives easy.
Robert A. Heinlein

 
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 Don't handicap your children by making their lives easy.
Robert A. Heinlein

 
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post #7 of 8

Hahaha. I have 5 of them on my desk right now. All alive and well though, fortunately.

post #8 of 8
Thread Starter 

 

Quote:
Originally Posted by DC Sunshine View Post

R.I.P., poor Sharpie.

 

Trooper - if you ever lose your day job, consider writing.  Great story :)



Thanks, Man - sadly, I spend more time writing than I do cooking.

Do or Do not - There is no Try. - Yoda
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Do or Do not - There is no Try. - Yoda
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