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Spectacular business opportunity!

post #1 of 7
Thread Starter 

I seem to be getting a lot of these lately, both via e-mail and phone calls:

 

I am Abdullah Jones, Crown Prince of Nigeria, I am Jane Smith, sales Representative of Poop-on discounts and deal-of-the-week, I am about to make you an offer you can't refuse.

 

You will be allowed to service my  customer base!  Of course, for this privilege, you must give a 50% discount on your goods/services to my customers, and from the remaining 50%, I might give you--if I feel generous that day- a whopping 25% back.  Make no mistake, these are MY customers--that is, they pay me money, you provide them the goods, and I give you some pennies.  You are NOT allowed any customer information from my data base, you are only a third party.

 

Hopefully you have not heard the viscous rumours that Poop-on needs you more than you need Poop-on.These are outrageous, untrue and wrongful lies!  Nothing could be further from the truth!  It's just that our marketing techniques are too overwhelming for your simple minds, and explaining them to you would crush your fragile, eggshell heads.  So don't ask how our superior marketing will do wonders for your business.  However, if you should make any kind of money in the future, Poop-on will take all the credit for this---it has nothing to do with your goods or services.

 

So, now that I have taken my precious time to patiently explain this marketing scam technique, you are indebted to Poop-on and will take our services.  Your Visa#,  banking information, and first child are required now before we can proceed.

 

Aggressively,

Apfelmus-Tortenguss Orgasmus, Ceo and Coo of the First Nigerian Savings & Loan

Jane Smith, Poop-on Discounts and deal-of-the-week.

 

 

 

How 'bout you guys?

...."This whole reality thing is really not what I expected it would be"......
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...."This whole reality thing is really not what I expected it would be"......
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post #2 of 7

Never experienced that with phone calls. Emails yeah. My thing is, why do they even bother. Is anyone actually dumb enough to do it?

post #3 of 7
Thread Starter 

Yup.

 

Most of the restaurants smartened up , but a few still do it even now.  These are the ones trying to sell the place and need it full of "customers", or complete noobs who bought into the "marketing hype".

 

Some businesses sit up and beg for it.  These are the guys who've bought a container of 1980's era Soviet swim wear and are selling it "at half price".

 

But they are persistant lite (deleted) -ers.  They tell me "Their customers" have asked that my business to be featured on Poop-on or whatever.  DOH! Of course, who doesn't want it at 50% off?

...."This whole reality thing is really not what I expected it would be"......
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...."This whole reality thing is really not what I expected it would be"......
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post #4 of 7

But FoodPump, you just don't understand, laser.gifyou will make it up on volume!

Chef,
Specialties: MasterCook/RecipeFox; Culinary logistics; Personal Chef; Small restaurant owner; Caterer
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Chef,
Specialties: MasterCook/RecipeFox; Culinary logistics; Personal Chef; Small restaurant owner; Caterer
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post #5 of 7

 

Please be warned:

 

Though I am not a Professional Chef, please be aware that the European Union Government has announced on all News channels, that this is an enormous group of Nigerian foul players, seeking to have you invest your money in their accounts, and thus, be aware ! There is no business. This is pure black mail. It is a Mafia for lack of a better word. Total Falseness.

 

Kindest.

Margcata.

post #6 of 7
Thread Starter 

Uh..well, I was having a little fun with the "Nigerian" connection, but the main text is pretty typical of what I've been getting since late Jan..

 

No, Margcata, this is  totally a N.American thing, called "Groupon" or "Deal of the week" or many other names.  I doubt if it is Mafia or organized crime related.  Like "Cheez whizz", I hope it nevver, ever, makes it to Europe.  It is, however, popular in most N.American cities.

 

These are businesses that have a group of "customers" that they offer deals to, and this is usually done via smartphone.  The customer buys the deal through Groupon or whatever and Groupon pays the business offering the goods or service.  It's kind of like having your clothes on fire while you're on a motorcycle, everyone thinks that if they drive fast enough they can out run the fire.

 

Groupon (or others) contact normal business owners and ask them to offer goods or services at usually a 50% mark down on thier advertising scheme, and from the remaining money, they take 25%. It is pretty disgusting listening to their sales pitch.  I've had people call me all sorts of nasty names, and given me nasty gestures, but this sales pitch makes me want to push thier phones in body crevices so far up that surgery would be required to extract it .

...."This whole reality thing is really not what I expected it would be"......
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...."This whole reality thing is really not what I expected it would be"......
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post #7 of 7

If I was  to have answered and taken advantage of all the Nigerian as well as other MONEY YOU WON deals I have recieved over internet, I would hae been the proud recipient of Billions of Dollars.

   All I would have to have done was send all my personal info to a E address with sometime a check to redeem all my new found wealth. What I do is E them back and tell them a copy of their E mail has been sent to Florida Office Of Attorney General. That being done I Never get same one again.

Chef EdB
Over 50 years in food service business 35 as Ex Chef. Specializing in Volume upscale Catering both on and off premise .(former Exec. Chef in the largest on premise caterer in US  with 17 Million Dollars per year annual volume). 
      Well versed in all facets of Continental Cuisine...

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Chef EdB
Over 50 years in food service business 35 as Ex Chef. Specializing in Volume upscale Catering both on and off premise .(former Exec. Chef in the largest on premise caterer in US  with 17 Million Dollars per year annual volume). 
      Well versed in all facets of Continental Cuisine...

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