OK ... I'M HAPPY!!!

YIPEEE!!!!!

I just got a call-back for a TV show audition. I'm happy. 

New show, major regular network ABC.  Hosted by Nigella Lawson and Anthony Bourdain.  I kinda feel a little stupid, but I don't know the name. 

I'm happy!!!

LOL. I aint'e got no details.      I applied.  They liked my application.  I got a call ... had a chat ... it was nice ... I was then asked to come in and audition.    I'm happy.    I've got to make a "WOW" dish, that can be plated/presented in 3-minutes and then consumed in 1-bite, and then whatever else they want me to do.      Anything else ... I don't know.           I'M HAPPY!!!

It's coming up next Saturday.      I'll let you know when it happens. 

LOL.    Trust me ... if I make it to the TV show ... EVERYONE will know about it. 

Thank you all for caring. 

OK. So I gotta make them a "WOW" dish. At first that didn't give me any problem, because I've got lot's of "WOW" dishes. Hey, that's what I do. That was right up until I read the directions/requirements/regulations/fine print. Yeah, reading is fundamental. It's gotta be "1-bite", basically an amuse-bouche. OK then, no big deal, I'm cool, I've done those. I had to shift gears. Whereas my first idea was a small thing, not everyone can do them in 1-bite. I don't expect to be auditioning in front of slobs. If you're gonna ask, my first choice was a "trio of sliders" (steak sammich, chx salad sammich and lobster-roll) w/ a "glob'o'salad" (cole slaw, potato salad, mac salad) to go with each one. Anyway ... that's out. 

New plan. I make a really good "spring-roll". Really, I do, it's very good, Asian people have said so. My original roll has got lots of stuff. It's the size of a regular dinner egg-roll. I don't make it 1-bite size usually, but I've been working on it since Thursday and I think I've got it down. As long as I don't have to do it in front of them, because it just aint'e gonna happen in the 3-minutes they said I've got to plate. I'm prepping in a special pita way for this, making each and every part the exact same size. It will be large sushi size. I'm trying to get it to 5cm/2in long x 3cm/1in dia. I will cut it on the diagonal with one piece laying down and the other standing on end. I'm gonna serve it on a plate w/ two(2) sauces in a ying-yang design and a slice of grilled lemon. I hope it works. 

**  I forgot this.    I don't have much dry-ice experience for something like this. I gotta get it +/- 1-hour from point A to point B; stand around for a while; have my food cold but not frozen. I could use some discussion here on this idea. TIA for the help. 

I'm not sure when will be "My" time, but the ordeal is scheduled from 10:00 - 4:00 cdt. 

I've also got an attire quandary.    Do I wear regular people clothes or chef clothes? 

OK. That's what I was thinking.    I'll dress standard "Joe Cool", because that's me, and I'll have a bag with my work clothes to go with if it looks like the better way to go.    Thanks.    

OK. It's 3:30 ... my kitchen is a wreck ... my wife is miffed ... and I'm dead tired.   BFD.   In a coupla-3 hours I'm gonna get up, pack up, and get on my way. I made my batch of spring rolls. They're bigger than I would optimally like, but so what. I'm gonna hit'em with the best "bite-sized" thing I got. I think. LOL. I'm broke, I've got no car insurance and my electric is going off on Monday. Dammitt still ... I'm coming home with a TV show tomorrow.    Good-nite everyone. I'll seeye' when I seeya'. 

OK. I've been home for about an hour.                 That should tell you how things went. 

My "WOW" dish looked like cat-food on a paper plate.     And not even good cat-food.   I listened to the "phone people" and made a "1-bite" amuse bouche dish.  STUPID.   Everyone had full plated stuff ... on nice plates. At least I brought good quality "Chinette" paper plates.   It really didn't matter so much because some of the other people that were sent home, some really good chefs, had some really nice stuff. They were looking for specific "types", which I guess is OK. That's understandable, ... as long as you're not a big naive sissy pansy cry-baby like me.      Anyway, I'm gonna sulk around sommore today, them I'm going to the nearest shelter by my house and cook some 3***  eats for some people important to me. 

Thank you all for your good thoughts and having an interest.  You're important to me too. 

OK. I've gotten past sulking.      I'm now into laughing at myself. 

Hey thanks. Let me tell you though ... this IS a time to laugh AT me. It was brutal. I sucked like a nuclear vacuum cleaner.    Compared to every other dish I could see, mine would be left alone untouched by even the flies after everything else was cleaned up. The only chance I had was if everyone else involved was blind. I was so far off the reservation in comparison that I would need a road-map to even find a garbage can.   * If you didn't have to look at it though, I am sure that it tasted good, even though the guy tasting the dishes ripped it apart w/ a fork and only touched some, not all, of the guts to the dish. He didn't touch either sauce. The lemons looked like blackened yellow fish bait.  I might have had at least a snowflake's chance if he ate it properly.    It was though, a very hot day (not good for snowflakes). 

Now as for the sauces ... someone asked before but I can't find who? (Joey?)    Sauce #1 is simple. Maybe 2-3 ounces of apple cider vinegar; maybe a tablespoon of hoisin sauce; maybe a teaspoon of chili oil; maybe a half-teaspoon of sesame oil; and a healthy glob of x-chunky peanut butter. All in a saucepan; heated until smooth and mixed. Add a little more vinegar if you went heavy on the PB. Adjust the other ingredients for your taste. Sauce #2 is simpler yet. A 50/50 blended mix of wasabi paste and Green Goddess salad dressing. Don't balk. It works. People like it. Don't ask why, I don't know, I don't talk about it either.