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Eating in private vs. public

post #1 of 75
Thread Starter 

The knock out spuds thread got me thinking about the act of eating in public and how it differs from how and what you would eat in private.  This might be an issue of interest only to women since we're the ones who notoriously order salads on first dates and wouldn't get caught eating certain foods in public because we're too embarrassed, self conscious or whatever. 

 

For example, in public I single dip daintily.  At home I double dip in front of my husband.  In private I overdip and scoop with my fingers lol. 

In public I'd never eat tacos, way too messy. 

In public I eat my mashed potatoes as they come, usually with a spoonful of gravy draped on it.  In private I swirl those spuds up and add an extra pat of butter... or two.

"You are what you eat, so don't be fast, cheap, easy, or fake."

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"You are what you eat, so don't be fast, cheap, easy, or fake."

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post #2 of 75

I'm not a woman......but the only thing I eat in public the same way I eat at home is pizza. Pizza has to be eaten with the hands and one has to live with the resultant mess (if you're really hungry).

post #3 of 75

I have no problem eating spaghetti , taco's in public nor pizza.

 

Oh KK, never be shy with your spuds.....wherever you are, load em' up, dress them up....one thing about the humble potato, it loves to be jazzed up  with all kinds of good stuff.

 

And what about those finger licking ribs ?

 

 

 

Petals.

 

ps. if your in a rib joint or any other place mentioned above, we are expected to eat that type of food in whichever manner it needs to be eaten.

      Lobster cracked open in a restaurant ? Pass my bib and garlic butter for dipping please.....biggrin.gif

Petals
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Petals
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post #4 of 75

In my opinion, the worst form of snobbism is to represent one person in public and be another person in private. 

Gebbe Got uns allen, uns Trinkern, einen so leichen und schönen Tod. Joseph Roth.
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Gebbe Got uns allen, uns Trinkern, einen so leichen und schönen Tod. Joseph Roth.
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post #5 of 75
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by ordo View Post

In my opinion, the worst form of snobbism is to represent one person in public and be another person in private. 

 

Wow, now that's a bit harsh.  This is not about being a snob, it's more about being ladylike and dainty.  If I'm at a bbq and everyone is eating ribs then I indulge.  But if I'm at a random restaurant and everyone has ordered grilled salmon with steamed asparagus then no way am I ordering the ribs.  It's too gluttonous.  Snobbism isn't even a word.

 

Also, I have far too many vegetarian or vegan friends, and they're super skinny.  I always feel a bit odd if I were to chow down with them. 

 

This reminds me, I was once at an italian restaurant with several Japanese friends, we were a large group and the restaurant served the meals family-style.  We got a large platter of calamari and it was sitting in the middle of the table.  Nobody was reaching for it so eventually I began by lifting it up and scooping some calamari onto my plate.  It was not really scooping, I kind of pushed the calamari off the platter and on to my plate.  My friends were horrified, they said that was extremely rude in Japanese culture.  Still I can't figure out why but I sure felt like an idiot.

"You are what you eat, so don't be fast, cheap, easy, or fake."

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"You are what you eat, so don't be fast, cheap, easy, or fake."

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post #6 of 75

It's not 1940, eat what you like, when you like. Eat what you want, when you want, life is too short. 

 

If you have vegan friends(who cares if they are skinny, or not) and you are out to eat, do they expect you to eat what they eat? Are you a vegan, or vegetarian? If they are your FRIENDS, they shouldn't care what YOU decide to eat. They made a CHOICE to be vegetarian/Vegan, you are an omnivore by design. 

 

As far as cultural boundaries, that is a whole other thread. If you are at an Italian place, in the states, with Japanese friends, then THEY are the ones that should do the whole "when in Rome" thing. . .you aren't/weren't in Japan. Now, if you were all at a Sushi Bar, that may have been different, but that wasn't the case.

 

That all said: That KFC Mashed Potato Bowl, with the chicken, gravy, cheese and bacon. . . I would eat it, if it were in public, it would be in a dark corner, lol. But damn, I wanna try one of those things for some reason. It sounds great, fundamentally.

~If you are what you eat, I am cheap, fast, and easy.

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~If you are what you eat, I am cheap, fast, and easy.

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post #7 of 75

I get it Miss KK,

some folks don't want to eat AT ALL in public

For any number of reasons...

Some folks won't eat certain foods in public

For any number of reasons...

That's just how some folks are.

I find that perfectly okey-dokey in my book.

 

Mister k~girl doesn't like to eat 'messy stuff' in public, nothing that requires being picked up in your hands... ribs, fried chicken, that sort.

 

Me?  Well, if I like it, I eat it!  with abandon! 

Years back, I took my Mother to NYC and we had a blast touring and eating.  There was one restaurant in particular (very high brow) that I HAD to go to.  The dish that I ordered was so out-of-this-world-delicious. I had never been happier about a plate of food before. I was sitting there with the biggest smile on my face, humming to myself... I kinda' do this little wiggle action in my chair, almost dancing like, if you know what I mean?

well, the gal at the next table said, 'excuss me, but what are you eating that is that good?'

I have no shame!

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A Hui Hou (until we met), ALOHA!

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post #8 of 75

KK - that scene sounds a little familiar - what was that movie called?  Harry meet Sally or something? with the famous line  "I'll take whatever she's having"

 

Ordo, If you think being one way in public and another way in private is snobby then i presume you have no problem shall we say cleaning your nose, scratching private places, passing wind and doing a number of other things we generally reserve to do in private, and if not, remind me not to have dinner with you! 

IN any case shame is a very powerful emotion, and for whatever reason, people can have been shamed by others often enough even for the most normal things, for them to feel terribly self-conscious. 

 

Plus, i doubt you're the same with your boss, your kids, your spouse or a complete stranger at the store. 

 

I'll avoid eating desert with my diabetic friend, because it seems cruel - it;s not her choice not to eat sugar, but a necessity, but will eat desert with any number of skinny "oh-i-never-eat-deserts" people..  In fact I will shamelessly eat pretty much anything in public, though i do refrain from physically licking the plate except at home with close family smile.gif

"Siduri said, 'Gilgamesh, where are you roaming? You will never find the eternal life that you seek...Savour your food, make each of your days a delight, ... let music and dancing fill your house, love the child who holds you by the hand and give your wife pleasure in your embrace.'"
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"Siduri said, 'Gilgamesh, where are you roaming? You will never find the eternal life that you seek...Savour your food, make each of your days a delight, ... let music and dancing fill your house, love the child who holds you by the hand and give your wife pleasure in your embrace.'"
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post #9 of 75
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by siduri View Post
 In fact I will shamelessly eat pretty much anything in public, though i do refrain from physically licking the plate except at home with close family ...smile.gif

peace.gif

"You are what you eat, so don't be fast, cheap, easy, or fake."

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"You are what you eat, so don't be fast, cheap, easy, or fake."

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post #10 of 75
Quote:
Originally Posted by Koukouvagia View Post

 

Wow, now that's a bit harsh.  This is not about being a snob, it's more about being ladylike and dainty.  If I'm at a bbq and everyone is eating ribs then I indulge.  But if I'm at a random restaurant and everyone has ordered grilled salmon with steamed asparagus then no way am I ordering the ribs.  It's too gluttonous.  Snobbism isn't even a word.

 

 

 

I was a little bit harsh, sorry, but I so hate protocols and etiquettes! 

Gebbe Got uns allen, uns Trinkern, einen so leichen und schönen Tod. Joseph Roth.
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Gebbe Got uns allen, uns Trinkern, einen so leichen und schönen Tod. Joseph Roth.
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post #11 of 75
Quote:
I was once at an italian restaurant with several Japanese friends, we were a large group and the restaurant served the meals family-style.  We got a large platter of calamari and it was sitting in the middle of the table.  Nobody was reaching for it so eventually I began by lifting it up and scooping some calamari onto my plate.  It was not really scooping, I kind of pushed the calamari off the platter and on to my plate.  My friends were horrified, they said that was extremely rude in Japanese culture. 

What were you supposed to have done? Let the calamari go cold (yeaccchhhh!) and no one eat it? Call a waiter over to serve?

Maybe offer to serve some of your companions some of the calamari first?

 

Heck, enlighten your companions to the old saying-"When in Rome, do as Romans do."

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post #12 of 75
Quote:
Originally Posted by siduri View Post

..  In fact I will shamelessly eat pretty much anything in public, though i do refrain from physically licking the plate except at home with close family smile.gif

 

smiles.gif  

... now that IS one thing that I do only when I am totally alone, not even my husband around!  I guess I do have that one point of shame

from ...

My kitchen in the middle of the desert

A Hui Hou (until we met), ALOHA!

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from ...

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post #13 of 75
Thread Starter 

This topic has a lot of facets.  Eating in public vs. private differs in every person I think.  It all depends on what you're eating, who you're eating it with, and how self conscious you feel.  It's a broad question that may factor in how you feel, and what expectations there are at the table.  What would you order if you were dining with President Obama?  You can insist that you'd be yourself no matter where you are but I guarantee nobody would be licking their fingers and eating ribs unless he was doing so as well.  I don't keep company with presidents often but women do tend to be more sensitive about eating around others than men, we're always on diets and pretending to hate food lol.  I went to a sushi restaurant a couple of months ago with a friend and she was low-carbing and low-sodiuming so she opted for a couple of pieces of sashimi, a miso soup and some salad.  My usual fare is an avocado roll, and 2-3 pieces of sushi which I did not alter to fit with my more calorie conscious friend but I did go along with the low-sodium soy sauce.... even though I really wanted the salty stuff hehe. 

 

Another thing that women do is to almost always seem to leave a little bit on their plate and not eat everything.  I do this too most of the time, ingrained behavior that my Mom taught me.  And then once we leave the restaurant it is customary to say "oh my gosh, I am STUFFED, I can hardly walk!" even if you really aren't stuffed.  And sometimes we even say "I can't believe how much I ate, I'm not eating anything tomorrow" or "I am always so bad when we go out to eat together lol" or "diet starts tomorrow."  I don't think guys act this way around each other but girls do, girls of my age anyway where a lot of my friends are still single and looking for love.

 

There is a lot of pressure on women to look and act a certain way and of course the issue of eating will be affected.  Men on the other hand can eat as much as they want and never feel a pang of guilt about it and still look at themselves in the mirror and say "I am spectacular!"  It's not fair, it is what it is and we're mostly used to it.  We're at the end of fashion week here in NY and walking around Lincoln Center these days can be brutal on a woman's self esteem with tall gazelle-type models everywhere.  Thank goodness it's over.

"You are what you eat, so don't be fast, cheap, easy, or fake."

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"You are what you eat, so don't be fast, cheap, easy, or fake."

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post #14 of 75

It can only be brutal on ones self esteem, if you let it. If you are comfortable with yourself, happy with yourself, then personally what does it matter what passers by think of you? Are they life decision makers in your life, or people that really matter at the end of the day?

 

I understand the many facets, for sure, and there is a time and a place for everything, but it's lunch and dinner, not life and death.

~If you are what you eat, I am cheap, fast, and easy.

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~If you are what you eat, I am cheap, fast, and easy.

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post #15 of 75
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by 808JONO202 View Post
...

I understand the many facets, for sure, and there is a time and a place for everything, but it's lunch and dinner, not life and death.

 

None of the topics discussed on cheftalk are life or death.  But we still discuss them anyway.

"You are what you eat, so don't be fast, cheap, easy, or fake."

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"You are what you eat, so don't be fast, cheap, easy, or fake."

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post #16 of 75

i had dinner with a girlfriend last night...we both had mediterranean salads and also shared a big bowl of french fries(house made, skin on, salt)....it was perfect!!   as for leaving something on the plate, i do..... i leave my fork!  maybe here in colorado where the air is clean and clear we just have healthier appetites and are not afraid to eat what we order and to clean our plates, not just play with our food, or pretend to eat...at least in my circle of ya ya's we do....as an aside, in my restaurant i see the plates come back and the women's plates come back just as clean as the menfolk...also out west here, the women order dessert and eat it too.....gotta love it! wink.gif

joey


Edited by durangojo - 9/13/12 at 7:50am

food is like love...it should be entered into with abandon or not at all        Harriet Van Horne

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food is like love...it should be entered into with abandon or not at all        Harriet Van Horne

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post #17 of 75

I think you hit it on the head Miss KK.

Emotions are a very powerful thing.

Shame, guilt, self-worth, ridicule, pass experiences, we could go on til the Moon turns to cheese (mmm, cheese, I love cheese).

If I were to have a meal with a famous person, I'm not sure that I would be able to eat anything, mainly because I'd be talking WAY too much...

Me, I guess I'm of a different cut of cloth.

I like food, the only things that I don't eat are things that I'm allergic to.

(or don't care for)  If I'm not hungry, I don't eat, that bugs my husband to no end.  My Mother tried to get both my Sister and I into the 'clean you plate club' and I never bought it.  (but she guilt's me into other avenues).

from ...

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A Hui Hou (until we met), ALOHA!

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post #18 of 75
Quote:
Originally Posted by Koukouvagia View Post

 

None of the topics discussed on cheftalk are life or death.  But we still discuss them anyway.

As am well aware. . . just saying, lighten up a bit. We only go around on this rock oncesmile.gif

 

Food is one of those things where say you don't drink, you don't do drugs, you don't have a vice of ANY KIND, food is one of the things in life that WE can ALL enjoy, we can ALL learn from, and the worst thing(besides a crazy allergic reaction)that happens, is we spit it out, and know not to do that again(me: balut, durian, I don't care for the texture of mushrooms though the flavor of some is OK, or OJ with pulp). Food can be that passion, that "vice", and you should live to eat sometimes, while I know most eat to live.

 

When I had gotten off chemo, it was a good 3 or 4 months before I had an appetite. My first REAL craving, and my "OMG I WANT FOOD, AND I WANT IT NOW" was for 5 Guys Burgers and Fries(really healthy, but I could give a crap less after dealing with the "Big C"). Looking back, I must have looked like a person that had never eaten before, or Like Nick Nolte in Down and Out In Beverly Hills when he is trying to teach the dog how to eat. . .I guess there are just certain things for everyone that sculpt their social behavior, if my Mother were there, I am SURE I may have been a bit more reserved.

 

As I said, I  know there is a time and a place for everything, but I certainly wouldn't let the thought of some stranger seeing me eat what I want determine if/when/what/where I am going to eat. Food is too great to let others dictate how you deal. Food is the one thing we all have in common that brings us together. Would you eat/have you eaten, Ethiopian where everything is with the hands, and is a messy deal? Same with a lot of Arab, and Persian places.


Edited by 808JONO202 - 9/13/12 at 1:39pm

~If you are what you eat, I am cheap, fast, and easy.

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~If you are what you eat, I am cheap, fast, and easy.

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post #19 of 75
Quote:
Originally Posted by 808JONO202 View Post

... we spit it out, and know not to do that again(me: balut ...

OH MY GOD!!

I was just thinking about balut this morning, looking at unusual foods and balut was brought up...

MAN!!  I can't even look at that without wanting hurl!

I know that it's really good to some, but oh man! 

from ...

My kitchen in the middle of the desert

A Hui Hou (until we met), ALOHA!

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from ...

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post #20 of 75
Quote:
Originally Posted by kaneohegirlinaz View Post

 

smiles.gif  

... now that IS one thing that I do only when I am totally alone, not even my husband around!  I guess I do have that one point of shame

 

 

 

This lady says nothing about licking the plate, so it must be admitted.
 
 
I swear i was expecting a fat man in underwear, with a five days beard sipping a can of beer appearing back in the living room, but it didn't happened. Pitty.
Gebbe Got uns allen, uns Trinkern, einen so leichen und schönen Tod. Joseph Roth.
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Gebbe Got uns allen, uns Trinkern, einen so leichen und schönen Tod. Joseph Roth.
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post #21 of 75
Quote:
Originally Posted by kaneohegirlinaz View Post

OH MY GOD!!

I was just thinking about balut this morning, looking at unusual foods and balut was brought up...

MAN!!  I can't even look at that without wanting hurl!

I know that it's really good to some, but oh man! 

lol, the flavor was that of a rich egg, but it's the texture. . .and I am a BIG texture person. 

 

This was while living on O'ahu mind you, I have a buddy that lives in Pampanga, owns a tilapia farm, was visiting from the Philippines. I had know of balut for virtually my whole culinary career. . .lil ole Ron and I get to some afternoon brews, we talk food(Every Filipino I have ever known can cook amazingly, him included)and balut comes up. . . he's like, "C'mon brudda, good for you, GOOD FOR BOOM BOOM, balut snack, salt, beer, balut, Life is good". . .Yeah, not for me! I got a hefty bite into it, chewed, and wasn't quite sure what to do with it after that, lol, like giving a kid a raw oyster. 

 

I am glad I tried it, but it is NOT something I would ever go out of my way to eat again.

OH, Add the stinky tofu, to my list too! 

~If you are what you eat, I am cheap, fast, and easy.

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~If you are what you eat, I am cheap, fast, and easy.

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post #22 of 75
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by kaneohegirlinaz View Post

I think you hit it on the head Miss KK.

Emotions are a very powerful thing.

 

 

.... If I'm not hungry, I don't eat, that bugs my husband to no end.  My Mother tried to get both my Sister and I into the 'clean you plate club' and I never bought it.  (but she guilt's me into other avenues).

 

Emotions combined with social settings can bring up a lot of anxiety in people.  My posts make it seem like I don't eat in front of people, not true.  I never ordered salads on dates or apologized for what I was eating.  However, if I find myself outside of my comfort zone or in a social setting that makes me feel "different" from the others then it makes me hyper aware of the dining experience.  I know women that don't eat ANYTHING in front of people.  I was knew a girl in college that refused to look at her food as she ate it.  It was disturbing and a bit messy but I guess that was her way of dealing with an uncomfortable situation.

 

My husband is like that, he will not put a single thing in his mouth when he is not hungry.  Looks at me like I'm crazy if I try to get him to taste something.  I wish I could do that, in my mind there's always room for a little more hehe :)  Terrible habit really.

 

I gotta say, being around people who clean their plate is unnerving.  I was taught to always leave a little bit.  Part of it is to be ladylike but more practically I want to be the one who decides when I'm finished eating, I don't want the lack of food to be the reason for it.  The road to becoming a healthier person is made of many tiny steps like stop putting sugar in your coffee (done), stop drinking sodas (done), walk to the market every day for fresh produce (done), don't bring cookies into the house (trying), and not finishing everything on a plate is just one of those steps for me (done).

"You are what you eat, so don't be fast, cheap, easy, or fake."

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"You are what you eat, so don't be fast, cheap, easy, or fake."

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post #23 of 75
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by 808JONO202 View Post

...

 

When I had gotten off chemo, it was a good 3 or 4 months before I had an appetite. My first REAL craving, and my "OMG I WANT FOOD, AND I WANT IT NOW" was for 5 Guys Burgers and Fries(really healthy, but I could give a crap less after dealing with the "Big C"). Looking back, I must have looked like a person that had never eaten before, or Like Nick Nolte in Down and Out In Beverly Hills when he is trying to teach the dog how to eat. . .I guess there are just certain things for everyone that sculpt their social behavior, if my Mother were there, I am SURE I may have been a bit more reserved.

 

...

 

Yea I guess when you go through such an ordeal you don't come out the other side craving a salad with the dressing on the side haha!.  Thanks for sharing.

"You are what you eat, so don't be fast, cheap, easy, or fake."

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"You are what you eat, so don't be fast, cheap, easy, or fake."

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post #24 of 75

To get a good variety of this topic, all one needs to do is visit any buffet. People's eating habits are on display for all to see.

post #25 of 75

I have no shame. I'll eat the messy foods, order the veal ossobucco or rare steak in front of vegetarian friends...

post #26 of 75
Quote:
Originally Posted by Koukouvagia View Post

 

Emotions combined with social settings can bring up a lot of anxiety in people.  My posts make it seem like I don't eat in front of people, not true.  I never ordered salads on dates or apologized for what I was eating.  However, if I find myself outside of my comfort zone or in a social setting that makes me feel "different" from the others then it makes me hyper aware of the dining experience.  I know women that don't eat ANYTHING in front of people.  I was knew a girl in college that refused to look at her food as she ate it.  It was disturbing and a bit messy but I guess that was her way of dealing with an uncomfortable situation.

 

My husband is like that, he will not put a single thing in his mouth when he is not hungry.  Looks at me like I'm crazy if I try to get him to taste something.  I wish I could do that, in my mind there's always room for a little more hehe :)  Terrible habit really.

 

I gotta say, being around people who clean their plate is unnerving.  I was taught to always leave a little bit.  Part of it is to be ladylike but more practically I want to be the one who decides when I'm finished eating, I don't want the lack of food to be the reason for it.  The road to becoming a healthier person is made of many tiny steps like stop putting sugar in your coffee (done), stop drinking sodas (done), walk to the market every day for fresh produce (done), don't bring cookies into the house (trying), and not finishing everything on a plate is just one of those steps for me (done).

kk, while i don't disagree with your post, it does bring up  some questions in my mind...why is it unladlylike to not leave something on your plate? who made that rule up, a man, so that they can finish your plate as well as their own?wink.gif... what makes it unladylike? why is someone cleaning their plate disturbing or mean anything other or deeper than someone who is thoroughly enjoying their food?  what or how does that dictate anything?  seems to me that always being pressured into leaving  a 'little something' on your plate is even more dictating and  more disturbing.....sorry about all the questions....i'm really not trying to be a smartass here, just comes naturally i guess....

perhaps back in the day when the 'piggy portion' reigned as king yes, but nowadays with food portion/plate sizes coming into line, it may not apply. also, what you eat comes into play here..what about a bowl of pho or a hot dog or a spring roll....do you have to leave something then too?rolleyes.gif...  at home i don't start with large portions. i know my husband eats more than i do so i put less on my plate to begin with...even then i still don't usually eat it all but if i am thoroughly enjoying something i eat it wihout the worry or guilt of having to leave something on my plate. i grew up poor, as i'm sure that factors in somewhere...i was taught manners for sure  but i also cleaned my plate(for sure)! .... if i'm out i hardly ever order an entree..usually just an app and a salad... only because i just don't eat like that to begin with...

finally though,isn't one of the reasons we all eating in the first place is because we are hungry?......bon appetit!

joey

ps.  lucy's right...everything should be 5 cents!  wink.gif


Edited by durangojo - 9/14/12 at 8:26pm

food is like love...it should be entered into with abandon or not at all        Harriet Van Horne

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food is like love...it should be entered into with abandon or not at all        Harriet Van Horne

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post #27 of 75
Quote:
Originally Posted by durangojo View Post

kk, while i don't disagree with your post, it does bring up questions in my mind...why is is unladlylike to not leave something on your plate? who made that rule up, a man? what makes it unladylike? why is someone cleaning their plate disturbing  or mean anything other or deeper than someone who is thoroughly enjoying their food? what does that dictate? seems to  me that always being pressured into leaving something on your plate is more dictating and disturbing.....sorry about all the questions....

Durangojo, this is a typical problem that comes from applying a rule rather than understanding it.  People must have taught the "rule" rather than the spirit behind it. 

 

Leaving something on your plate is considered polite (not ladylike specifically, but polite, for men and women) because it means your host/hostess provided enough food and you aren't going hungry from their table.  In italy they even had a name for the bit of food you leave, the "creanza" - not sure of it's origin or literal meaning if any. 

At the same time the host/hostess is supposed to insist you eat more and offer you more helpings (i get this all the time - i eat a lot but i eat fast, so often people don;t realize i already ate a ton of food and insist i hadn't eaten anything). 

 

Another rule in italy, is that meat and other expensive courses must be eaten with bread (they are "companatico" - bread accompainers.  You eat them with bread so you don't fill up on the expensive stuff. 

 

Like all "rules" of politeness, they are not intended to make someone feel bad, in fact they are intended specifically NOT to make someone feel bad.  If you have put together a quick meal for me, your guest, and maybe you invited me at the last minute and had to water the stew, or maybe you just planned badly and there wasn;t enough, i will not make you feel bad by finishing every last crumb on the plate, so you can feel guilty about not having any more to offer me!  "it was wonderful but i'm stuffed - see?  i couldn't even finish")

"Siduri said, 'Gilgamesh, where are you roaming? You will never find the eternal life that you seek...Savour your food, make each of your days a delight, ... let music and dancing fill your house, love the child who holds you by the hand and give your wife pleasure in your embrace.'"
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"Siduri said, 'Gilgamesh, where are you roaming? You will never find the eternal life that you seek...Savour your food, make each of your days a delight, ... let music and dancing fill your house, love the child who holds you by the hand and give your wife pleasure in your embrace.'"
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post #28 of 75
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by durangojo View Post

kk, while i don't disagree with your post, it does bring up  some questions in my mind...why is it unladlylike to not leave something on your plate? who made that rule up, a man, so that they can finish your plate as well as their own?wink.gif... what makes it unladylike? why is someone cleaning their plate disturbing or mean anything other or deeper than someone who is thoroughly enjoying their food?  what or how does that dictate anything?  seems to me that always being pressured into leaving  a 'little something' on your plate is even more dictating and  more disturbing.....sorry about all the questions....i'm really not trying to be a smartass here, just comes naturally i guess....

...

 

 

...perhaps back in the day when the 'piggy portion' reigned as king yes, but nowadays with food portion/plate sizes coming into line, it may not apply. also, what you eat comes into play here..what about a bowl of pho or a hot dog or a spring roll....do you have to leave something then too?rolleyes.gif...  at home i don't start with large portions. i know my husband eats more than i do so i put less on my plate to begin with...even then i still don't usually eat it all but if i am thoroughly enjoying something i eat it wihout the worry or guilt of having to leave something on my plate. i grew up poor, as i'm sure that factors in somewhere...i was taught manners for sure  but i also cleaned my plate(for sure)! .... if i'm out i hardly ever order an entree..usually just an app and a salad... only because i just don't eat like that to begin with...

finally though,isn't one of the reasons we all eating in the first place is because we are hungry?......bon appetit!

joey

ps.  lucy's right...everything should be 5 cents!  wink.gif

 

Good questions.  It's hard to remember all the answers because it's become such a habit now that you tend to forget why you do certain things in the first place.  I've always had a bit of a weight problem.  Nothing severe or dangerous, but always a bit plumper above the norm.  Thankfully I love exercise as much as I love food.  My Mother has always been skinny, like tiny skinny.  Like still-rocks-a-bikini-eventhough-she's-a-grandmother skinny and she probably has always wanted a skinny daughter with whom to share clothes.  No such luck with me hehe.  She has lots of rules while eating, mostly very healthy rules about not eating after a certain time or like if she eats a big meal today she eats light tomorrow, healthy stuff like that.  Meanwhile I was the type of kid that would slice the fat off the pork chop and discard the meat :) and she would intervene, rightly so!  When it came to cleaning the plate she always thought that doing it makes you look ravenous, like if there'd been more you'd lick that up too.  She used to say that the amount of food on the plate does not dictate how hungry you are, and a healthy person should always leave room for more, not get stuffed to the gills.  Somewhat along the lines of what Siduri says.  Greeks also like to eat meze, which means tapas, when they are with company.  Usually on every platter at the end of the evening you'll see one item of food left.  One meatball, one shrimp, one piece of bread, one tomato from a salad.  The item on the platter has a name which roughly translates to "the shameful bit," and implies that the person who reaches for it should be ashamed.  Everyone refuses the last bit.  I don't know why but again it's probably like what Siduri said, nobody wants to come across as insatiable.  The conversation at the end of the meal always sounds like this "you eat it!" "no I can't, it's impossible, look how much I ate!" "well we can't leave it, it'd be wasteful" "but seriously, I can't have another bite" and so on.

 

When I'm at home I don't feel obliged to leave anything on my plate but usually do out of habit anyway.  I've never had pho.  When I eat a hot dog or any kind of sandwich I leave a bit of the bread.  When I have salad I leave a few cucumbers or some onion.  When I have spaghetti I leave a few noodles.  You'll never hear me slurp the last bit of soup or scrape my fork against the plate, or run a piece of bread along the last bit of sauce.  I don't even want to. 

"You are what you eat, so don't be fast, cheap, easy, or fake."

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"You are what you eat, so don't be fast, cheap, easy, or fake."

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post #29 of 75
Quote:
Originally Posted by Koukouvagia View Post
  The item on the platter has a name which roughly translates to "the shameful bit," and implies that the person who reaches for it should be ashamed.  Everyone refuses the last bit.  I don't know why but again it's probably like what Siduri said, nobody wants to come across as insatiable. 
 

Well, my point was not that nobody wants to come off as insatiable, but that nobody should make the host/ess feel like she didn't do enough food.  It's consideration for her, not something about ourselves being seen badly - there's a difference.  It's about her, not me. 

 

Then what you're talking about also happens (i don;t have that sort of shame, so i will eat all i want and will only worry what it does TO me but nto what others will think OF mesmile.gif) and that may be because weight, eating and all that were a big issue with your mother. 


Edited by siduri - 9/15/12 at 10:01am
"Siduri said, 'Gilgamesh, where are you roaming? You will never find the eternal life that you seek...Savour your food, make each of your days a delight, ... let music and dancing fill your house, love the child who holds you by the hand and give your wife pleasure in your embrace.'"
Reply
"Siduri said, 'Gilgamesh, where are you roaming? You will never find the eternal life that you seek...Savour your food, make each of your days a delight, ... let music and dancing fill your house, love the child who holds you by the hand and give your wife pleasure in your embrace.'"
Reply
post #30 of 75
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by siduri View Post

Well, my point was not that nobody wants to come off as insatiable, but that nobody should make the host/ess feel like she didn't do enough food.  It's consideration for her, not something about ourselves being seen badly - there's a difference.  It's about her, not me. 

 

Then what you're talking about also happens (i don;t have that sort of shame, so i will eat all i want and will only worry what it does TO me but nto what others will think OF mesmile.gif) and that may be because weight, eating and all that were a big issue with your mother. 

 

Sorry, didn't mean to misquote you.  I understand what you mean, maybe it's the same concept only I interpret it as acting insatiable.

 

I think most people say they do whatever they want and blah blah but in essence there are always unspoken rules, etiquette, and momentary circumstances that come into play in situations like these.  I wouldn't say they were a big issue with my mother, she just thought of food as fuel and I think of food as joy.  More food more joy :)  I just put a pastitsio in the oven, can't wait for dinner.

"You are what you eat, so don't be fast, cheap, easy, or fake."

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"You are what you eat, so don't be fast, cheap, easy, or fake."

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