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Most memorable stupid orders you've gotten

post #1 of 123
10/19/12 at 8:18am
Thread Starter 

I did a quick search and didn't see a thread on this, so please forgive me if it's been done. 

 

I thought this subject might be pretty funny... 

 

I'm sure I could come up with quite a few, but two stand out in my mind... 

 

Ridiculously busy kitchen, in the middle of dinner service (super fine dining, but with a bar that also could do 150+ for dinner out of the same kitchen at the same time). The bar puts an order for a burger, split, with two different temps - What server would take this order? I think the server was lucky it was an open kitchen, as the chef on the line may otherwise have actually gotten physically violent.

 

My personal favorite was a banquet order for a Caesar's salad (for a party of about 100 people) that, 20 minutes before plating, was updated saying that the Caesar dressing couldn't have anchovies, garlic, or egg. What do you even say to that? 

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post #2 of 123
10/19/12 at 10:50am

I once had a guy ordering a tomato paste and sliced raw onion sandwich on white.

He did enjoy his sandwich and came back the next day for another one.rollsmile.gif

Every smoker quits smoking sooner or later!

Only the smart ones are doing it while they are still alive.

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post #3 of 123
10/19/12 at 5:19pm

When doing barista work recently someone asked for an Oat Milk Cappuccino. We do soy and almond milk espresso drinks, but Oat Milk?

Why would you even want to drink that. I understand food sensitivities, but oat milk?

 Eeww

www.foodandphoto.com

Liquored up and laquered down,
She's got the biggest hair in town!

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post #4 of 123
10/19/12 at 6:16pm

"What cheeses are in the lasagna?"

"Ricotta, mozzarella, parmesan and cheddar"

"Okay, they'll have the lasagna, but without the cheddar"

 

"I want my steak medium rare, but absolutely no pink or red"

 

"I'm very allergic to garlic, is there any in the special?"

"Yes, there is a little"

"Well, as long as I can't see it I'll be okay. I'll have the special"

Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
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post #5 of 123
10/19/12 at 8:24pm

"Could you cook the steaks well-done please?  Otherwise, it will be too tough for me to eat..."  err.. what?

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post #6 of 123
10/19/12 at 10:36pm

I want the stuffed salmon. I don't like the taste of salmon though, so don't make it taste like salmon.

 

I want scallops cooked super well done but not rubbery.

 

I'll have the hollandaise but I want it boiling hot.

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post #7 of 123
10/20/12 at 5:58pm

I would like a vegan omelet

 

So naturally I cooked the omelet in bacon grease

 

He said it was the best omelet he's ever had

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post #8 of 123
10/21/12 at 12:18am
Quote:
Originally Posted by halecarlton View Post

I would like a vegan omelet

 

So naturally I cooked the omelet in bacon grease

 

He said it was the best omelet he's ever had


hahahaha!

 

One time I had a couple order a steak going Pittsburgh-style medium well. (For those of you who don't know what that means, you heat a pan extremely hot and put the steak on it on each side long enough to sear a crust while the inside remains raw.) Apparently they didn't know what it meant either but argued that they did. They were food experts as they say.

 

In one of our old risotto dishes, the beets would turn the whole thing neon pink. Well, some guy requested that he didn't want his meal pink because he is a real man. The server told me it was said in a very disrespectful way toward the kitchen. I kept the beets out and put a drop of blue food coloring in it representing that he is a man hence the color blue. The look on the servers face was priceless when she took it from the window. I said, ''Just take it. If there's a complaint, I'll make him a normal one without beets and it will be white.'' The guy who ordered it nearly died of laughter at the table. He was a grouchy regular who treated our staff like crap, but after that he never had special requests or complaints. So then the server started writing in blue risotto after that and it left everyone confused who would be on the line cooking. The server is an older women who is worn out and she just asks, ''Can you make it blue again?'' Everyone thinks she is losing her mind.

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post #9 of 123
10/22/12 at 4:53pm

We do a burger  with all our prime beef trimmings for happy hour on mondays.  Got a ticket for a split burger with two different temps last week.

 

 

 

 

Also had a woman ask to sub pasta for rice on her gluten free entree.

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post #10 of 123
10/23/12 at 4:58pm

i had a catering order today that stated vegetable wellington with a side of vegetables....what, really...okay

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post #11 of 123
10/29/12 at 6:20pm

My place has a peanut butter, cranberry sauce, granny smith apple, and banana sandwich on the menu... This guy orders it every single day, adding sprouts and pickles to it frown.gif

If that's not horrible enough, another guy orders the same sandwich with tomatoes and mushrooms.  Blech!

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post #12 of 123
10/31/12 at 10:44pm
We regularly have guests send back vegetables because they are not soft enough for their false teeth. We also got a complaint about Romaine being too crunchy.
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post #13 of 123
10/31/12 at 11:28pm

just this tells me ...

 

 

Quote:

 

they are not soft enough for their false teeth.

 

that I should ignore the rest of your posts...

 

... welcome by the way.

 

  o.0

----

 


"Plus, this method makes you look like a complete lunatic. If you care about that sort of thing".  - Dave Arnold

 

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post #14 of 123
10/31/12 at 11:42pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by billpitcher View Post

We regularly have guests send back vegetables because they are not soft enough for their false teeth. We also got a complaint about Romaine being too crunchy.

Just a tip:

 

When your guests are regularly sending things back;

you are 'regularly' sending things out wrongly to the paying clientele that keeps you employed.

 

Good Luck With That!

----

 


"Plus, this method makes you look like a complete lunatic. If you care about that sort of thing".  - Dave Arnold

 

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post #15 of 123
11/1/12 at 12:09am

True but...how do you "uncrunch" a fresh Ceasar? I mean really! lol.gif

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post #16 of 123
11/1/12 at 2:40am

My all-time classics (some of them I have posted here years ago but why not re-post them for those that missed it)

 

- Ny Strip Steak, no mashed potatoes, sub extra steak (wanted to smack the server that took this order)

- Obligatory split burger cooked to different temperatures with different cheeses and different sides

- Obligatory order for medium-well to well or any other hybrid doneness

- Obligatory order for something to be split 3+ ways

- Obligatory order for salad with every single individual ingredient on the side

- Order for burger with cheese on the side... melted. "So you want me to melt the cheese on a plate?" "Yes"

- Tuna Tartar with well done tuna

- Shrimp Cocktail sent back. The complaint, "It's cold"

- Lamb Chops ordered "Extra Well" done. Sent back to me because it was "overcooked"

- Lamb Chops ordered well done. Sent back to me because each individual chop needed to be charred completely on both sides

- Order for raw steak (meaning taken right out of the cooler and thrown on a plate) with a side of avocado and sliced tomato

- Order for well done burger. Not unusual, but the guest told the server "My doctor told me I can't have any red meat" and was dead serious

- Vegetarian pasta ordered. I asked what kind of vegetables the guest wanted in the pasta and the response was "whatever". Pasta sent back 3 times because the guest wanted a specific veggie (asparagus, mushrooms, etc) added to the pasta each time

- Turkey breast sandwich made with heirloom tomatoes. Guest is infuriated and 100% convinced that I served him a rotten tomato even after the manager explained what an heirloom tomato was.

- Guest orders pasta with side of butter. Complains and throws a total storm because the butter is melted "too much"..

- French Onion Soup, no onions

- Guest orders steak well done. Asks for A-1 sauce and instructs server to apologize to me for "ruining the steak by adding steak sauce to it" *shrug*

- "So your french onion soup is not vegetarian?" "No, it isn't, it is made with beef/veal stock" "THAT IS SO STUPID, WHO DOES THIS??? WHY DO YOU GUYS DO THIS???"

 

I'm sure I have a few more lying around in the suppressed 9th circle of my mind that I promised myself I would forget. Will post if I can remember them.

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post #17 of 123
11/1/12 at 6:32am
Quote:
Originally Posted by MichaelGA View Post

Just a tip:

When your guests are regularly sending things back;
you are 'regularly' sending things out wrongly to the paying clientele that keeps you employed.

Good Luck With That!

Wow, thanks for warm welcome.

I didn't mean that everyone does it. Im just amused on a regular basis by a very small handful of depression-era summer regulars at our conference center who grew up on canned vegetables and care not at all that we now serve local, fresh vegetables, not canned carrots, in our buffet or banquet setting during the prime season.

They regularly take me aside to tell me they would prefer overlooked broccoli, soft green beans, mashed potatoes instead of roasted, etc. I was asked why we don't serve "regular bread" in a bread basket that rotates like 12 things during the summer. I have been asked to rinse lasagna in the sink. And yes, I have been told my lettuce is too crunchy.

I could dumb everything down, gearing my 500 plates a day to the lowest common denominator, serving canned spinach on Wonder Bread. Or I could do what we have been doing and continue to add 15 percent more guests a year. The mushy vegetable club will be here either way.

But hey, thanks for the tip.
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post #18 of 123
11/1/12 at 7:08pm

Today's special was sirloin a la plancha and a customer asked my wife if we could make it vegetarian... :)

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post #19 of 123
11/2/12 at 12:47am
Quote:
Originally Posted by RAS1187 View Post

My all-time classics (some of them I have posted here years ago but why not re-post them for those that missed it)


- Order for well done burger. Not unusual, but the guest told the server "My doctor told me I can't have any red meat" and was dead serious

 

I literally laughed out loud. Priceless.

 

Server once told me that the guy was allergic to beurre blanc, wanted hollandaise instead.

I start making a hollandaise (in middle of dinner rush) in a pan and.... hey, wait a sec here....  he's allergic to.... what, butter?

Gahhhh!!! Server lied to me!

 

 

Quote:
Originally Posted by billpitcher View Post

We regularly have guests send back vegetables because they are not soft enough for their false teeth. We also got a complaint about Romaine being too crunchy.


These are hilarious, but I'll share one that's relative Romainely:

Customer just had dental work done but wanted a Caesar salad... puréed.

Worst pesto ever! Served it anyway.

 

Also:

Server: "What kind of meat is in the meatloaf?"

Me: "Beef"

Server (annoyed): "Yes, but what KIND of beef? Cow, pig, chicken, lamb...!?"

Me (confused): ".....Uh, beef?"

 

Also, billpitcher, you don't need to defend yourself. 

Welcome, for reals! smile.gif

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post #20 of 123
11/4/12 at 10:23pm

"Is it white or dark meat in the chicken fried steak?"

"Well, it's kind of dark....it's beef."

"No it's not, it's chicken, why do you think it's called chicken fried steak?"

"Because it's steak...fried like....chicken."

Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
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post #21 of 123
11/5/12 at 8:54am
Quote:
Originally Posted by billpitcher View Post


Wow, thanks for warm welcome.
I didn't mean that everyone does it. Im just amused on a regular basis by a very small handful of depression-era summer regulars at our conference center who grew up on canned vegetables and care not at all that we now serve local, fresh vegetables, not canned carrots, in our buffet or banquet setting during the prime season.
They regularly take me aside to tell me they would prefer overlooked broccoli, soft green beans, mashed potatoes instead of roasted, etc. I was asked why we don't serve "regular bread" in a bread basket that rotates like 12 things during the summer. I have been asked to rinse lasagna in the sink. And yes, I have been told my lettuce is too crunchy.
I could dumb everything down, gearing my 500 plates a day to the lowest common denominator, serving canned spinach on Wonder Bread. Or I could do what we have been doing and continue to add 15 percent more guests a year. The mushy vegetable club will be here either way.
But hey, thanks for the tip.

 

What they were getting at is that you are cooking your vegetables wrong. Veg should be cooked, not overcooked, just cooked. A lot of chefs/cooks have problems with people that try and serve vegetables al dente.

Then again, there are people that want the bejeesus cooked out of their veg, much like some people enjoy well done steak.

/shrug

Apprentichef - Six stitches to go home early and you can't die until your shift is over.

 

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post #22 of 123
11/5/12 at 3:37pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by billpitcher View Post


Wow, thanks for warm welcome.
I didn't mean that everyone does it. Im just amused on a regular basis by a very small handful of depression-era summer regulars at our conference center who grew up on canned vegetables and care not at all that we now serve local, fresh vegetables, not canned carrots, in our buffet or banquet setting during the prime season.
They regularly take me aside to tell me they would prefer overlooked broccoli, soft green beans, mashed potatoes instead of roasted, etc. I was asked why we don't serve "regular bread" in a bread basket that rotates like 12 things during the summer. I have been asked to rinse lasagna in the sink. And yes, I have been told my lettuce is too crunchy.
I could dumb everything down, gearing my 500 plates a day to the lowest common denominator, serving canned spinach on Wonder Bread. Or I could do what we have been doing and continue to add 15 percent more guests a year. The mushy vegetable club will be here either way.
But hey, thanks for the tip.

Take it with a grain of salt. Some people will latch onto words you use and form an opinion in their minds. In this case the word "regularly" stuck out in peoples' minds. Chances are you know what you are doing.

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post #23 of 123
11/5/12 at 7:24pm
Worked at a place one time that had a dish which was pomadoro sauce on linguini with some veg. At least once a week have a server ask me to sub the sauce in the tuscan linguini for pomadoro -_- *shakes head.
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post #24 of 123
11/7/12 at 10:18am
•We offer brown rice as a substitute for white rice for our sushi rolls, and as if that's not already a pain to do (since brown rice isn't sticky enough), we have guests once in a while who order sushi rolls with brown rice, NO NORI. it's such a nightmare having to work with plastic wrap and brown rice only to end up with a mess.
•I've also had guests try to order half brown half white rice, avocado on half the roll, no sriracha on one side. I just shake my head and decline such a stupid request. It's a sushi roll, not a pizza!

• A couple years ago I had to cater for a movie production and one of the stars in the film was rapper Ja Rule. One day I served the cast some baked salmon cooked beautifully. A couple minutes later, Ja Rule came to our little makeshift kitchen and asked me to "throw it [the salmon] on the grill a little bit longer". Keep in mind we did not have a grill with us at the time because our menu for that day didn't require one. I gave him the most blank stare ever and he never figured it out!
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post #25 of 123
11/7/12 at 3:14pm
I have rapper stories that way top that one!
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post #26 of 123
11/7/12 at 5:35pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by chefbuba View Post

I have rapper stories that way top that one!

Give 'em up! 

 

:) 

 

love to hear some of them... just use Mr. XXXX

----

 


"Plus, this method makes you look like a complete lunatic. If you care about that sort of thing".  - Dave Arnold

 

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post #27 of 123
11/7/12 at 9:22pm
Just last week we had a waiter come in and say that a customer wants the Barramundi for her fish and chips "grilled, with no butter or oil" me and me chef just look at each other and shake our heads
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post #28 of 123
11/7/12 at 9:58pm

Puffy, Snoop, Dr Dre, MJ, Janet, janet  ....These are some of the ones that I remember, as far as who did what.......that's stuff that I won't discuss here due to the risk of offending someone, in private with someone that I know, that's a different story.

 

30 days working at night on the Puffy video, he had a big crew of leaches with him, I got into it with one of his "people".......... Biggest disappointment, I didn't get to meet Jimmy Page.

30+ days on Scream, Janet is easy, MJ was the wacky one, confidentiality agreement stated: You will not look Mr Jackson in the eye, he had his own chef, but they were always mooching food off us, had to be in a sealed, original package.

 

We were at Universal Studios spread over 3 or 4 sound stages, the truck was parked right outside one of the stages, next to the line for one of the rides.

MJ had a stand in that looked just like him. The guy came out to get a cup of coffee and got heckled by someone in line, yelling " Effing pedophile"

 

Riders with crap like  The Artist will have available at all times: lime jello, miracle whip & bologna, blue m&m's.... you get the picture.

 

I just wish that I had the wherewith all to have saved stuff like the riders and agreements. Back then, cameras were big, bulky and frowned upon on set so not many photos of all those years.

I got yelled at on a car commercial for shooting a new model year VW with a long lens. Now days, everyone has a camera in their pocket.

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post #29 of 123
11/7/12 at 11:20pm
Quote:
One time I had a couple order a steak going Pittsburgh-style medium well. (For those of you who don't know what that means, you heat a pan extremely hot and put the steak on it on each side long enough to sear a crust while the inside remains raw.) Apparently they didn't know what it meant either but argued that they did. They were food experts as they say. /QUOTE]

I've been getting this one a few times a year for two years now, from someone who " knows about food". Could it be the same person? Maybe we're wrong!

Every time I run a bone-in filet special, somebody has to have it split. First time I got it, cooked the filet cut it off the bone, and split it. Complained that I didn't serve the bone. Next time, I go through all of the steaks and find one with cartilage in the middle so I can cut all the way through. Complained that one half was bigger than the other. Now, I cut it off of the bone, slice it into 8 pieces and serve it fanned out of the bone on one plate, and have the server split it at the table. I the number of times I get this request has since been reduced significantly;-)

Linguine Vongole, " Can I substitute extra clams for the pasta?" NO!
A person who never made a mistake, never tried anything new.  - Al E
Guests, like fish, begin to smell after three days.  - Ben Franklin
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post #30 of 123
11/7/12 at 11:24pm
Steak medium- rare, no blood. In between temps, that stuff drives me insane!
A person who never made a mistake, never tried anything new.  - Al E
Guests, like fish, begin to smell after three days.  - Ben Franklin
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