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Most memorable stupid orders you've gotten - Page 11

post #301 of 336

Chef, chef the guy on table 7 is allergic to salt!

post #302 of 336

Server: "can we make a different seasonal bruschetta for this table she is allergic to mushrooms?"

Mr. cant say no : "yea ill make a steak bruschetta with pesto for her."

Server: "okay"

5 mins later

server:"no she is a vegetarian, can you do a tomato basil?"

Mr.cant say no: "k"

entree comes in

mr cant say no: "what is her entree it says split plate?"

Server:"she is splitting the marsala with her husband, the mushrooms are fine as long as they are cooked"

 

Mushroom bruschetta description was with sauteed mushrooms

 

This was my second night after leaving my last job and it felt like I had made a real bad call choosing this over 3 other restaurants

post #303 of 336
16 oz Porterhouse, burnt. Fathers day; only steak sold that night, won't forget that one.

Filet Mignon, well done. 10 minutes after close ( midnight). First shift at a large hotel.

The things we do.
post #304 of 336
The steak orders annoy me. I cook offshore on ships and oil rigs. I always have to ask them, "Do you want restaurant well-done or offshore well-done?" Offshore well-done means burn the s--t out of it.

And there was one dive superviser that always ordered medium rare and would send it back because there was red in the middle.

And my favorite saying, "Oh, the gravy is salty? Do you know why the gravy is salty? Because it's GRAVY!"
post #305 of 336

I work offshore, and I always have to ask the guys, "Do you want restaurant well-done or offshore well-done?" Offshore well-done means to burn the hell out of it.  And there was one dive supervisor that would always ask for medium rare steak and then send it back because there was pink in the middle. Sigh.

 

And here's my favorite saying. "Oh, the gravy is salty? Do you know why the gravy is salty? Because it's GRAVY!" 

post #306 of 336

A few weeks ago an order comes in: a certain salad, but substitute all the ingredients for others, no dressing, add two strips of bacon on top (WTF?!). The waitress looked really apologetic as she brought the check. I finished banging my head on the chopping board and made the salad, all the while making low-pitched grunting noises. Then I watched the plate being carried to the customer who looked at it carefully, picked every ingredient, sniffed it and put it back on the plate. And all of a sudden I wasn't angry any more - I realised that the lady was suffering from some serious OCD. It must have taken her some effort to even come out and eat food that she didn't cook. How can I be angry with someone who is genuinely unwell? I would make her a plate of her favourite weirdness any day. It was an interesting learning curve.

post #307 of 336
I have had a afternoon tea order who was gluten free but wanted macaroons with it
post #308 of 336
Quote:
Originally Posted by TazP View Post
 

A few weeks ago an order comes in: a certain salad, but substitute all the ingredients for others, no dressing, add two strips of bacon on top (WTF?!). The waitress looked really apologetic as she brought the check. I finished banging my head on the chopping board and made the salad, all the while making low-pitched grunting noises. Then I watched the plate being carried to the customer who looked at it carefully, picked every ingredient, sniffed it and put it back on the plate. And all of a sudden I wasn't angry any more - I realised that the lady was suffering from some serious OCD. It must have taken her some effort to even come out and eat food that she didn't cook. How can I be angry with someone who is genuinely unwell? I would make her a plate of her favourite weirdness any day. It was an interesting learning curve.

 

Good for you.  Sometimes we forget the reason (part of) we are there.

post #309 of 336


Actually, oat milk tastes smooth and creamy

post #310 of 336
Quote:
Originally Posted by ToyDuJour View Post
 

Egg Beaters Sunny Side Up

Chicken Florentine - Pittsburg (Server thought Pittsburg just meant Blackened)

 

I've spent several years at beach side resorts

Crab Legs - no shell

Peel and Eat Shrimp - Peeled.

 

Yeah, I'm totally going to shuck your food for you, want me to chew it too?

Chicken Florentine - Pittsburg   ???? dont know this one?

post #311 of 336
Quote:
Originally Posted by crookymonster View Post

I have had a afternoon tea order who was gluten free but wanted macaroons with it

French macarons are made with almond flour and, to my knowledge, are gluten free.

Italian macaroons are different but still made with egg white and almond...no flour involved.

And coconut macaroons shouldn't have flour in them either, I think they are usually made with condensed milk and egg whites...but I don't remember 100%.

Sounds like you were wrong about this issue, just FYI.
post #312 of 336
We buy them in and the ingredients says it has flour in bold for allergens
post #313 of 336
Quote:
Originally Posted by crookymonster View Post

We buy them in and the ingredients says it has flour in bold for allergens

 

Don't know what to tell ya but @Someday is spot on.

Classic macs have no wheat products at all .

Check with your vendor.

The manufacturer may be swapping in a cheap filler...

 

mimi

post #314 of 336
Quote:
Originally Posted by crookymonster View Post

We buy them in and the ingredients says it has flour in bold for allergens

That sounds like your failure not the guest's. I think someone would have a reasonable expectation that a macaron wouldn't have gluten in it.
post #315 of 336
Quote:
Originally Posted by Someday View Post
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by crookymonster View Post

We buy them in and the ingredients says it has flour in bold for allergens

That sounds like your failure not the guest's. I think someone would have a reasonable expectation that a macaron wouldn't have gluten in it.

 

Long shot..... could have used an old WW2 recipe for flour based buttercream or maybe a roux thickened pastry cream instead of buttercreams built on meringue or a dollop of jam.

 

Maybe @crookymonster (lol that screen name...I am jealous ;-) will scan the ingredients portion of the box and we can play Dick Tracey.

 

mimi

post #316 of 336
I just checked the box again and it does say contains flour gluten in bold anyway I don't want to argue lol
post #317 of 336

No problems....

We all have to dance with the demon of the FDA labeling standards office.

May they occupy a very hot space (along with whoever helped squeeze the ACA under the door and over the threshold) for eternity.

People don't need that much info and IME will only use it to further the confusion.

 

mimi

post #318 of 336

here is one i forgot...use to use veal top rounds for veal cutlets.  member, who owns his own restaurant,  tells the server i'm using pork instead of veal.  i say to tell the fellow to come on back and watch me slice the veal and pound it out.  he shut up

post #319 of 336

Today's winner....."Veggie Burger, well done, no blood."

post #320 of 336
By far ( chef for over 25 years)
' chilean Seabass hold the chili ".
post #321 of 336

Customer requested Tuna Poke "well done." Had to gently explain that it didn't really work that way.

post #322 of 336
Quote:
Originally Posted by mckallidon View Post
 


Haha YES!  I worked in a few diners and this one across from a huge university had tons of vegans and weirdos come in, and we would always laugh at the vegans that would go out of their way to ask us to change our gloves (what gloves lol) and other stupid stuff, because when they got homefries or hashbrowns, they were always smothered in bacon grease!  We had this special we would do on the weekend for them with grilled portobello, peppers, onions, homefries and toast, and they'd always get bacon grease and butter, and they always really appreciated it. 

Hilarious!

 

I can top that, though.  We catered an art opening, baking cakes.  Since the artist was celiac, some of the cakes were gluten free and others not.  Serving implements were to be strictly segregated.  Some of the staff slipped up, and served the GF cake with the Wheat implements.

 

I saw the artist three weeks later.  She said the weeping sores on her back had closed up, though the itching was still driving her crazy.

 

 

Another customer went vegan all of a sudden.  We slipped her one of her old favorite dishes, just to test her.  She got heart palpitations, but they weren't life threatening.  She just laid down for a bit and drank some water, and they passed in an hour or so, she didn't even have to go to the hospital.  She told us that happens every time she eats animal products.  We laughed for hours!!

 

 

-----

Seriously, folks, these weren't my customers, they were my friends, and these things didn't happen in my restaurant because we care about our customers.  If they want eggs easy, we don't give them pancakes.  If they want vegan, we don't slip them butter as a test.  You never know if it's life threatening or if it's for other reasons (many observant Jews order vegetarian, it makes their diets simpler.)  Sometimes it's easier to say allergic than to try to explain the new diet you are on, trying to control your Crohn's or IBS or weight issues or hypoglycemia or even your simple food preferences.

 

So keep up with the jokes, and make sure the customers suspect it's them you are laughing at.  Sooner or later it thins the herd, and the places that understand it's the HOSPITALITY business will get busier, because they understand it's as simple as being hospitable and acting like you care.

 

 

 

Chilean sea bass, hold the chili.  I split a gut when I read that.

post #323 of 336
One afternoon there was a ticket for an arugula salad "allergy to cats" haha can't make this up.
post #324 of 336
We had one of those people who kindly hand you a business card with all their allergies listed. "Please ensure it reaches the chef" she sniffed as she waved the server away. My server was quite upset because she had been very nice to this couple and had received very poor interaction from them. They were treated her like a servant. So, as manager, I told her I would take over, but to watch how I did things.

So Mrs Allergy tells me that her last server was incompetent. I ask why, and she replies "well, she looked new."
"She is new, m'am, but we've all been new at sometime," I reply.
"Well, I expect someone who is able to understand my allergies. She could have killed me!"
"I'm sorry, but she told me about your card, and I am here now to make sure your meal is wonderful!"

(At this point, another of my staff grabbed me and whispered in my ear that chef was having a conniption)

"M'am, we are more than happy to look after your dietary requirements, but could you please review your menu and I will return to take your order?"
"No! Do NOT go away! I have questions!" She was yelling by now.
I was getting pissed now, and so were the other guests all staring at her and shaking their heads.

But then chef comes out and grabs me. He pushes me back and addresses the table himself.

"Madam, I have read your dietary requirement card, and I'm sure I can make a lovely meal for you. But you forgot to mention that you are also allergic to being a nice person and manners, so you can fuck off right out of this restaurant NOW!"

The look on her face was priceless.
God, I loved that chef!
post #325 of 336

I always love the steak comments.

"Ill have my steak extra rare but no blood" ????

worst is you make this great special for the night and a guest just totally changes every single thing... drives me nuts.

 

When I owned a couple restaurants I would switch cooking in each place every couple nights. i would get the dreaded "its just not as good when you don't cook it, tonight was great because you were here to cook it"... yeah right... I was working on something totally different and my line cooks cooked it like they do every night, yet because he THOUGHT I cooked it, it was perfect.

 

almost to many weird things to remember

 

Had another as a private chef... making pizza for the family kids... dad pops in says " can you make another larger pizza for my buddies, 1/2 regular dough and 1/2 gluten free?" What?huh?

"Failure Is Not An Option"
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"Failure Is Not An Option"
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post #326 of 336
Quote:
Originally Posted by Chefdwilliams View Post
 

I always love the steak comments.

"Ill have my steak extra rare but no blood" ????

worst is you make this great special for the night and a guest just totally changes every single thing... drives me nuts.

 

When I owned a couple restaurants I would switch cooking in each place every couple nights. i would get the dreaded "its just not as good when you don't cook it, tonight was great because you were here to cook it"... yeah right... I was working on something totally different and my line cooks cooked it like they do every night, yet because he THOUGHT I cooked it, it was perfect.

 

almost to many weird things to remember

 

Had another as a private chef... making pizza for the family kids... dad pops in says " can you make another larger pizza for my buddies, 1/2 regular dough and 1/2 gluten free?" What?huh?

Ah....but Chef.......you WERE there, so in the customers eye,the steak was great, even if you didn't cook it. It's a shmooze thing eh?

post #327 of 336
Spaghetti biryani!
post #328 of 336
Filet mignon butterflied and cooked extra well with ketchup on the side. We didn't even have ketchup in the kitchen let alone in the whole place. One of the servers had to go next door to ruby tuesday and borrow a bottle.
post #329 of 336
Oraange juice with 6 Tbsp fish sauce specicially and chilli flakes, he was russian and looked up thai cuisines, never found anything close it
post #330 of 336
Not so much a stupid order, but what happened after is what makes it stupid. Lol. Last table of the evening, 12 top, easy peasy all the same thing. Twelve carpet baggers ( crab stuffed filet mignon, MR, topped with a smoked bernaise. ) I had backstage tickets to a Bob Dylan show in Atlanta that night and was in a rush to get out of the kitchen. For the first time in many years, in my haste, I broke the sauce!! Steaks and crab are plated, I struggle to crack eggs and separate while heating more butter rather too quickly. I nail the next sauce while the dishes are being topped as they are leaving the kitchen. I gather my stuff and prepare to stop by the table, every single person at the table had drenched their plates in ketchup. No sheet!! Freaking ketchup. I left without comment. Silly dirty south. Lol
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