I took a step back but not the same situation. My wife and I wanted to have a child - after 18 years of marriage the time was right. ? :) we finally figured out how!! :)
I told the bosses that I was going to be moving on... to something a bit slower, told them the reasons why and gave them 3 months notice and offered every chance to help train a new 'chef' to take over.
What a fucking mistake!
Seriously everything I did from that day forward they questioned. Bad produce delivered ... I was being picky where before I was the king of quality control. Meat that was frozen a day before expiry and delivered to us was now a 'thing I should just get used to..." The list goes on and on.
They never brought anyone in for me to work alongside with and then give them opions/advice in private to them.
They took the 3 months as almost a 'joke' and when I reminded them that my last week was coming they acted like I was being unreasonable.
Long story short - I had already lined up a job at a nice but successful family run place that was looking for a 'lead cook'.
I took the job after talking with the Chef over way too many beers. I was straight up with him about why and my situation. Told him what hours I was looking for - he laughed as no one gets over 40hrs a week unless there is an emergency or your name is Chef or Maitre de.
Sundays its brunch only so you always get some family time. (place closes at 1pm)
After working there for about a year the Chef started putting me in charge and taking a few more days off. He started asking me to do schedules / ordering etc. and I asked for a raise... he caught on quick and "promoted me to Sous" and quickly dumped a bunch more tasks on me including training etc. He and the owners announced it to the staff publicly that I was his Sous-Chef and he then took 2 weeks off straight, first time ever in 40+ years~! Took his wife to Hawaii and boy did I ever get a thanks from his wife and the rest of the staff.
He's been happy as a clam ever since.
We work well together, get things done and I get to enjoy watching my daughter grow while he gets to slack off to a mere 50 hours a week!
I could never imagine working at the same place as a Sous after being the Chef... unless you were only the chef while they were looking for a replacement... even then it'd be awkward.
Time to shop around.
There is lots of work out there and being a Sous isn't all that bad!