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Am I being bullied or do I just need to harden the hell up? - Page 2

post #31 of 50

I disagree with all this macho BS! What about the people who want to enter the industry that are not made of steel? With the right training and guidance they can be as good as anyone else. Being a big dick doesn't make your dick bigger, it just makes you look foolish and childish. How can you expect someone who is new to the kitchen to know stuff if they have never done it before? Its all about training, developing and mentoring. An apprentice who learns and progresses will respect their mentors far more than you can imagine as long as their mentors respect them, respect is a two way thing and it has to be earned by both parties. I remember one chef who instilled so much fear into his brigade that everyone was afraid to make a mistake, so we all ended up not doing what we should have been doing for fear of it being wrong. That kitchen had such a high turnover of staff that it was impossibe to maintain any kind of consistency, morale was low and stress levels were higher than you can imagine. It was only when I went to a larger company that things fell into place and I realised how good this industry can be. My advice is, if you are not getting what you want out of your job, look around for something else. I always found that decent cooks were usually in demand and if you are willing to work hard with the right attitude you shouldn't have a problem finding work. 

post #32 of 50

Good post Bazza

I agree totally

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post #33 of 50

When you work in a kitchen, you don't give a $hit about language. Give a $hit about what you pick up and learn. Everything else is unimportant. Focus on what you learn, not how it was said or delivered. It's not really about "hardening up". It's about recognizing what is important to you. The education and knowhow being passed on to you is what's important. Everything else is trivial. The color of language is trivial. How much your coworkers like you is trivial. A pan being thrown at you is trivial. If you think of it that way, it'll be much easier to work. If nothing was being taught to you or you're not learning anything, then be worried.

post #34 of 50
Quote:
Originally Posted by uberathlete View Post

 A pan being thrown at you is trivial.

Possibly injuring someone with a pan because the person cannot act like an adult, and has a temper problem is trivial? that's laughable.

 

Thr language I can see, that shouldn't be a huge issue IMO, but throwing something at someone is 100% inexcusable.

post #35 of 50

I agree with Bazza and SquirrelJ. That behavior has no place in todays' kitchen. Kitchen work is physically demanding and stressful all on its' own. Throwing pots and pans or a temper tantrum is BS. All techniques and instruction can be given in a calm professional manner, especially during service when there is already enough tension. No one should work for or tolerate a bully. 

Those who treat their employees with respect have far less turnover, better performance and a smoother running kitchen. There is a big difference between being hard enough to withstand the normal rigors of a hot, busy, professional kitchen and having to do so while being belittled and degraded. You should never put up with that. 

post #36 of 50

I am a firm believer in Darwinism. When I started in the business yelling, screaming, throwing things was the norm. Now days it no longer is. The abusers are being weeded out. There are far too many jobs to be found at quality establishments that don't tolerate that sort of crap for anyone to subject themselves to that type of behavior.

Wisdom comes with age, but sometimes age comes alone.
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Wisdom comes with age, but sometimes age comes alone.
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post #37 of 50

Bazza, SquirrelJ, and many others are probably correct, such behavior is improper, probably immoral, distasteful, and an example of poor management and personnel relations.

 

HOWEVER, it is not illegal nor necessarily uncommon and an employee has, basically, two choices:

  • Put up with it, or
  • Find another job!

 

Unless the one issuing the paychecks, i.e. the business owner, sees a problem, the likelihood of a superior changing their ways is remote. Either learn to cope with the situation or leave.

Chef,
Specialties: MasterCook/RecipeFox; Culinary logistics; Personal Chef; Small restaurant owner; Caterer
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Chef,
Specialties: MasterCook/RecipeFox; Culinary logistics; Personal Chef; Small restaurant owner; Caterer
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post #38 of 50
Thread Starter 

I should clarify a few things, first off ... the pan was thrown TOWARDS me and it didn't hit me and I don't think that the person who threw the pan really wanted to injure me, if that was the case then that is a bit stupid. Where I live, if a person in your kitchen gets injured that they are unable to work then the company must pay for compensation during their absence. 

 

Also, Miash. Chefbilby and piratedeb, thanks for your advice, I really appreciate it.

post #39 of 50
some kitchens are just that way.. I personally don't get anything like that.. maybe once in a while a "where the hell are my fries I called 14 all day?!" but then again my kitchen is really relaxed..
post #40 of 50

I agree that you should get a thick skin but also don't be afraid to stand up for yourself. For instance if the sous is gonna be a b***h and sulk away cause you don' t know how to plate the cheese, that leader is failing you. Reply with how about instead of walking away and setting me up for failure you take 10 secs and show me. Your sticking up for yourself but also being tactful about it. Been in a lot of b***h sessions in the kitchen, i have kicked new guys out of my station during service. Sometimes things just get rough haha.

post #41 of 50
Quote:
Originally Posted by quinn0705 View Post

i have kicked new guys out of my station during service.

Why?

post #42 of 50
Quote:
Originally Posted by SquirrelRJ View Post

Why?

 

For being slow and getting me in the weeds by messing up orders, I would always go back and apologize but ya gotta do what ya gotta do sometimes.

post #43 of 50

It sounds to me like you have made your own decision as to what you want to do, and I wish you well in your music studies.  

 

The kitchen is not for everyone and you do need a thick skin to survive.  Unfortunately chefs yell.. and with most chefs I've worked for they blow their tops and then it's over....

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post #44 of 50
Quote:
Originally Posted by quinn0705 View Post

 

For being slow and getting me in the weeds by messing up orders, I would always go back and apologize but ya gotta do what ya gotta do sometimes.

Why not take the 10 seconds and show them? You just got finished telling the OP that her sous was failing as a leader by not taking the time to show her proper ways to plate.

post #45 of 50
Thread Starter 

Leeniek, I've returned to my music studies because I think it's a wise move to finish my degree... the thing is, as far as my degree goes I'll be done in a year so after that I was intending to start an apprenticeship. Being exposed to the chef world has taught me a lot about food and a lot about how I see things. I've learned and taken away lots of things from this experience. I still work occasionally in the kitchen but nowhere near as much as I would like.

post #46 of 50

Unfortunately, I was younger then and it was a little hard to 'calm' down at that particular time. Easier to tell the person to back off get caught up then bring em back and explain. 

post #47 of 50
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tranquillo View Post

Leeniek, I've returned to my music studies because I think it's a wise move to finish my degree... the thing is, as far as my degree goes I'll be done in a year so after that I was intending to start an apprenticeship. Being exposed to the chef world has taught me a lot about food and a lot about how I see things. I've learned and taken away lots of things from this experience. I still work occasionally in the kitchen but nowhere near as much as I would like.

It sounds like you have a good plan for yourself, and do you want to do anything with your Music?  One of our friends is an architect but deep down he thinks he is a rock star and has always been part of one band or another..

 

As for your time in the kitchen,  you need to do what is best for you and your long term goals and do what you need to do to make them happen for you.

 

I work in a production kitchen and I love my job and I have one of those jobs most cooks will give their right arm to have.  The work is work but the level of urgency is much different that that of a restaurant.  The urgency is stil there but we have more than a twenty minute ticket time to play with.  I know I sold out but It was a good move for me at this stage in my life

 

all the best...

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post #48 of 50
Thread Starter 

Thanks Leeniek, I always wanted to keep music as an option just in case something terrible happens - like if I injure myself or get really ill that I can't stand work in a kitchen, or even if after ten years if I decide I hate it. I guess it always helps to have a safety net. I've only got a year to go in terms of my music studies so I may as well stick it up and get the piece of paper. Right now I teach the piano and I do the occasional gig. The job is physically easier and the pay is nice. If I become an apprentice, I know that by then I'll be always broke so hopefully by then I can teach music one day a week to supplement my income. Eventually, my dream is to own a restaurant/cafe/venue that has music inside it ... I know that's more on the management side but I loved being in the kitchen, it was hard work but it taught me a lot ... and I miss it so much, today, when I went to my university library all I could think about was food. Glad to hear that you love your work :)

 

  

post #49 of 50

I don't think the sous chef example was a good one, although I do understand how some people can be totally disrespectful at work, and trying to convey that to someone else makes you sound like a wuss. The head chef treatment to me is so totally unacceptable. I know there's this unwritten rule in the food business that you're suppose to take all this shit on a platter and eat with a smile, but I look at it as people who are all human, and no job should ever give people the right to believe they are allowed to behave disrespectfully towards someone else. Not even the police. Why anyone under a head/exec chef is exempt from that is beyond me. I think people watch too much Ramsey and use it or accept that behavior as a badge of honor. I have been in this industry for so many years. I have been a chef, a caterer, a food service supervisor, I have done craft service at a cafeteria, and have cooked meals for people on Park ave. and I will never accept that kind of abuse. I rather prostitute my body on the street on my own terms than have to submit myself to that sort of abuse everyday at work. I LOVE cooking, but it's hard enough, without having to deal with that at work everyday. 

 

 

Just my 2 cents which ain't worth a penny. 

“After a good dinner one can forgive anybody, even one's own relations.”
Oscar Wilde

 

 

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“After a good dinner one can forgive anybody, even one's own relations.”
Oscar Wilde

 

 

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post #50 of 50
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tranquillo View Post

Thanks Leeniek, I always wanted to keep music as an option just in case something terrible happens - like if I injure myself or get really ill that I can't stand work in a kitchen, or even if after ten years if I decide I hate it. I guess it always helps to have a safety net. I've only got a year to go in terms of my music studies so I may as well stick it up and get the piece of paper. Right now I teach the piano and I do the occasional gig. The job is physically easier and the pay is nice. If I become an apprentice, I know that by then I'll be always broke so hopefully by then I can teach music one day a week to supplement my income. Eventually, my dream is to own a restaurant/cafe/venue that has music inside it ... I know that's more on the management side but I loved being in the kitchen, it was hard work but it taught me a lot ... and I miss it so much, today, when I went to my university library all I could think about was food. Glad to hear that you love your work :)

 

  

You can even incorporate what you know about music and the style etc you prefer into the establishment you set up.  These days there is no limit on what you can do. 

 

I've been watching this place downtown... it's opening in April and it's a board game lounge and for a small cover you can go in and play their board games all day long plus they have food etc as well...  The idea came out of the owners love of board games..

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