How long do you give a prep/lIne cook position before deciding it's not a good fit?
I'm 20. Stumbled upon a random Chef's apprenticeship (it was free, I was looking for work) that guaranteed a job in the industry. Well, I got one. And so far, I dread it. I am uncomfortable every single day. I move unpurposefully, I lack common sense, I ask dumb questions, I'm messy, and I occasionally mess up a recipe. All of this is pointed out to me every single day, and with attitude. I'm in the way, slow, and a toy. A plaything that's frequently mocked, wrongly accused of things I didn't do...and just disrespected. I just cannot handle being such a spectacle on the time. How can I learn by intimidation? I cant. I'm making improvements...and my chef has reminded me that I'm getting better (Bc she doesn't have to talk to me as much).....yet all the criticism isn't worth the miniscule "good job today".
For perspective: I'm a prep cook. I actually (regretfully) don't have much cooking experience...but am inspired by various cooking methods, cookbooks, and cultural/ethnographic roots of cooking . But I find the execution frustrating and never am satisfied with my performance. Needless to say, a prep cook doesn't need to know too much about cooking anyway. Just how to read recipes.
Anyway. Is this environment even worthwhile if 1) I am intimidated and depleted often 2 ) I know that cooking is not something I'm crazy enthusiastic about...? Is it even worth it? I want to get better, I do. But, I don't like what I must go thru to get better. I know I could probably learn the same things thru books...on my own time...without all the unecessary negativity and mistreatment. I'm inspired by books...not by chef's who treat me like scum.
Maybe I am a baby. Maybe I do need to "man up".. but because I'm not obsessed, bc I'm not whipping out food all the time...is it worth my time to work at a place that makes me so wildly uncomfortable...When I could probably just find another kitchen that's more conducive to my learning needs? (Chef's that respect noobs, that are patient, and that are encouraging? ) do these kitchens even exist?
I keep hearing that "you either are or you arent" "you have it or you dont" "it's in your blood or its not"....is this even true? Is it possible to develop a passion for cooking ...by working as a cook? Or must I love it from the start ? As I've told you, I don't cook often at ALL. When I do, it's frustrating bc I suck at It. Ugh help.