Hi to all! And big question to all professionals.
Find a small chef driven kitchen with a changing menu. One with a hands on chef and a two or three person line, with the chef being one of the two or three people that work the line.
Look for one with an open minded chef that is secure enough in his own abilities that he isn't afraid of input or ideas from his team.
I didn't get serious about being a chef until I was thirty, even though I had been in the industry for 10 years. So it definitely isn't too late IMO.
First of all, 30 is not too late to start in this business, although the older you get the rougher it is on the body. Secondly, find a place that you are comfortable with. There are all sorts of great restaurants, most of them without the Michelin stars. There are many people that excel in the fast-paced, stressful, backstabbing world you describe, and others don't. If this place isn't for you then find another place. There are plenty of great chefs out there, the vast majority doing their work without all the awards. Talk to other cooks and chefs and find out the places that they like to eat. Chances are those are places that are putting out great, unpretensious food.
Good luck as you start your new career.