The Theories:
GEORGE W. BUSH I don't think I should have to answer that question.
AL GORE I invented the chicken. I invented the road. Therefore, the
chicken
crossing the road represented the application of these two different
functions of government in a new, reinvented way designed to bring greater
services to the American people.
RALPH NADER The chicken's habitat on the original side of the road had
been
polluted by unchecked industrialist greed. The chicken did not reach the
unspoiled habitat on the other side of the road because it was crushed by the wheels of a gas-guzzling SUV.
PAT BUCHANAN To steal a job from a decent, hardworking American.
RUSH LIMBAUGH I don't know why the chicken crossed the road, but I'll bet
it was getting a government grant to cross the road. And, I'll bet someone
out there is already forming a support group to help chickens with
crossing-the-road syndrome. Can you believe this? How much more of this
can
real Americans take? Chickens crossing the road paid for by their tax
dollars, and when I say tax dollars, I'm talking about your money, money
the government took from you to build roads for chickens to cross.
JERRY FALWELL Because the chicken was gay! Isn't it obvious? Can't you
people see the plain truth in front of your face? The chicken was going to
the "other side." That's what "they" call it - the "other side." Yes, my
friends, that chicken is gay. And, if you eat that chicken, you will
become
gay too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination
that the liberal media whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases like
"the other side."
DR. SEUSS Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad?
Yes!
The chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed, I've not been told!
ERNEST HEMINGWAY To die. In the rain. Alone.
MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR. I envision a world where all chickens will be free
to cross roads without having their motives called into question.
GRANDPA In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Someone
told us that the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough for
us.
BARBARA WALTERS Isn't that interesting? In a few moments we will be
listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heartwarming story
of how it overcame a serious case of molting and went on to accomplish its
lifelong dream of "crossing the road."
JOHN LENNON Imagine all the chickens crossing roads in peace.
ARISTOTLE It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.
KARL MARX It was a historical inevitability.
SADDAM HUSSEIN This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite
justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.
RONALD REAGAN What chicken?
CAPTAIN KIRK To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.
FOX MULDER (TV show character on X-files, about paranormal phenomenon like
aliens, etc) You saw it cross the road with your own eyes! How many more chickens have to cross before you believe it?
FREUD The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the
road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.
BILL GATES I have just released eChicken 2003, which will not only cross
roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your
checkbook---and Internet Explorer is an inextricable part of eChicken.
EINSTEIN Did the chicken really cross the road or did the road move
beneath the chicken?
BILL CLINTON I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What Do you mean by chicken? Could you define chicken please?
LOUIS FARRAKHAN The road, you will see, represents the black man. The
chicken crossed the "black man" in order to trample him and keep him down.
THE BIBLE And God came down from the heavens, and He said Unto the
chicken,
"Thou shalt cross the road." The chicken crossed the road, and there was
much rejoicing.
COLONEL SANDERS I missed one?
GEORGE W. BUSH I don't think I should have to answer that question.
AL GORE I invented the chicken. I invented the road. Therefore, the
chicken
crossing the road represented the application of these two different
functions of government in a new, reinvented way designed to bring greater
services to the American people.
RALPH NADER The chicken's habitat on the original side of the road had
been
polluted by unchecked industrialist greed. The chicken did not reach the
unspoiled habitat on the other side of the road because it was crushed by the wheels of a gas-guzzling SUV.
PAT BUCHANAN To steal a job from a decent, hardworking American.
RUSH LIMBAUGH I don't know why the chicken crossed the road, but I'll bet
it was getting a government grant to cross the road. And, I'll bet someone
out there is already forming a support group to help chickens with
crossing-the-road syndrome. Can you believe this? How much more of this
can
real Americans take? Chickens crossing the road paid for by their tax
dollars, and when I say tax dollars, I'm talking about your money, money
the government took from you to build roads for chickens to cross.
JERRY FALWELL Because the chicken was gay! Isn't it obvious? Can't you
people see the plain truth in front of your face? The chicken was going to
the "other side." That's what "they" call it - the "other side." Yes, my
friends, that chicken is gay. And, if you eat that chicken, you will
become
gay too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination
that the liberal media whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases like
"the other side."
DR. SEUSS Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad?
Yes!
The chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed, I've not been told!
ERNEST HEMINGWAY To die. In the rain. Alone.
MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR. I envision a world where all chickens will be free
to cross roads without having their motives called into question.
GRANDPA In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Someone
told us that the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough for
us.
BARBARA WALTERS Isn't that interesting? In a few moments we will be
listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heartwarming story
of how it overcame a serious case of molting and went on to accomplish its
lifelong dream of "crossing the road."
JOHN LENNON Imagine all the chickens crossing roads in peace.
ARISTOTLE It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.
KARL MARX It was a historical inevitability.
SADDAM HUSSEIN This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite
justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.
RONALD REAGAN What chicken?
CAPTAIN KIRK To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.
FOX MULDER (TV show character on X-files, about paranormal phenomenon like
aliens, etc) You saw it cross the road with your own eyes! How many more chickens have to cross before you believe it?
FREUD The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the
road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.
BILL GATES I have just released eChicken 2003, which will not only cross
roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your
checkbook---and Internet Explorer is an inextricable part of eChicken.
EINSTEIN Did the chicken really cross the road or did the road move
beneath the chicken?
BILL CLINTON I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What Do you mean by chicken? Could you define chicken please?
LOUIS FARRAKHAN The road, you will see, represents the black man. The
chicken crossed the "black man" in order to trample him and keep him down.
THE BIBLE And God came down from the heavens, and He said Unto the
chicken,
"Thou shalt cross the road." The chicken crossed the road, and there was
much rejoicing.
COLONEL SANDERS I missed one?
