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Kitchen Turned Into Hell's Kitchen by New Chef  

post #1 of 18
Thread Starter 

I've written about how my kitchen was run by an imposter, posing as an executive chef and would favor the male cooks, wouldn't allow me on the line until I filed a formal HR complaint, and shortly after, he left to another senior facility.  He has taken a cook, a couple of servers, and a dishwasher with him; the dishwasher came back after 48 hours.

 

Enter the new chef...OMG!  From the day this guy staged, he upset the equilibrium in the kitchen.  Everyone's throat tightened, fists automatically clenched, and all the blood drained out of our bodies.  IT WAS HIM!  He didn't know his way around the kitchen, but when you offered to help him, he'd quickly snap back, "I got it!" We left the nimrod alone and waited to see his finished dish for the corporate chef.  I wish I had taken a picture of it because of it's saddened state.  It was dried salmon, cut into sticks on a plate of I don't know what.  Not appealing to the eye and certainly, no one wanted to sample it.

 

I cannot not believe the corporate chef hired this guy who is mean-spirited, talks down to everyone, except the male line cooks, and his food leaves much to be desired.  His first interaction with me was to tell me you always start stock in cold water.  Really?  I paid someone in culinary school $22,000 to teach me how to make a crystal clear consomme and a beautiful clear stock.  He then went on to show me how to dice an onion.  Lord love a duck!  THAT, I've been doing for over 40 years.  My only shortcoming was working on the line.  My cooking is excellent as opined by the residence in the facility.  They would tell the Asst. Executive Director what they had for breakfast, lunch or dinner and how fantastic it was and she, in turn, would go back to her office and see who was duty and it was always me.  She even pulled me aside and said, "you've getting quite the reputation for your cooking."  She even sampled a tuna melt and sent me an email expressing how she loves my food and I have a natural talent for the right spice combinations.  The chef tasted my tuna salad and said it needed a straw.  Yes, it was a little loose because it needed to be when you put it on the flattop, it has a tendency to dry out, but it will stay moist on the inside if you add just a little more mayo; it also sweats the onions, deepening their flavor profile.  I still have the email she sent me.  This guy is challenged by me, big time!  Too bad.  You'd think a chef would be happy he/she didn't have to look over their cook's shoulder if they're following directions.  

 

I was asked by a cook to make him a white sauce for his vegetable pot pie and as I started on it, the new chef came in and asked me what I was doing and I told him and right away, snatched the whisk out of my hand, demanded I go grab the 10 gallons of hot chicken stock I had no idea they made that day and he'd show me how to make a volute.  I told him I wasn't making a volute, but he wanted nothing to do with me and made a roux, and instead of pouring the stock in slowly and whisking, he told me to "just dump it in" and it was really lumpy and grey-looking and he ordered me to take it over to the vegetables and pour it in.  I did what I was told.  He sold this "vegetarian" pie to vegetarian residents.  One is blind and she thought it was vegetarian.  This guy is so cocky, he tried playing a mother sauce game with me, mispronouncing sauce Supreme (supreme he said, like the Supremes)  when it's really pronounced "Sue-prim".  He's an idiot!

 

I used to plate beautiful desserts every night for the residence, but he put a stop to that.  Now the servers pipe shaving cream like tufts on pie.  How sad.  The male cooks get praised even when they do not prep for me for the weekend.  I am off on Thursdays and Fridays and open at 6:00 a.m. to cook breakfast and lunch, but I wind up having to scramble to make breakfast/lunch for 60 people, because nothing is ever done and the chef refused to allow me to prep on Wednesday night before I go home.  I used to it, so I could be on top of my shift, but it's hard when you have chili dogs for lunch, but no damned hot dogs or buns taken out of the freezer or vegetable soup on the menu, but no vegetables prepped.  We had to go across the breezeway to our sister facility and "borrow" hot dogs for the lunch service.  Guess what?  The cook who was responsible for prep got praised for going across to the facility to get the hot dogs.  WTF!  I've had to borrow English muffins for my eggs benedict. None were ever purchased, but I borrowed from next door.  No praise for quick thinking.

 

I thought the last chef was a hack and he was, but his food was fantastic.  His problem was with females in the kitchen, but this guy HATES females who don't need cooking 101.  He allows this cook who graduated a semester ahead of me to run the kitchen.  He has not been promoted by corporate, but acts like he's in charge and tries to give me directives.  I stop his azz in his tracks and go to the chef and asked him why this guy, who can't cook to save the day (seriously, I'm not being mean.  This cook tried to make gravy on the steam table with corn starch and boiling water over the beef stew he made without vegetable or gravy; just beef he overcooked for 5 hours.   He even poured two cans of cranberry sauce in my turkey gravy because "it was there" and he thought it supposed to be added to it.), and 3x a week is prep cook, but is more concerned with cooking the entrees and not prepping.

 

I'm applying to other facilities because going to work in his kitchen is very stressful and I keep my head down, even when he tries to be urban, calling the dishwashers, "ma brotha" or saying shit like "boiy!" or "auight" instead of "alright" or thinks he knows all of this urban colloquial slang.  Ebonics is for the birds.  All African American people are quite familiar with the English language and will NOT misunderstand the king's English, well on some of those BBC shows, I might, but in general, we do speak and understand the English language.  He doesn't have to "talk down" to me.  My God, I do have a college education and did work in law for over 21 years as a legal secretary/paralegal.  It really ticks me off.

 

The female servers and a lot of the residence do not care for this new chef.  I was surprised when one asked me what I thought of him and I said "you first" and the resident, who is paying $10,000 a month to live there said, "he's a controlling S.O.B., isn't he?" I was totally shocked and asked how in the world did you know that?  She said the way he spoke to her.  Amazing grace!

 

The care staff hates him, residence don't care for him, and I despise him.  I've filed two HR complaints against him and have even consulted a law firm.  I've sent out several resumes and filled out applications in one day.  I just decided that this is NOT A GOOD FIT anymore.  How can you hate someone so bad and not even know them?  

 

I think it's something unholy!!! 


Edited by Etherial - 1/7/16 at 7:59am
post #2 of 18
Obviously he has a powerful female complex due to something really negative
in his past. Could be a wife, more likely his mother.
Time to talk to whos hiring hm, and see if theyre even aware how disruptive he is.
post #3 of 18

Yup.  But remember... bigoted and unfair jerks come in both genders. Ask me how I know and why I suggest that. :suprise:

post #4 of 18

When on the hot side, I can remember walking into a new kitchen as Chef and just look around for technique. If this new Chef didn't know your background, I probably would have told you to start stock with cold water. Can't tell you how many experienced cooks don't. I'm impressed you all are making your own stocks.

   Etherial, I hate to say this but sometimes you have to keep moving around until the right thing falls in your lap. And just when you think you've hit on the right place and you are happier than ever, something turns up-side down.

  I've read all of your posts from your beginning. I was wondering if you have ever checked into catering. To me, you'd be quite an asset. Takes pride in the work, has the knowledge, and if not, finds out. Responsible enough to ask for help or let someone know you're in the weeds instead of letting the customer down.Work on your own, etc.

FOR YEARS I LIVED TO WORK! NOW I WORK TO LIVE!
FOR YEARS I LIVED TO WORK! NOW I WORK TO LIVE!
post #5 of 18
Thread Starter 

I'm hanging in there until I find a good offer.  Hopefully, I can hang in there w/o being sabotaged into walking out; he'd love that.  I'm on time, uniform cleaned and fits properly, but for some reason, these guys don't like me.  I think because I don't need them anymore.  When I first started, I was unfamiliar with the fundamentals of working on the line.  But, as months passed (8 months), I have my own shift on the line, breakfast and lunch, the residents know and love my food, and I don't ask for help.  The only thing I ask for is items that should have been prepped for me like lettuce leaves for sandwiches, vegetables for salad, lettuces for salads, proteins that should have been restocked, etc.

 

I'm not going to whine on here, just vent again because my husband has reached his limit of listening to my complaints and I want him to keep loving me, so I'm venting to the world on this forum, yet again.  

 

Thank you for listening and I promise you, at my age, there's no temper tantrums or crying in my brew.  I will be 60 years old, but take care of myself where everyone thinks I'm either close to their ages (40-46) and try to call me "girl" and I have to correct them.  I have a young spirit and I'm not going to change who I am for anyone.

 

The time will come when a good opportunity will open up again, if I just stay the course and put my resume and feelers/network out there.  In the meantime, I have two days off and I'm spending them creating new and delicious meals for me and guy.  Tonight, I'm making a slow-cooked pork ball roast w/mashed cauliflower & truffle oil, and Szechuan fried green beans.  The silly cooks at work know nothing about this type of creativity.  As a matter of fact, I recommended to der chefin that perhaps we could make hassle back potatoes as a substitute for baked or mashed and he didn't have a clue what those were.

 

Question:  As a chef to a new kitchen, wouldn't it be to your advantage to speak with your staff about their training and background?  I mean ask them questions regarding their cooking skills, styles and quiz them on it so you know what your dealing with and can operate your kitchen on an even keel?  Just wondering, because that's what I would do.  

 

Example, if he sat down with me he'd have discovered that I start stock in cold water, made my first Hollandaise sauce in 1980, have over 40 years of cooking experience BEFORE attending culinary school.  These are important facts for a chef to know.  

post #6 of 18

One day @Etherial you will be an executive chef in a new kitchen and you will learn that you do not always have the time to be able to sit down with everyone to learn the nuances of people's background. The proof is in the actions and deeds, not the talk. I tend to take a quick peek on the resumes to see school and past work experience. Even with that said, there are schools and as well as past work experience that has not taught people the proper basics or has taught them some bad habits and shortcuts.......so one really does not know until one experiences the people and the new kitchen they are in for a bit.

 

I agree with @panini regarding the telling a cook to start stock in cold water, etc. as I want to make sure it is done right the first time no matter what. All anyone would have to say to me is 'yes chef' as I will eventually learn your skills and knowledge as we work together.......and believe me I am not only a quick learner, I am quite the intuitive person. So if you get a burr up your arse because I said something so simple yet you thought you were well above the comment because you think you know everything or more than me, that passive aggressive attitude shyte is gonna find it's way onto the end of my boot as I kick your arse until you learn to get rid of that ego in my kitchen.....lol. Passive aggressive or full on in your face attitude's don't work well in a team environment. 

 

It is totally okay that this kitchen and it's chefs do not work for you as there will always be other adventures and challenges to be had in other venues until you find the perfect fit.....like Goldilocks. The learning comes with the uncomfortableness of it all. You get to learn all over again what you like and what you don't like in your profession. This is a must no matter who we are, how much experience we have or how old we are.......there is always room to learn more!!

 

Catering would be the PERFECT fit for you!! I can totally picture you having a great time with it as well as feeling happy and getting the compliments and praise you are looking for and deserve!

post #7 of 18

Pretty sure we've all run into this kinda thing before in some form or other.  Sometimes a few beers after work helps.

 

:( :(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(

post #8 of 18
Thread Starter 
Quote:
So if you get a burr up your arse because I said something so simple yet you thought you were well above the comment because you think you know everything or more than me, that passive aggressive attitude shyte is gonna find it's way onto the end of my boot as I kick your arse until you learn to get rid of that ego in my kitchen.....lol. Passive aggressive or full on in your face attitude's don't work well in a team environment. 

Really now?  Not funny, when it only pertains to the only female in the kitchen or to shout out while working the line with me, "I'm going to teach you because you are just starting to cook"  How about der chefin assigns you the plating end of the line, yet the males try to bump you out and sautee AND plate, leaving you to push back and tell them to just put the vegetable pan down and I got it from here.  No!  They aren't courteous and I get angry and push back harder.  It's ridiculous.  Pahleez...he took the time out to find out the male cook, who can't even make a decent soup sandwich, and we went to the same culinary school.  Forget about soups and stocks.  He totally skipped that class.  It's hard to believe how this guy graduated.  He took the time to speak with each and every male cook in the kitchen on the days I was off and when I returned, he said he would do the same with me.  Wrong!  It's been 2 1/2 months and nada, no talk, fuggetaboutit.

 

So, feel like putting that foot you had reserved for my arse in your own mouth?  Huh?  Whatcha say, partner?


Edited by Etherial - 1/7/16 at 3:11pm
post #9 of 18

Sometimes you just need to let people strut for a bit, then you cook rings around them.

 

Fact of the matter is this.  The vision has changed, and as a professional you need to go along with this.  I know it's hard, but if the guy wants chicken stock then use chicken stock.  Believe me it is hard but after a few weeks you get used to it.  You cannot allow your ego to override your common sense.  

post #10 of 18
"Do that which gets you paid."





... We work in kitchens ... It ain'te rocket surgery.
post #11 of 18
Quote:
Originally Posted by IceMan View Post

"Do that which gets you paid."




 
... We work in kitchens ... It ain'te rocket surgery.

 

Right, believe me, if the contract says kool whip on 2" squares of box cake then you do it.   You don't get to spend an extra minute hand whipping and stabilizing cream.

post #12 of 18

Lol....calm now @Etherial remember you are talking to a 30+ year FEMALE veteran of the professional culinary establishment. ;)

 

First, don't take everything personally. Professional kitchens are highly competitive no matter where you go. You are someone that cares and wears that openly however, there are tons that don't and are only there for the pay check. The greater the position the higher the pay check so the competition to get the good paying jobs is fierce.....hierarchy by who was hired first or graduated before or after be damned. Chin up, eyes forward, work hard get noticed. There are other wonderful kitchens out there that you would absolutely love and flourish in however, you have to find them and that takes time, research, fearlessness and a wee bit of patience.

 

Second, yup....my foot would be up your arse in a second if you A) pulled a pouty passive aggressive attitude with me or others in my kitchen because you were too scared to pull said individuals aside (including myself) to have a straight talking to and figure it all out session, and B) thought you were well above myself (even being the new chef of authority in now my kitchen) by getting your panties in a twist because I happen to have a habit of making sure cold water is used for stocks. I make an effort to make everyone feel a part of a team so any sort of ego attitude using aggression or passive aggression is disruptive and doesn't belong in a team environment. Although I know I have never walked into a new kitchen as a new chef and put on "airs" as I always started in the dishwashing area and worked two full weeks working my way up through the positions to see how the kitchen was being run, how well training was and at what experience everyone had on every level. 

 

Third, don't get angry, get fierce. That means, take a step back from the situation, put the emotions aside and really think about the who, what, when, where and hows of the issues at hand. I would simply take the time to tell said chef I would like a word with him when he is in his office at the end or beginning of the day and hash it out once I knew my game plan. Plain and simple.

 

Fourth, if the male cooks want to do all the work for you then by all means LET THEM KNOW HOW WONDERFUL they are for making your life easier in the kitchen OUT LOUD and with a sarcastic grandmotherly-like voice. Bullies feed off of your at the surface emotion.....they really hate being laughed at and made fun of (dripping sarcasm is great for this). I ain't no simpering little thing to be dealt a blow for egos sake. I learned at a very early age growing up on a very large open range ranch that you deal with stuff straight, don't suffer fools.....ever. I always was polite up until I knew it was directly between myself and another and then I told it straight to the person what's what and had them do the same. We either came to an understanding or we didn't. Then I made a decision on whether the job was going to serve my progress or was the bullshyte gonna hold me back. I have no patience for passive aggressive shyte either. So the same would go for this as well......I found it more pertained to women then men though. During the years I have witnessed and have been bullied with all sorts of crap however, I learned that you suck it up or you move on. Old school thinking was that a female was only good barefoot and preggos in a home kitchen and the men had no qualms in letting me know I was most certainly not welcome in a professional one. Ahhh yes.....the good ol' days.....lol!! (although some of the biggest issues with chefs came from female chefs!)

 

Etherial, I admire your courage to change direction in life at your age however, as much as I am rooting for you in every way I feel I have to give some tough love every now and again to see you through the crap that you are experiencing. If you don't like what is happening then at your age, TELL IT STRAIGHT! You do not have the time to deal will the simpering little fools that think they are gods gift. It is okay to get a little hot under the collar now and again when you perceive someone talking down to you......it is a whole other when they want to keep you on the outs and not let you flourish in your career the way you should. You just haven't found your forever home in the kitchens yet. You will and you will be that much better for all the bullcrap you are enduring now!

 

Hows that for foot in mouth eh?? lol :eek: ;) :D

post #13 of 18
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Fact of the matter is this.  The vision has changed, and as a professional you need to go along with this.  I know it's hard, but if the guy wants chicken stock then use chicken stock.  Believe me it is hard but after a few weeks you get used to it.  You cannot allow your ego to override your common sense.  

What are you talking about?  I use whatever he tells me to use.  There's no argument, ego, or fuss; he's the boss.  period. end of story.  What I minded was him telling me to always start it in cold water.  C'mon now.  He doesn't say any of that to the men and they overcook shit like you wouldn't believe and nothing is said out loud to embarrass, correct, or teach them the proper way to cook a whole turkey or spare ribs.  How in the hell do you serve spare ribs that look like you deep fried them to seniors?  How?  The turkey is so dry after they annihilate it, it crumbles in your hand.  Don't get me started on the Alfredo sauce.  Can you say MILK?

 

I have a healthy ego just like the next good cook, but the difference with me is that I follow instruction, I cook according to manufacturer's suggestion/instruction or the chef's.  I do not buck the system.  I'm at work on time, my uniform is clean, I wear gloves when plating cold foods and salads, the residents can tell when I'm cooking the meals because they tell the Asst. Executive Director and she looks on the schedule.  She's told me I have gathered a reputation for my food.  

 

One resident and her husband always ask for extra sauce when I'm cooking.  HOW ABOUT THIS?  Have you ever had another cook pour 2 cans of cranberry sauce in your turkey gravy because he saw it sitting there and thought it went into making the gravy?  Have you ever seen anyone use boiling water and cornstarch on the steam table to thicken a watery liquid in beef stew that he cooked for 5 hours and it's now mush?  

 

Let me know when you do.

 

When you do, then preach to me about ego.

post #14 of 18
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Fablesable View Post
 

Lol....calm now @Etherial remember you are talking to a 30+ year FEMALE veteran of the professional culinary establishment. ;)

 

First, don't take everything personally. Professional kitchens are highly competitive no matter where you go. You are someone that cares and wears that openly however, there are tons that don't and are only there for the pay check. The greater the position the higher the pay check so the competition to get the good paying jobs is fierce.....hierarchy by who was hired first or graduated before or after be damned. Chin up, eyes forward, work hard get noticed. There are other wonderful kitchens out there that you would absolutely love and flourish in however, you have to find them and that takes time, research, fearlessness and a wee bit of patience.

 

Second, yup....my foot would be up your arse in a second if you A) pulled a pouty passive aggressive attitude with me or others in my kitchen because you were too scared to pull said individuals aside (including myself) to have a straight talking to and figure it all out session, and B) thought you were well above myself (even being the new chef of authority in now my kitchen) by getting your panties in a twist because I happen to have a habit of making sure cold water is used for stocks. I make an effort to make everyone feel a part of a team so any sort of ego attitude using aggression or passive aggression is disruptive and doesn't belong in a team environment. Although I know I have never walked into a new kitchen as a new chef and put on "airs" as I always started in the dishwashing area and worked two full weeks working my way up through the positions to see how the kitchen was being run, how well training was and at what experience everyone had on every level. 

 

Third, don't get angry, get fierce. That means, take a step back from the situation, put the emotions aside and really think about the who, what, when, where and hows of the issues at hand. I would simply take the time to tell said chef I would like a word with him when he is in his office at the end or beginning of the day and hash it out once I knew my game plan. Plain and simple.

 

Fourth, if the male cooks want to do all the work for you then by all means LET THEM KNOW HOW WONDERFUL they are for making your life easier in the kitchen OUT LOUD and with a sarcastic grandmotherly-like voice. Bullies feed off of your at the surface emotion.....they really hate being laughed at and made fun of (dripping sarcasm is great for this). I ain't no simpering little thing to be dealt a blow for egos sake. I learned at a very early age growing up on a very large open range ranch that you deal with stuff straight, don't suffer fools.....ever. I always was polite up until I knew it was directly between myself and another and then I told it straight to the person what's what and had them do the same. We either came to an understanding or we didn't. Then I made a decision on whether the job was going to serve my progress or was the bullshyte gonna hold me back. I have no patience for passive aggressive shyte either. So the same would go for this as well......I found it more pertained to women then men though. During the years I have witnessed and have been bullied with all sorts of crap however, I learned that you suck it up or you move on. Old school thinking was that a female was only good barefoot and preggos in a home kitchen and the men had no qualms in letting me know I was most certainly not welcome in a professional one. Ahhh yes.....the good ol' days.....lol!! (although some of the biggest issues with chefs came from female chefs!)

 

Etherial, I admire your courage to change direction in life at your age however, as much as I am rooting for you in every way I feel I have to give some tough love every now and again to see you through the crap that you are experiencing. If you don't like what is happening then at your age, TELL IT STRAIGHT! You do not have the time to deal will the simpering little fools that think they are gods gift. It is okay to get a little hot under the collar now and again when you perceive someone talking down to you......it is a whole other when they want to keep you on the outs and not let you flourish in your career the way you should. You just haven't found your forever home in the kitchens yet. You will and you will be that much better for all the bullcrap you are enduring now!

 

Hows that for foot in mouth eh?? lol :eek: ;) :D

First off, I have the best sense of humor around and I'm basically a happy person, but I don't take any shit from anyone.  As far as taking someone aside, I've done that.  One cook had a habit of throwing my timecard away.  I missed 3 1/2 hours of work time because of it.  This same cook would deconstruct my "kits" for soup or a dish I'm making and I had to gather everything up and start over again.  He's thrown sauces away, even with current dates on them.  Don't tell me about not being able to talk to someone.  Read!  Learn!  To show how nice I am, I even brought in two of my old radios to play in the kitchen for everyone.  I DO speak my mind and am certainly NOT passive aggressive.  I don't know where you got that.  I'm honest and I expect the people I'm around to be the same, but some aren't.  Wanting to be treated fairly is NOT AN EGO TRIP.  It's obvious that you aren't reading correctly and have spun my message into some stereotypical opinion that I'm this ego-driven, passive and resistant female, resisting instruction.  It's my job to do my job.  What are you talking about?  

 

You couldn't be more wrong even if you robbed a bank.  I never said I didn't follow the chef's instruction.  You said that.  As a matter of fact, he has a cook's production sheet for us to complete before our lunches and I complete each and every task ahead of schedule and ask the other cooks if they need help.  I believe the problem is I DON'T NEED THEM ANYMORE.  Eight months ago, I had only worked the line while in culinary school, but I've come very far since then.  I learned by trial and error and by watching them.  

 

I've filed an HR complaint against the chef.  I also filed one against the previous chef because he would not allow me on the line, although I staged for the culinary director and got the job as line cook, I was transferred to the sister facility across the street because that building had just opened.  The previous chef said I had to wait (like he did) 5 years to get on the line.  I quickly filed a complaint with HR and was placed on the line that same day.  That chef quit after 6 months and the kitchen had to shut down and we had to spend 8 hours deep cleaning it with the addition of a professional cleaning crew.  It costs the facility thousands of dollars to correct what the previous chef neglected.  The place was filthy and they were feeding senior citizens with weaken immune systems.  Imagine if someone became physically ill and an epidemic started because the kitchen was so filthy?  This was a brand new kitchen a year ago and it became run down.

 

You may have been in the field for 30 years, but I've been cooking for 40 and went to culinary school because I CAN COOK, not because I needed to learn how.  I have an interview at a fine dining restaurant tomorrow.  I've started sending out my resume and cover letters last week.  It's insanity for me to stay where I'm obviously not wanted.  

 

If you need something to do with that shoe you're so desperately trying to get rid of, again, try your mouth and if that doesn't work, then go back to wearing it.


Edited by Etherial - 1/8/16 at 4:06am
post #15 of 18

Not uncommon, not right, I've seen stuff just as bad.  I was also picked on when I was starting out but I just did my job and moved on.

 

I'm trying to be encouraging here.  Try to keep your head up and move on.   Leave the rest of them in the dust.

post #16 of 18
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by kuan View Post
 

Not uncommon, not right, I've seen stuff just as bad.  I was also picked on when I was starting out but I just did my job and moved on.

 

I'm trying to be encouraging here.  Try to keep your head up and move on.   Leave the rest of them in the dust.

Yes!  That's exactly what I'm doing and I'm trying to move on, as well.  I have a job interview today.

post #17 of 18

@Etherial My dear, it it truly your attitude that will continue to be your downfall in the professional kitchen atmosphere. The sound advice given to you by all is exactly that....SOUND advice....you just have to be open and willing enough to hear the sound. The fact that you take everything too seriously and against yourself personally is going to be a very painful experience for you in the kitchens. You are coming across as a bitch on this forum and that makes it easy to see why you are not getting a chance in hell at the kitchens you are working at. Give your ego a rest......it is well needed.

 

Quote:
 You may have been in the field for 30 years, but I've been cooking for 40 and went to culinary school because I CAN COOK, not because I needed to learn how.  I have an interview at a fine dining restaurant tomorrow.  I've started sending out my resume and cover letters last week.  It's insanity for me to stay where I'm obviously not wanted.

You have no idea my previous history before getting into the culinary field let alone while in it, so I will just leave it at that. The rest can see your insecurity from this statement up above alone. You will never be wanted at any place if your ego is not put aside and your attitude doesn't change from a know it all to an open sponge. 

 

I know my dear that this is not the only time you have been told this (I am sure your poor husband/partner agrees albeit silently) and that is why you have a knee-jerk reaction to what I am saying however, we are never too old to learn a new way of being and doing. I wish you all the best in your future endeavours and hope the learning curve is a quick one. 

 

Cheers :D

post #18 of 18
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Fablesable View Post
 

@Etherial My dear, it it truly your attitude that will continue to be your downfall in the professional kitchen atmosphere. The sound advice given to you by all is exactly that....SOUND advice....you just have to be open and willing enough to hear the sound. The fact that you take everything too seriously and against yourself personally is going to be a very painful experience for you in the kitchens. You are coming across as a bitch on this forum and that makes it easy to see why you are not getting a chance in hell at the kitchens you are working at. Give your ego a rest......it is well needed.

 

You have no idea my previous history before getting into the culinary field let alone while in it, so I will just leave it at that. The rest can see your insecurity from this statement up above alone. You will never be wanted at any place if your ego is not put aside and your attitude doesn't change from a know it all to an open sponge. 

 

I know my dear that this is not the only time you have been told this (I am sure your poor husband/partner agrees albeit silently) and that is why you have a knee-jerk reaction to what I am saying however, we are never too old to learn a new way of being and doing. I wish you all the best in your future endeavours and hope the learning curve is a quick one. 

 

Cheers :D

Why are you calling me out of my name?  I never called you a bitch.  Stop trying to analyze me by telling me I'm passive-aggressive, then you tell me you would "kick my arse"  Where in my statement did I ever call you out of your name or threaten you physically?  

 

I simply said I did not get the same sit-down treatment as the men and the chef assumed I didn't know how to start stock, but you've turned this into a personal vendetta between you and I.  Why?  Is it that you want to and have to be right?  And who said your advise was "sound"?

 

Wanting to work harmoniously in a professional kitchen is not far-fetched.  I can and I think it does happen.  What makes things difficult is people like you who want to treat a grown adult like a child.  If you tried reading and comprehending my messages, we wouldn't be having these heated discussions.  I'm a 60 year old woman, not one of your children.  Your advice is treated just like any other advice:  I take want I need and leave the rest on the table.  I don't have to be agreement with you nor you me, but I do have to be treated with respect as I have with you.

 

Threatening me with snarky remarks about kicking my ass and telling me I'm passive-aggressive is very inappropriate.  There is nothing sound in your advice.  If it were, I would have thanked you in response to your initial post.

 

Read, read, read.  Are you this thread's spokesperson to say everyone sees how insecure I am?  I didn't read that.  Could you please point those out for me?  How do you know what everyone sees?  Again, weak and inappropriate judgment.  This discussion was not about you, but in your quest to be right, you turned it into an unnecessary battle.  Talk about egos.  

 

On a closing note, I'm asking you nicely to leave my husband out of this as you are very inappropriate.  I WILL get very angry with you if you do that again.


Edited by Etherial - 1/8/16 at 8:39am
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