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catering my own wedding - Page 2

post #31 of 47
I think it's crazy to do it but then again I and others here seem to understand the difference between cooking for 20 on thanksgiving (where cooking and hosting is my only job) and cooking for 20 on my wedding day. And if you are in the food industry I'm willing to bet you know many people that can cook and help you out on this one. At some point it all comes down to control and some people just cannot relinquish it and risk someone else getting culinary credit. I think everyone here has given you really good advice based on their own experiences even if you don't value it. Just make sure you're doing it for the right reasons and not just causes you have something to prove. A wedding can just be a wedding, it doesn't have to be your own personal culinary challenge, it's about the two of you not just about you.

"You are what you eat, so don't be fast, cheap, easy, or fake."

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"You are what you eat, so don't be fast, cheap, easy, or fake."

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post #32 of 47

Go for it!

 

It's twenty or so people, that's three eight tops. A blip on a busy night at work.  No biggie, plus you know what they having ahead of time. I could do that in my sleep. We create the amount of stress we feel, so don't fall into the trap of elevating it into something crazy.

 

If you plan your menu and event set up well, on the day of your wedding, you will simply be putting pans into the oven. Easy peasy.

 

Enjoy your special day!

 

Oh yeah, plan your menu and event set up well.

 

Did I mention plan your menu and event set up well.

 

The devil is in the details and lack of paying attention to planning will get you a ride on the express elevator to stress. Stay on the ground floor.

Wisdom comes with age, but sometimes age comes alone.
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Wisdom comes with age, but sometimes age comes alone.
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post #33 of 47
Quote:
Originally Posted by alfrede View Post

ok, so the more and more i look online at caterers, the more i'm like, "why don't i just do it myself and save the hassle of paying an arm and a leg for fancy china and plates".

has anyone done this?  obviously doing a plated dinner creates a headache, so i'm assuming buffet style.  what entrees do you think lend well to holding for about 2 hours over a sternos?  ceremony starts at 5, dinner at 6, so i should have the food ready to go by no later than 430.  

you think its worth the stress?  i mean if successful, huge self pat on the back, if not, mushy/overcooked food.  timing is everything so just trying to get ideas of what works best in others' opinions.

thanks!

Also keep in mind, folks w allergies, food restrictions, and religious (kosher) meals. Food safety (holding times, kitchen cleanliness/rules etc.) If aunt Tilly puffs up like a blowfish after ingesting a nut and you have to call 911, it's not worth being penny wise and pound foolish, or worth a pat on the back. Not being sarcastic, but didn't sternos go out with high-topped shoes?

I would hire Pros or go to a restaurant.
post #34 of 47

It's definitely achievable but do you really want the added stress on the day? Good luck either way you go!

post #35 of 47
Quote:
Originally Posted by alfrede View Post
 

thanks, i have other people pitching in to help with the other various things that need be done, i.e, decorating, invitations, music, booze.  i'm just doing food and my hotel offered to lend me chafing dishes and hotbox if i need it.  its 20 people, we all cook way more on thanksgiving, well at least i do.  and the most gratifying thing is everyone enjoying themselves.  

 

its a little disappointing asking fellow cooks for suggestions and all i get is negative feed back.  i get it though, the word "wedding' strikes fear in people, it originally did to me, but my better half talked me down the ledge and reminded myself that i kinda kick ass when it comes to stressful situations and food.  not everyone can thrive and i guess thats the difference between good cooks and great cooks.

 

Well, maybe if you had said, at the beginning, that the wedding dinner was for 20 guests you might have gotten very different responses.  Most people are going to assume when you say wedding dinner, more along the lines of 100 people or so.

 

But even then, I don't think I'd change my tune.  There is enough going on for you that day.  Why wouldn't you want to sit back and enjoy some of it?  With only 20 people have all your friends cook and do a pot luck, like I mentioned earlier.  If your really feel you need to contribute then maybe you do the main entrée and let everyone else bring sides, etc.

post #36 of 47
Quote:
Originally Posted by alfrede View Post

 

its a little disappointing asking fellow cooks for suggestions and all i get is negative feed back.  i get it though, the word "wedding' strikes fear in people, it originally did to me, but my better half talked me down the ledge and reminded myself that i kinda kick ass when it comes to stressful situations and food.  not everyone can thrive and i guess thats the difference between good cooks and great cooks.

 

Ouch I didn't even notice this dig!  Sure maybe you're a great cook as opposed to us good cooks... or maybe your fiance is cheap and doesn't want to shell out any money for you to relax and enjoy your wedding day.  It's a toss up.

"You are what you eat, so don't be fast, cheap, easy, or fake."

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"You are what you eat, so don't be fast, cheap, easy, or fake."

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post #37 of 47

I didn't really read it as a dig, just a line cook talking. Someone that knows what it is like in the trenches dealing with stress, time constraints, pressure, massive multi-tasking, etc. etc. etc. Not everyone can hang with it nor understand it.

 

This on the other hand

Quote:
Originally Posted by Koukouvagia View Post
or maybe your fiance is cheap and doesn't want to shell out any money for you to relax and enjoy your wedding day.  It's a toss up.

is a dig, a deep one.

Wisdom comes with age, but sometimes age comes alone.
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Wisdom comes with age, but sometimes age comes alone.
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post #38 of 47

I chalk this one up to yet another case where, had the OP provided us more complete info 

on the situation from the get-n-go, it might've saved a good degree of "wheel-spinning"....

as well as avoided a few misunderstandings. :o

post #39 of 47
I had that coming but to be clear that's just an example of something one might come up with if they were to assume the worst. Smack talk for smack talk is all it is. But to be honest I really wouldn't have liked it if my fiancé goated me into taking on a huge bundle of work on our wedding day. I had a lot of help on my wedding day and it still turned out to be the most stressful day ever. There's all kinds of things I wish I'd done more simply and with less fuss. Hindsight is 20/20.

"You are what you eat, so don't be fast, cheap, easy, or fake."

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"You are what you eat, so don't be fast, cheap, easy, or fake."

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post #40 of 47

i still remember my 40 years birthday. I invited 25 friends and made all the food with my wife. A nightmare, an ordeal. We enjoyed zero until the late afternoon, when we could relax, drink some wine and play some songs on the piano. Never more.

Gebe Gott uns allen, uns Trinkern, einen so leichten und so schönen Tod! Joseph Roth.
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Gebe Gott uns allen, uns Trinkern, einen so leichten und so schönen Tod! Joseph Roth.
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post #41 of 47
Quote:
Originally Posted by Koukouvagia View Post

I had that coming but to be clear that's just an example of something one might come up with if they were to assume the worst. Smack talk for smack talk is all it is.

 

Haha yes.  :)

post #42 of 47
I dont know anyone personally or professional who has done this, but my fiancee and I plan on using my catering business to do just that in a couple of years, you only get married once and we dont want to go all out. We plan on Sous Viding most of the food except the bread and sauces. And have one of my Sous Chefs take the Lead with a cook for every 30 people, and a server for every 3 tables so I can relax and enjoy the wedding like a typical groom. Let me know if you inquire additional questions.
post #43 of 47
True
post #44 of 47

Yeah but you have help.  

post #45 of 47

For what its worth. 

 

1. I hired a caterer. I was really hands on, in the beginning, though, with menu, table layout, organization, etc. Didn't do much of anything the day of. A friend of my partner's brother worked for a liquor distribution company. He kept my glass filled with scotch while I wasn't looking, so it wasn't stressful at all.:lol: The caterer was worth every penny, but I was lucky. She was outstanding. 

 

2. I don't think dealing with the stress of serving 20 or 200 makes the difference between a good cook and a great one. You can be a great cook and be a bit disorganized. That makes you an average executive chef. 

 

3. It seems to me, and take this with a huge grain of salt, that the purpose of catering your own wedding is not to save money, but to toot your own horn. This might explain why you think the feed back is negative as opposed to honest. Just a guess. Don't be insulted. No offense intended. Sometimes people want to show off their skills. No problem with that, but be honest about it. 

 

4. If it were about saving money, you could save money and NOT cater it yourself. Many possibilities already outlined here. Unless of course you're an alpha control freak, in which case I'd say don't get married. :suprise:

 

5. Most people prefer to enjoy the party after their wedding, instead of running it.

 

Having served many people, and hosted parties, I can safely say I never enjoy the party as a guest until everybody went home. That's not to say it wasn't successful, just that you enjoy it differently as a host than as a guest. I think you know this. 

post #46 of 47
Lol, this made me chuckle quite a bit, I agree with what you said, but if my fiancee and I do follow through with our plan, I plan on taking the course of action that you applied, glass full, and just enjoying the party and not get involved on the big day.
post #47 of 47
She could hire help, friends of friends or staff of friends, even going to the closest Culinary School and pick out a few of their more skilled and talented students. And if she feels uneasy about that, have them stage or do some time of cooking demo so she can get a better understanding of what she has available to her.
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