Great of you to join the thread!
You can always move your asparagus plants closer together.
Here is a good document on Growing Asparagus
That's a good point about the extension service. It's staffed by volunteers. I suppose it's like any place you go to, everyone is different but you're definitely at a good source.
Deer and tulips? Sounds like you found out the hard way, LOL! You know, there are critters that eat the bulbs too.
It's always disappointing to hear about a gardener who is giving up because of pests, disease. I often feel that knowledge will help and encourage you not to give up. As I posted above, I highly recommend the book Great Garden Companions: A Companion-Planting System for a Beautiful, Chemical-Free Vegetable Garden
. I like the idea of a biodiverse garden (similar to nature) to prevent pests and disease).
There are ways to sterilize your soil to help rid it of disease, etc.
I also encourage you to browse the GardenWeb Forums
, especially Vegetable Gardening and Organic Gardening for solutions to any problems you may have. For example, just do a search
there on any of the topics you mentioned and you'll have plenty of information to browse.