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Help! I'm getting married

4815 Views 45 Replies 15 Participants Last post by  katbalou
I'm mainly looking for general input, but I do have one food question--can I really count on these places that do the whole package deal for you--from the ceremony to the reception and the cake and the catering, etc. etc. or should I hire a private caterer, along with everyone else--a photographer, flowers, etc. Are buffets a good idea or should I stick with the "beef or chicken" plated meal type things?
I am leaning towards having it in my church in my old hometown and having the reception downstairs in the meeting hall. That means I'd have to hire everyone myself--photographers, caterers, find a wedding cake, flowers, etc. My fiance keeps sending me links to fancy estates and mansions that do ceremonies and receptions--and hire their own people to do the food and everything else, I assume. (Haven't looked too deeply into this yet. Just got engaged a week and a half ago.)
IThe wedding won't be very big--only a couple bridesmaids, best man, and maybe 40 guests tops. Any tips?
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Oh Kate, you can't drop something like this on us and expect us to just give you reception tips! I'm so happy for you both :bounce: :bounce: :bounce: !!!

Since my husband and I were (gulp) older and ours was a second (much, much better) marriage for me though the first for David, we just had 6 friends and a rabbi under a chuppah and then off to a private room at a local Italian restaurant for lots of tasty appetizers and lots of champagne (which the restaurant suggested we bring ourselves in order to drink something decent--they were great). A few weeks later when the term ended, we went on a 3 week honeymoon (lune de miel--the French actually call it the same thing) in Provence and the French alps. What I'm saying is you might think about saving some of the wedding budget for a really fabulous honeymoon trip (if not right now, later).

But whatever you decide, congratulations, a long and healthy life to you both, and have a great time at your wedding :beer: :smiles: :beer: !!!
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If you think of the "staging" of church weddings, the bride does seem to be the star. The groom and his best man discretely slide in from some side door near the altar and wait with the rest of the guests until those trumpets (or whatever) sound and the bride, preceded by her handmaidens in hideous dresses designed to look good on no one so the bride won't be upstaged, enters. All rise and turn to look on her and smile and approve. She is the center of attention. I read that in the "wee kirk o' the hill"--or something--in Forest Lawn--a huge So Cal cemetary-- brides, when they begin their hesitation walk down the aisle can kick a treadle switch that sets off special lights that flash on her as she walks. :D

It sounds like you and your fiance might want to sit down together over some wine and make separate lists of what you envision your wedding to be. Then rank them. Can you live with the idea of an outdoor wedding if that's the most important aspect for him? Can he live with something of yours that's truly important to you? See what compromises and trade-offs you can make. As Pete notes, this is good practice for the marriage.
After you've come to most if not all the major decisions, then, as a couple, present the plan to the parents (all of them together in one room if possible). Now remember that I've never done this myself, but it seems that a well worked-out plan presented by the couple would be hard to refute or refuse. Just present a united front and do it with love.
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