Help! I'm getting married

Congrats Kate!!! A couple of things to think about first off. If you plan your reception at the church, will they allow alcohol? Many churches don't, and if toasts and/or drinking is important to you then you need to look elsewhere. The second thing to remember, is not to focus too much on the reception and food. Believe me when I say that no matter what you do, your guests will have a great time and will be glad to share in your special day. I have been and/or worked in weddings ranging from a backyard BBQ to $100,000 extrazaganza and have seen the guests enjoy themselves at both types, maybe even more at the more informal BBQ.

A lot comes down to what you (or the parents can afford). I got married when I lived in Chicago. My wife and I started out wanting a reception at one of the "hot" places in town, but after looking at finances we decided that we could not afford nearly that kind of wedding, so instead we went out to the suburbs and held it at a golf club that offered us one of those packages. It was the best decision we could have made. It allowed us to do so much more-open bar, 4 course dinner, longer time with the DJ, nicer looking cake. Ok, so the quality was not 3-star, but it was good, and the place let us do all our own decorating and stuff like that. Afterwards, I never heard any comment about the food we served (and believe me, my restaurant friends would have let me know it sucked). All we heard about was the lovely wedding ceremony and the "great party" we threw afterwards.

So I guess it comes down to do what you want to do, what you feel comfortable doing. No matter what you decide, everyone will love it, and they will have a great time.

The bride is not more important than the groom. I find it a load of BS when they call the wedding day, HER DAY. It is THEIR DAY. Your fiance should have as much input as you. You two together should make the decisions. It is the first good test of a soon-to-be married couple. If you can't get along while making the wedding decisions and both compromise how will you ever come to terms on other decisions once you are married? You two, together should plan it. You will both have to make compromises but in the end it will be YOUR wedding. As for Mom, she can make suggestions but ultimately you guys need to make the choices. But I found out, it is much easier if you let her think she is the one making those decisions. Be devious, be sly, but you must not let her take control, if you don't want her to. But don't be so forceful that feelings are hurt. I have seen many weddings marred because the bride and mom were fighting over wedding arrangements. Ultimately, it is not worth that kind of trouble.

P.S. I think Mezz was referring to your Dad making the decisions if he is paying.