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Help! I'm getting married

4802 Views 45 Replies 15 Participants Last post by  katbalou
I'm mainly looking for general input, but I do have one food question--can I really count on these places that do the whole package deal for you--from the ceremony to the reception and the cake and the catering, etc. etc. or should I hire a private caterer, along with everyone else--a photographer, flowers, etc. Are buffets a good idea or should I stick with the "beef or chicken" plated meal type things?
I am leaning towards having it in my church in my old hometown and having the reception downstairs in the meeting hall. That means I'd have to hire everyone myself--photographers, caterers, find a wedding cake, flowers, etc. My fiance keeps sending me links to fancy estates and mansions that do ceremonies and receptions--and hire their own people to do the food and everything else, I assume. (Haven't looked too deeply into this yet. Just got engaged a week and a half ago.)
IThe wedding won't be very big--only a couple bridesmaids, best man, and maybe 40 guests tops. Any tips?
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Best wishes, Kate! I had a great time planning my wedding in 1992 because I did it all myself. My parents lived 1500 miles away and sent checks every so often. I was nearly 40 so I was not in the mood for a long white dress; in fact, mine came from Eddie Bauer. (No, it was not down-filled.) We fed and watered 115 people. I don't think we spent much more than $5000 for the whole wedding, right down to my shoes.

Here's my take on your mom's behavior: If your mom is paying, she gets more say than if she's not. Having said that, it's YOUR wedding (the bride's gig, so to speak), and she is in very bad form to make it all about herself. If she wants to plan a party for herself, graciously allow her to do so, but it will not be YOUR wedding. If she wants to have your very important day be meaningful to you, her daughter, she should let you take the lead on planning. Period.

What does your fiance say? The two of you should decide how big or small, how fancy or simple, formal or laid back. Then go from there. Present your plan to your parent(s), but know what is not negotiable from your standpoint.

Please do keep a binder with everything- every receipt, every scrap of notes- because you will not regret it. Misunderstood quotes for goods and services, misprinted delivery times, color choices, etc. can all be made right if you have the receipts. Get all quotes in writing, even if friends are baking, sewing, etc. for you. It's fair for both.

Mazel Tov! :beer:
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Nope, he does not. He is not giving a party to which you are invited. You are THE BRIDE. His role, and your mother's, is to help you have a wonderfully memorable day. You will notice I said "wonderfully", as opposed to other kinds of memorable!

May the sun shine, the plans go as arranged, and the bride and groom glow!
Yup. "He" referred to her dad. Sorry for the confusion.:D
Kate, it sounds like your day was grand! Best wishes for many happy years together. Have a wonderful wedding trip!

We also had music mix-ups; a late-arriving usher; and a groom who almost fainted- twice. The best part is thinking every day that it was the start of a wonderful life together.
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