Best wishes, Kate! I had a great time planning my wedding in 1992 because I did it all myself. My parents lived 1500 miles away and sent checks every so often. I was nearly 40 so I was not in the mood for a long white dress; in fact, mine came from Eddie Bauer. (No, it was not down-filled.) We fed and watered 115 people. I don't think we spent much more than $5000 for the whole wedding, right down to my shoes.
Here's my take on your mom's behavior: If your mom is paying, she gets more say than if she's not. Having said that, it's YOUR wedding (the bride's gig, so to speak), and she is in very bad form to make it all about herself. If she wants to plan a party for herself, graciously allow her to do so, but it will not be YOUR wedding. If she wants to have your very important day be meaningful to you, her daughter, she should let you take the lead on planning. Period.
What does your fiance say? The two of you should decide how big or small, how fancy or simple, formal or laid back. Then go from there. Present your plan to your parent(s), but know what is not negotiable from your standpoint.
Please do keep a binder with everything- every receipt, every scrap of notes- because you will not regret it. Misunderstood quotes for goods and services, misprinted delivery times, color choices, etc. can all be made right if you have the receipts. Get all quotes in writing, even if friends are baking, sewing, etc. for you. It's fair for both.
Mazel Tov! :beer:
Here's my take on your mom's behavior: If your mom is paying, she gets more say than if she's not. Having said that, it's YOUR wedding (the bride's gig, so to speak), and she is in very bad form to make it all about herself. If she wants to plan a party for herself, graciously allow her to do so, but it will not be YOUR wedding. If she wants to have your very important day be meaningful to you, her daughter, she should let you take the lead on planning. Period.
What does your fiance say? The two of you should decide how big or small, how fancy or simple, formal or laid back. Then go from there. Present your plan to your parent(s), but know what is not negotiable from your standpoint.
Please do keep a binder with everything- every receipt, every scrap of notes- because you will not regret it. Misunderstood quotes for goods and services, misprinted delivery times, color choices, etc. can all be made right if you have the receipts. Get all quotes in writing, even if friends are baking, sewing, etc. for you. It's fair for both.
Mazel Tov! :beer:
