marriage jitters
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Having been down this particular road more times than I care to admit (3), I can offer you a word or two from the trenches.
I'm SURE my mother knew my first marriage would end up in the dumpster but she stood back and let me make my own mistake. I got married the first time for some of the most popular wrong reasons. a) All my friends were married; b) I was 27 (with 28 looming) and unmarried, which caused me to c) See all kinds of non-existent positive personality traits in my soon-to-be husband. Of course, after being married a short time I realized how many of his wonderful attributes were imagined. Adios #1.
XH-2 was an attempt to live my life the way everyone else said I should. Friends and family wished I would a) Seek out a college grad (I'm more the rugged guy lover); b) Go for someone who was an office type - suit & tie, soft hands, etc. (see 'a'); c) At least partially base my choice on earning potential (not generally a consideration for me); and finally d) Try someone older than me (THIS should have been my biggest indicator of disaster...). Five years, a costly divorce, bankruptcy later, I was on my own again. Kick #2 for a field goal and 3 points.
This brings me to #3. Thank GOD for my husband. (My 3rd and last.) It took some doing but I found someone who a) respects me, b) loves me, c) believes in me. Now most people don't have to test drive 3 spouses - and they are the lucky ones. If you can stand back and in your heart of hearts know that your daughter has made a responsible decision with just the right amount of passion and fun factored in, you can watch her life unfold with optimism. If you feel the relationship is "iffy" then you must let her travel whatever road awaits her.
I'm SURE my mother knew my first marriage would end up in the dumpster but she stood back and let me make my own mistake. I got married the first time for some of the most popular wrong reasons. a) All my friends were married; b) I was 27 (with 28 looming) and unmarried, which caused me to c) See all kinds of non-existent positive personality traits in my soon-to-be husband. Of course, after being married a short time I realized how many of his wonderful attributes were imagined. Adios #1.
XH-2 was an attempt to live my life the way everyone else said I should. Friends and family wished I would a) Seek out a college grad (I'm more the rugged guy lover); b) Go for someone who was an office type - suit & tie, soft hands, etc. (see 'a'); c) At least partially base my choice on earning potential (not generally a consideration for me); and finally d) Try someone older than me (THIS should have been my biggest indicator of disaster...). Five years, a costly divorce, bankruptcy later, I was on my own again. Kick #2 for a field goal and 3 points.
This brings me to #3. Thank GOD for my husband. (My 3rd and last.) It took some doing but I found someone who a) respects me, b) loves me, c) believes in me. Now most people don't have to test drive 3 spouses - and they are the lucky ones. If you can stand back and in your heart of hearts know that your daughter has made a responsible decision with just the right amount of passion and fun factored in, you can watch her life unfold with optimism. If you feel the relationship is "iffy" then you must let her travel whatever road awaits her.
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Thanks Kuan
and chiffonade...
It seems the third time was the charm for you
. My daughter is only 20, so very young, but hopefully things will work out fine.
The wedding was very nice, but very hot...it was 93 deg outside that day and the church, an old church in the country, had no air conditioning; I think everyone was feeling just a little wilted (understatement)
and chiffonade...
It seems the third time was the charm for you
. My daughter is only 20, so very young, but hopefully things will work out fine.The wedding was very nice, but very hot...it was 93 deg outside that day and the church, an old church in the country, had no air conditioning; I think everyone was feeling just a little wilted (understatement)
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You forgot to tell us what she served at the wedding! Was the wedding cake a work of art?? Glad it went well (albeit a little moist).
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Jock - I think that would definitely be the easy way to do it!
chiffonade - All the food was prepared by a relative of the groom and, because of the weather forecast, was changed from a dinner to cold meat and cheese platters, salads, etc. I don't think anyone felt much like eating a lot. And the wedding cake was prepared by a relative of the groom also...and I think it turned out beautifully (2-tiered heart-shaped cake w/maroon-colored roses). I took a cake decorating class years ago, but don't think I could have done anything nearly as nice. (They were trying to keep the cost of the wedding down, so thank goodness for talented relatives!)
chiffonade - All the food was prepared by a relative of the groom and, because of the weather forecast, was changed from a dinner to cold meat and cheese platters, salads, etc. I don't think anyone felt much like eating a lot. And the wedding cake was prepared by a relative of the groom also...and I think it turned out beautifully (2-tiered heart-shaped cake w/maroon-colored roses). I took a cake decorating class years ago, but don't think I could have done anything nearly as nice. (They were trying to keep the cost of the wedding down, so thank goodness for talented relatives!)
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