[prairiechef]

You know the ones... the "I just wanna hear myself complain so I feel important" people.

I had a guest order spaghetti last night. It's a huge seller for me... appeals to the comfort food folks. They love it.

So.. guest orders it.

Complains to the server. No... not flavour. It tasted great. Not portion size... that was fine too.

No... my spaghetti is too short. I need to modify my menus so that guests know they're getting (and I quote) "Chicken noodle soup noodles instead of spaghetti." Apparently this man was offended by a 12" noodle.

I'm guessing if I used a 24" noodle, he'd complain that his fork wasn't big enough to twirl it.

 

[foodpump]

But if you gave them 24" noodles, you'd hafta give them a bib,or they'd get sauce splatters all down their front. Give 'em a bib, and it's too short, too long, too cheap, doesn't accentuate the female form.

Meh, I think your hair is the wrong colour./img/vbsmilies/smilies/biggrin.gif

 

[prairiechef]

Hah!! Shows what you know! I shave my head.

 

[leeniek]

 I'm not sure if she was back yesterday or today but we've had a crazy person come in.  She seems to think that the RCMP (Royal Canadian Mounted Police) is trying to kill her and that there are undercover officers in every restaurant she goes to that put poison in her food and water.  So she showed up Saturday, ordered an eggs and fruit platter, the complained the fruit was not fresh. Uhm it was fresh cut that morning and not frozen or canned.  Whatever.. the servers dealt with her and then she came back Sunday.  Same deal with the RCMP blah blah... and again ate every last morsel of food on her plate and complained again.  She showed up on Monday and again at the end when she was paying her bill she complained about the food and the service.  The owner's son cashed her out and he had enough of her and said "if you hate it so much here why do you keep coming back?"  According to her it's the RCMP that's making her have bad experiences when she dines out.. hmm.. then stop dining out, silly!  She said she filed a police report against us so who knows what is up with that...

 

[stl243]

we often get the CPC.

the Clean Plate Complainer.   eats everything and then says it was horrible.

 

[butzy]

Luckily we are not getting many complaints, but we had 2 at the same table the other day.

The fish curry was not curry and apparently neither was the vegetable curry.

I tasted both and they were absolutely tasty. Obviously I replaced the meals but I was pretty peeved off

They seemed to think that there is only one type of curry and that has to be made with curry powder. Anything else is not curry!!!!

The fish curry is one of my big sellers and is based on a coastal Kenyan recipe (and does contain turmeric, coriander, cumin, garlic and ginger), the Veg curry is a Thai curry.

By the way: I think Leeniek's will win the prize for most ridiculous complaint!

 

[chefedb]

I had 2 orders of Blackened Redfish returned cause they were to dark and well done. People admitted to waiter they never had before.?????

 

[leeniek]

 Thanks, Butzy!  I have not encountered anyone so delusional in the past before.  Interestingly enough we have yet to be visited by Halton Region's Finest and I really am not expecting a visit unless they stop in for breakfast or lunch between calls.

 

[leeniek]

 I hate the CPC's!  I had one that was a semi regular and the cafe and honestly.. if a place is so bad why keep going back?  One day she ordered a sandiwch with a ton of unappetizing mods (well to me anyway), ate it except for a last crust and then complained when I asked her how her meal was.  Apparently it was "so spicy she could hardly eat it" and I just said that I was "sorry she did not enjoy her sandwich and while the only thing I can do now is offer her dessert on the house, next time please come to me and I will remake her lunch so it is to her liking."   She never complained about the food on her subsequent visits... just what we are doing.  Once she told me I should be wearing gloves (I wash  my hands umpteen times a day and at the cafe after every time I switched tasks.. if I made a latte, I'd wash  my hands before cooking again,  I always washed my hands after doing cash, if I took an order I'd wash my hands before starting to fill it...  you get the picture)  I informed her "that gloves are not as sanitary as people think they are as the closed environment of gloves is a breeding ground for what is naturally on our hands so in fact her food is much safer when I wash my hands before making it than it would be if I had used gloves.  Gloves give everyone a false sense of security and should be used wisely."  She never complained to me after that.  One of the owners knew her.. the one owner had a cleaning business for years and she was a client for a short time.  This lady was never happy with anything or anyone and would always berate those she deemed to be below her. 

 

[bazza]

Beat this! A few years ago a customer complained that the handles on my cutlery were too thin and uncomfortable to hold. /img/vbsmilies/smilies/tongue.gif

 

[blueicus]

I dunno about the last one... I've eaten at restaurants where the cutlery is uncomfortable and awkward to use, heck even had to use teapots and cups that simply existed to look cool but were impractical.  Strange that form triumphs over function in this case, but true.

 

[quietgiroth]

I have to chime in on this one.  In one night I had (from 3 different tables)

My fish is too moist.

My Steak is too beefy/steaky tasting.  I know steaky isn't a word, but that's what they said.

My steak is too tender

Some night's you can't win. 

 

[gunnar]

I have to chime in on this one. In one night I had (from 3 different tables)

My fish is too moist.

My Steak is too beefy/steaky tasting. I know steaky isn't a word, but that's what they said.

My steak is too tender

Some night's you can't win.

1. Why isn't this overcooked like I make at home?

2. How come this doesn't taste like cardboard , like I make at home?

3. How come I don't need a chainsaw to cut this like I do at home?

unless you have used some sort of meat tenderizer , I hope you give me a tender steak. If this was a series of complaints on Yelp about your restaurant..I would have to eat there /img/vbsmilies/smilies/smile.gif

 

[highlander01]

Hah!!! I love this topic

I used to work at this place and we would have an elderly lady come in from time to time and order the french onion soup only without onion ...../img/vbsmilies/smilies/crazy.gif

figure that one out LoL

 

[rocktheknife]

"I need this salmon more burnt"

The insult to injury was that their toast was too browned!!

I guess some people just know what they want, but if you want burnt salmon on toast with mixed greens, why not make it yourself? I'm happy to take your money, but do you really want to pay so much for that?

 

[warba]

Had a special order for a fillet (16oz); no problem, we cut our own meat, but he wants it WELL DONE.

No problem I say, customer is always right.. but have waitress please ask if I can butterfly it - or it'll be 40+ minutes.

No bloody way he says, I can't butterfly his (basically Chateaubriand, except well done).

40 minutes later it goes out, grey throughout, but still a little moist inside.

Sends it back with "If I'd wanted raw I would have ordered it raw".

I offer to make a new one, but please allow me to butterfly it - I promise it will be tasty, nicely charred and WELL done. Nope - says to just throw it back on the "fire".

10 minutes later, out it goes.. this sad looking, charred bit of cinder... and it comes back with "if the chef can't cook a steak he shouldn't be in the kitchen".

FOH comps drinks for the table...

I'm embarrassed to say that by now I've totally lost my cool, so I throw it in the microwave (yes, really) for 3 minutes.

Then take it out and hold it over the wok burner until it's smokin. and I served it. (not proud of this.. but it was that or have an embolism).

Comment back was "that's more like it; should have come out like that in the first place".

geez.

 

[chefbuba]

This Manhattan is too strong!........... Anyone that complains about a mixed drink being too strong needs to stick to beer or white zin.

 

[warba]

Drinks too strong? ChefBuba.. where do you work ? I'll be right over /img/vbsmilies/smilies/smile.gif

 

[leeniek]

Drinks too strong? ChefBuba.. where do you work ? I'll be right over /img/vbsmilies/smilies/smile.gif

I agree.. just where is this place???

 

[chefbuba]

I'll never tell......