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I've been working in kitchens for 20 years now... I've done the gauntlet of kitchens in the country. From cookie cutter restaurants to one man kitchens to fine dining. Today I quit yet another job. I quit this kitchen like I've done every other kitchen in my life. I just disappeared. Today was during shift. Why? Because even if I am good enough I never feel good enough. I could be told by owners, by management, FOH,BOH wait staff whomever that I'm doing fine. I'm good. But I never believe it. I could never be good as anyone in any kitchen. I have some of the worst negative self talk. I have been told this by my peers, by therapist, and I continue to do this to myself and to businesses. My co worker came to my house after I quit this job today and told me to come back. Told me I folded. And I agree I did. But how am I supposed to get past it? I suck. I've never completed anything in life. I've never worked in a kitchen for longer than a year. Ever. I've never been not rehired if I've needed it. Like so I can't suck that bad. But It may be the the job market too. Guess I do suck.
 

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Would you treat anyone, the way you are treating yourself? If the answer is no, then why are you doing it to yourself.
 
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My honest opinion is that you are not afraid to fail but you are scared sh#tless to succeed because if you do, you will lose any excuses that worked in the past and you will expect yourself to perform at 100%, 100% of the time, and that is a daunting task.
 

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My training is exclusively cooking and baking, so I can’t help you with why you are doing what you do, or how to stop. That said, the day will come when your reputation as a quitter will bite you in the a$$ at a job interview.
 

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Your co-worker asked/told you to come back..... listen to that - if you truly sucked they would be glad to see you go but they want you to come back. Stop listening to the voice in your head and go back. And stay!
 

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I would listen to your co worker and go back and stay.. we all have bad days but it is how we handle them and get through them that makes us who we are.
 

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I would listen to your co worker and go back and stay.. we all have bad days but it is how we handle them and get through them that makes us who we are.
And working through them, and whatever is triggering you to blow your employers off, will make you a stronger person and give you the coping skills you need to keep going, not bolting. You'll become a better employee, and eventually a better boss.

You need to look back and figure out WHAT that "trigger event" is, and learn how to get past it without fleeing like a bear with its tail on fire. Because like Foodpump aptly stated, once your reputation as "Johnny Walkout" gets around, and eventually it will get around, then you'll be hurting for ANY job, even if you get out of foods into something else, because (and I'm saying this as af former boss) no one in their right mind would hire someone unreliable. Especially in a busy shop.

It sounds trite, but get over it, before it gets over on you.
 

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I do the same but for me i think it's from trauma within the industry and anxiety. I personally feel like people expect way too much out of me even on my first day that they will run me through the ringer. i'd say about 50% of my career was actually just me being thrown into the first on my very first day not knowing wth i am doing yet the workers expecting me to know as if i've worked for this company for months. Now whenever i look for a new job i get a ton of anxiety if i will be a good fit or not despite i have years of experience those past bad ones just keep giving me anxiety. sometimes i will get job offers and take them and not even go in on the first day because it's just that bad. most of the time they are nice about it though and tell me if im still looking to call them back.

Work wise im pretty good if they are willing to train usually takes me about a week or 2 at max to pick up but other then that i just learn as i go. the way i treat it now is i just do what I can, ask questions where needed, and treat it more like a job rather then let it run my life.
 

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I've been working in kitchens for 20 years now... I've done the gauntlet of kitchens in the country. From cookie cutter restaurants to one man kitchens to fine dining. Today I quit yet another job. I quit this kitchen like I've done every other kitchen in my life. I just disappeared. Today was during shift. Why? Because even if I am good enough I never feel good enough. I could be told by owners, by management, FOH,BOH wait staff whomever that I'm doing fine. I'm good. But I never believe it. I could never be good as anyone in any kitchen. I have some of the worst negative self talk. I have been told this by my peers, by therapist, and I continue to do this to myself and to businesses. My co worker came to my house after I quit this job today and told me to come back. Told me I folded. And I agree I did. But how am I supposed to get past it? I suck. I've never completed anything in life. I've never worked in a kitchen for longer than a year. Ever. I've never been not rehired if I've needed it. Like so I can't suck that bad. But It may be the the job market too. Guess I do suck.

If you always do what you always did you'll always get what you always got.

To break the cycle, quit listening to your own stupid mind.
if you find that impossible then you are beyond human aid and help must come from a higher power, unless you can't conceive of an entity greater than self, in which case you are free to continue your downward toxic spiral until you beat yourself to a bloody pulp and finally become teachable. That was my own personal experience, your experience is not so uncommon.

You cannot get past your defiance until you accept you cannot control your own thought life, no one can really, but yours happens to be destructive.

in spiritual terms, you can only achieve victory by declaring defeat, until you surrender to the hopelessness of your condition you cannot progress. its very paradoxical.

At this point you are baffled and thats what your mind wants you to be.
does any of this ring a bell ?
 
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