[culinarian247]

My friend died last week. My aunt died on Saturday and my father was admitted to the hospital yesterday because he had a massive heart attack and is in a coma.

I haven't eaten or slept in two days. I am in Las Vegas and he's in Inglewood, CA. The hospital won't tell me a d*** thing and I'm getting PO'd.

 

[alexia]

How awful. A few years ago I was in a situation with a member of my family in which one disaster heaped upon another, so I know how helpless and overwhelmed you must feel. I hope that your father will recover. These days medicine can do remarkable things.

Regarding the hospital not cooperating in giving you information. Have you called the hospital administrator or your father's personal physician? Often the people who answer the phones when you call are not allowed to give info on the phone which would violate the patient's privacy. Or perhaps they are afraid you are not who you say you are. Perservere.

 

[mezzaluna]

Go to Inglewood, if your heart tells you that you need to be there. Sometimes only action can help. You have my deepest condolences on your aunt's death, and I will keep your father in my prayers.

 

[jim berman]

All the strength in the world to you. Like Mezz said, get to California.
-Jim

 

[terrarich]

So very sorry for you. All my best thoughts to your father.

terrarich

 

[bubbamom]

My sympathy on your losses. Let the good memories carry you thru. In the meanwhile ...get to Dad's bedside and establish communication with his doc's and caregivers.

 

[nicko]

You and your family will be in mine and my wifes prayers.

 

[peachcreek]

If you worked for me, I would have put you on a plane myself if I had to. Your work won't miss you for a few days while you take care of things that really matter. Having lost both parents many years ago I cannot stress how important it is to take time with family while everybody is around. Work will always survive, always get done, and always be there when you get back.

 

[kimmie]

Dear culinarian247,

May it help to know how many people share your sorrow and stand with you in your time of need.

 

[culinarian247]

Thank you all so much for your thoughts and prayers. I had snags getting to CA but I'm here nonetheless. My father is at Daniel Freeman hospital in Inglewood.

 

[marmalady]

Culinarian,

So glad you made it to California; I can only echo what everyone else has said; in times like this, nothing else matters but family. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

Do you know if your dad had an 'advance directive' or 'living will'? It would help you in making decisions re his care, until he's able to make his own. I'm sure you're going to get hit with a lot of tough medical questions regarding his care and treatments; be sure to have the docs/nurses/technicians explain EVERYTHING to you, even if they seem to be impatient. Make sure they've explained to your satisfaction what's going on and why.

I don't mean to knock the medical profession, but I've seen so much when my son was hurt; even seemingly unimportant matters like having your dad turned every 2 hours in his bed can go a long way toward prevention of skin breakdown and 'bed sores', one of the most common complications of anyone lying incapacitated for a long time.

Please feel feel to email me if you have any questions re dealing with docs; please also know that I'm not talking about getting militant here (well, not unless it's really needed!), just that there are lots of options available and information to be gleaned.

Best wishes and ((((hugs)))) - Jackie

 

[culinarian247]

Thank you, marm. I don't think they can slip too much past me. I am a former orderly and phlebotomist. Prior to culinary arts I was pre-med at UC Riverside. My sister is in charge of wills and trusts. She's very level-headed, especially now. I may e-mail you later and talk then. Right now I am waiting for my brothers to show up. Again, thank you all for your kind words and sentiments.


------Jeff

 

[marmalady]

Hey, Jeff, Glad to hear the situation's under control! Hope things are looking better for your dad, and that the rest of your family is coming on board. Best wishes - try not to eat too much of that wonderful hospital food!

 

[eds77k5]

our prayers will be with you and your family

 

[culinarian247]

Just letting you all know about my dad's condition. he' son life support. The doctor says he'll be taken off on Tuesday (the 10th day). It doesn't look good at all...........

 

[phoebe]

Dear Jeff,

I am so sorry. This is a very difficult time for you. It's really hard (I know) but try to take care of yourself: get something to eat and try to sleep. You're going to need strength. Please know that we'll all be thinking of you.

 

[isa]

I am so sorry Jeff. Please know you and your family are in my thoughts.

 

[culinarian247]

I haven't eaten more than a candy bar and water for a few days. I don't sleep. I look like a transient. And now come Monday morning (not Tuesday anymore). i'm not going to have a father anymore. I can't begin to tell you how pissed I am right now. I mean he is only 61. I work with people older than that. THIS IS NOT FAIR!!!!!!

 

[leo r.]

Jeff,i`m very sorry to hear the news about your dad.It`s things like this that put a lot of other matters in the shade.
I do know how you feel,i lost both my parents within eighteen months.To describe your present situation as unfair is an understatement,i`d say that life really SUCKS sometimes!!

Please try to look after yourself as there are people who care about you.I realise this isn`t easy by any stretch of the imagination,but YOUR health is important.Leo.

 

[marmalady]

Dear Jeff,

Having been through the emotional wrestling after my son's accident (he's a quadriplegic with a spinal cord injury), and trying to figure out the workings of the universe, I've come to the conclusion that there are greater forces than we at work, and to try to make sense out of senseless events is futile, to say the least. Fair? No. But it's all part of the cycle.

Be with your dad as much as you can; I know that somewhere in his soul he knows you're there.

And take with you the memories you have, and hold them in your heart, and pass them on to your children as his legacy.

Peace,

Jackie

Ascension

And If I go,
while you're still here...
Know that I live on,
vibrating to a different measure
-behind a thin veil you cannot see through.
You will never see me,
so you must have faith.
I wait for the time when we can soar together again,
-both aware of each other.
Until then, live your life to its fullest.
And when you need me,
Just whisper my name in your heart,
...I will be there.

-Colleen Corah Hitchcock