...For their ability to move on with their lives after a breakup when it took me six months of cold hands, blue lips and utter misery.
Then I learned how to navigate my way around a breakup.
If a couple has broken up, there has to be a reason. Something broke down. For one or both of you, the quality of the relationship ceased to be at an acceptable level. For one or both of you, the other stopped being what was needed in each other's lives. Whatever contribution was made to either of your lives, it's either no longer necessary or it stopped being contributed. This is not the end of the world for either of you. It might be if you resided on a deserted island and he was the only other inhabitant but you wouldn't have an internet connection if that were the case, so it's moot.
Women tend to blame themselves for breakups. We're good at self-reflection and assuming responsibility when things go wrong. Once we cease this line of thinking and realize that a relationship is created by the joining of at least two people, we can stop shouldering all the blame and move on with our lives.
Remember:
A relationship was only a waste of time if you repeat the same mistakes. Learn something, derive some lesson out of a failed relationship, and try your best not to have to contend with the same situation a second time.
Look in the mirror and say this out loud to yourself: I am a quality person with a lot to offer a companion. And believe it. Don't sell yourself short by accepting defeat and considering yourself unworthy of happiness.
Self-esteem is the best pheromone. People tend to want to surround themselves with people who hold themselves in high esteem. Now don't get so inflated that you're impossible to be around but be confident in what you have to offer to a companion or even your friends and family.
When a relationship dies I compare it to a dead horse. Don't try to breathe life into a dead horse, it'll only give you bad breath.
I've been married twice before my current (and final) marriage. It took me 3 tries to find someone who was truly a complement to the person I am. First husband was a mismatch but we're still friends and speak often. Second husband was a nightmare and I wouldn't p!ss on him if he were on fire. Finally, my terrific guy came along (in of all places a Yahoo! chatroom) and we are blissfully happy. As a matter of fact, we just celebrated our 4th anniversary...of the day we met.
This is a person in whose life I always want to be. I don't want to even consider what my life would be like without him. You may say, "that's how it was with us," but you'd be wrong. To fully enjoy this type of closeness, it has to be reciprocal, or it's a fantasy all in your head.
If/when a person stops making you happy, they need to be out of your life. Find yourself someone whose company you crave, whom you kiss, or at least touch, just about every time he enters a room. Find someone in whose presence you feel respected and treasured, who, when he smiles at you, makes you feel like you're the most important thing in his life. Find someone who respects your hopes and dreams and will support you in any endeavors you may have for the future. This huge and cannot be stressed enough.
These are basic building blocks of a strong foundation. This is what I wish for you.
